We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Dolores Cruz. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Dolores below.

Hi Dolores, thanks for joining us today. We’d love to hear the story of how you went from this being just an idea to making it into something real.

My professional writing career started later in life, catapulted into existence by the unexpected passing away of my 24-year-old son, Eric, in May of 2017. When that occurred, I was face to face with grief and had no idea what to do with myself next, how to survive this pain. With the help of my amazing grief therapist, I was able to allow my grief to flow while at the same time find a way to live my life with this new reality.

My therapist had asked me within the first few months if I thought I had a book in me – that’s the way she phrased it. At the time I didn’t think I would ever write a book, and so I told her I didn’t think so. A few months later, someone else asked me that same question. I answered in similar fashion, “Probably not.”

Then at about the one year mark after my son’s passing, my therapist asked me again if I might write a book. At this point I had read a few others books written by parents whose child had passed away. As I read them I considered the possibility that I could do this. And so I told her, “Maybe.” But I still kept it on the back burner.

One day, at the 2 year mark (May of 2019), I was driving to work, when suddenly I had a download of how my book would unfold, a kind of an outline of the chapters. The ideas literally flowed into my head. It was surprising, but I allowed it all in. When I got to work, I wrote down every detail I could remember. The seeds had been planted. Still, I didn’t do anything about it right away. I let it simmer.

But when the Covid shutdown occurred in late March of 2020, I decided that this was the time. We were all stuck at home now, and it was actually a perfect opportunity to write. I wrote daily, and that same flow I felt the previous year flowed through me again. I trusted it, and the words were there. Whenever the little voice inside me came up to tell me that maybe this was too big for me, I shut it down. I reminded myself there was no reason I could not do this. I completed the manuscript in four months.

But now what? I had never done this before. I spoke to a few friends who had self-published and did a lot of google searches. I had so many questions. Who do I publish with? How do I find an editor? A formatter? What about the cover? How will the photos work within the pages? So many details that seasoned authors know the answers to like the backs of their hands, but for me, it was tedious and there was so much to learn. It was one step at a time. And with every step I kept my son close to my heart, knowing that this was an important way to honor him and to let others know about him.

Little by little, and with a lot of good old trial and error, my book was completed and published by September of 2020. And that was just the beginning.

Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.

I grew up in Los Angeles. My mom was a violinist and a writer, my older brother was a musician and composer, and my younger brother was a drummer, so art and expression were part of my surroundings since birth. I attended USC as a theatre major. There, I learned about art as expression, and appreciated the works of the classic writers and playwrights. Participated in the production of many plays and musicals, both on stage and behind the scenes.

At that point, however, my own writing was little more than the essays I turned in for my classes and my own journals. Eventually I pursued work as a public school teacher and raised my family along with my husband. Having taken dance class all my life, I was also able to teach ballet, tap, and jazz classes at a local dance studio in the evenings.

I like to say that I did not choose this path in life, it chose me. I felt called to put forth something positive after the huge loss of my youngest child. After the initial debilitating and necessary mourning, something inside me told me not to shrink away in despair. I knew that Eric’s legacy of kindness and living life to the fullest could teach me how to live again. I wanted to take what life had given me and run with it, letting it turn me into the best version of myself possible. Reading other parents’ similar stories was so helpful to me that I wanted to share my story in the hopes it may help someone else in grief. and at the same time honor my son.

My writing and my message to my audience focus on grief, something most people don’t want to talk about or even think about. Yet every one of us will be touched by grief in one way or another in our lives, at least a few times, or maybe quite often. So why can’t we have a conversation about this common experience in life? There are many other cultures in this world that do not back away from this discussion. It is healthy to have it. I believe we are here on this earth to share in the joys as well as the sorrows, and to help each other along the way.

As mentioned, I began with my first book, Look Around, which offers hope after the despairing loss of a loved one. What followed was the creation of my website and my online blog which tells more stories and provides more insight about navigating the challenges of life that are specifically related to grief. Before long, I wrote another book, A Bird Called Wisdom, which is a poetic expression of this same grief journey. I published two articles as a guest writer for HuffPost, was interviewed on many podcast interviews, and have become involved in more writing projects. I am proud of every one of these accomplishments.

The most rewarding part of all of this is the response from readers. I have received many emails through my website from people who have read my books and articles. They express gratitude for the telling of my story because they have been able to relate to this pain. They go on to tell me about their loss and their loved one. Interestingly, hearing their stories helps me as well. There is a connection made when this happens. We become more compassionate toward one another. We feel the bond of our humanity. We know we are not alone.

What’s the most rewarding aspect of being a creative in your experience?

I believe every one of us is an artist, though not everyone chooses to reveal their gifts or has had the opportunity to do so. We are naturally creative beings. Art is an expression of one’s soul. It is a passion embedded deeply inside each one of us. Whether the art is expressed through paint, music, dance, theatre, or any other form, what comes forth is the true self.
A finished piece – written article, musical composition, or choreographed dance – is a satisfying reward, but I find the expression itself to be the most valuable reward of all. The process is where we encounter each moment, each thread of the tapestry. The journey is the joy.

Is there mission driving your creative journey?

My desire to serve others who are experiencing grief drives my writing, I have spent much time in various grief support groups and now serve as a volunteer in these groups. I have seen that grief, which every one of us will experience at some point in our lives, is avoided and swept aside. And that’s understandable because it’s painful. But my goal is to broaden this important conversation so that it is no longer taboo. Speaking about this can be healing to us all, can bring forth compassion and understanding. I hope my books, blog, and articles can help to generate this discussion.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.doloreslookaround.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dolorescruzauthor/?hl=en
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61550080924331
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dolores-cruz-9505054b/
• Other: Blog: https://doloreslookaround.blogspot.com/
  HuffPost Article: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/son-died-unexpectedly-grief_n_633e01cde4b04cf8f369d425
  HuffPost Article: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/24-year-old-son-died-unexpectedly-heard-his-voice-say-4-words-gave-peace_n_654c080fe4b0e3ecaf8c1744