Dian, thanks for joining us, excited to have you contributing your stories and insights. Let’s kick things off with your mission – what is it and what’s the story behind why it’s your mission?
Wow what a question! My life has been a journey of being resilient, getting kicked down, coming right back up, grieving, having success, witnessing miraculous divine moments, striving for validation and self worth, searching for the joy and healing in all of it. And now, returning home to “Shine”.
In 2012, I was asked by someone “What’s your mission, what gets you up in the morning?” I sat with it, and then said “For everyone to get their worth and Shine”.
At that moment, I was transported back to my childhood. I was born on an island in England, called the “Isle of Sheppey”. We have a bridge connecting us to the mainland. My Mum was Sicilian, Dad was Irish and they met in Tripoli. My Dad told me that he knew from the moment he saw my Mum that he was going to marry her. I have 4 older siblings. Life was always full on!
When I reached the grand old age of 8, my Dad got cancer. We were told he had 3 months to live (and through the grace of God, and a lot of love and then determination on his part – he lived for 24 more years).
I discovered, in the midst of all of this, that I had a gift for listening. My way of connecting with my Mum and Dad was to listen to their past adventures and travels. And I loved hearing it! I was also witness to their struggles. My Mum dealt with depression, which was tough. I always wanted her to see how amazing she was and that if she had a dream, she could achieve it. So, my journey, from an early age – without even knowing it – was for everyone to be seen and heard, and to live their heart’s desires.
In many ways I lived this mission. I have been a singer songwriter for 30 years. I only took jobs if they spoke to my heart. It’s been unconventional, eclectic and fun. I’ve sung opera in Singapore (I am operatically trained), been in a girl band (just like the Spice Girls), sang Jazz in London, wrote dance tracks in New York, recorded one of my songs in Ghana, Africa with a rapper called “Stormy Da Bouncy” and was asked to write a song for a World Peace Event.
And there were a lot of challenges. One of them was speaking with A&R at record labels. At 23 years old, I was told I was too old and that if I couldn’t give them a genre I could be classified under and the name of an artist that I was similar to, they would not invest in me. I was too big a risk. It felt that I was constantly given the message to fit in, to conform.
My biggest obstacle that I began to notice was that I would get so far with opportunities, and then hide out. There was a voice in my head which said “You don’t deserve to Shine”. And it got louder as I got closer to success. Something was in my way, a blindspot preventing me from getting my worth and fully “Shining”. I still went on and performed, but the voice persisted. And it affected every area of my life.
I’ve always been a soul searcher and willing to try new things to understand myself and the world around me. But it was when my parents passed away, and I stopped singing, writing, and ultimately dreaming, that I really got present to the fact that I didn’t have any answers to anything. For the first time in my life I was open to listening without having to produce a response or a solution. So my path ever since then has been to be willing to recognize the presence of obstacles and be open to see what is on the other side.
From this newfound sense of peace and freedom, I created a passion project called “Shine”, inspired by my journey learning to overcome my obstacles and helping others to do the same. In the UK, I created a 12-week program, which led to a performance. I found 6 singers who had a gift in music and something in their way. All ages and abilities participated – one singer had autism, another dealt with body dysmorphia, others were challenged with low self esteem.
I coached them through their breakdowns and breakthroughs, and then they invited everyone they had ever wanted to “Shine” in front of to make up the audience. It was really special. One guy who came said “I don’t normally cry watching singers, but this one got me”.
I moved to the States in 2013, and “Shine” took on a life of its own. I had entrepreneurs asking me to coach them with their mission, business leaders wanting help to use their voices more effectively, performing artists wanting to be comfortable within themselves on and off the stage – all in the service of being freed up. And to ultimately come home to themselves.
One of my participants wrote: “I became present to the areas I wasn’t expressing my true voice, I increased my effectiveness and sales, more than with any other course or product i’ve tried” – CEO of Dreamin Inc.
My next obstacle was my divorce. I realized it was time for me to “Shine”. So in October 2022, I launched “iShineWorkshops”, which are customized experiential workshops and coaching programs for you to go from your head to your heart. I currently work with Treatment Centers, Business Leaders, Entrepreneurs, Universities and Entertainers.
What an adventure this has been! I have learned that I had to be a stand for myself to “Shine”, before I could be that for others. And that there’s no need to fix anything or anyone, just reclaim this beautiful life that I/we have been given. And this journey is ongoing.
Coming from this space is a gift. And an honor to witness in others. In the words of one of my participants, “Thank you for teaching me how to SHINE” from Tristan, 10 years old.
Dian, love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?
I am Dian Buckley, creator and owner of iShineWorkshops, which are customized experiential workshops and coaching programs to enable you to go from your head to your heart. I have been a Singer/Songwriter for around 30 years and a Vocal and Performing Arts Coach for 16 years. I have also led introductions for a Personal Development Program. I co-created an Intervention & Family Coaching Practice which helped families and organizations dealing with Addiction, Mental & Behavioral Health.
I am originally from England and came to the United States in 2013. In 2012, I manifested a vision, while on stage, to go to Africa and teach Music (which I did) and then to win a Grammy for writing and singing a song that will make a big difference in the world (still on its way!).
After I returned from Ghana, a colleague said “Are you serious about the Grammy”, I said “Yes”. She said “Then you’ll need to move to LA”.
At the time, I was Head of Performing Arts at an accredited autistic school in England (Helen Allison School), responsible for building programs and productions for around 100 boys/young men and 5 girls/young women ages 5 to 20 years old. I asked for a year’s sabbatical, they said “Go live your dreams and we will be here if you want to come back”. Amazing!!!!
I knew no one in LA, only had a small amount of money and a dream in my heart. Within a year, I found myself 2 visa sponsors – one was a filmmaker who saw my tweets on Twitter and the other was a wonderful lady who also had a commitment to the world of Autism. I was introduced to an amazing immigration lawyer, based in Miami, who believed in what I was creating. He is still my friend to this day.
On 31st March 2013, I moved to Santa Monica. Living in America has been such an adventure. I’ve sung/written songs, taught and led iShineWorkshops all over the States. I have also set up 2 businesses now. As well as LA, I lived in Las Vegas and finally am in Nashville.
Every day for me is a chance to explore and learn. I am so grateful that I took this leap of faith.
Let’s talk about resilience next – do you have a story you can share with us?
When I was 17 years old, out of the blue, my English teacher at school told me that he believed I had a talent for performance. He asked me if I had ever thought about going to acting school? I was honored and surprised that he even noticed me. Up until then, my secret passion was singing (which I hadn’t shared with anyone at school) and I had only read plays in class. So, during my lunch breaks he would spend time giving me elocution lessons and training me for auditions. I remember learning “Saint Joan” by George Bernard Shaw.
With his encouragement, I auditioned for The Academy of Live and Recorded Arts (ALRA), a London Acting & Drama School. I got in, with a scholarship to pay for tuition and a small accommodation grant. Which was great as my parents would not have had the money to support me for this. At the age of 17 years old, I moved from my home in the Isle of Sheppey, in Kent to London. I am from a hard working family – Mum and Dad had a cleaning business, and there were no professional actors or singers in my world. Except my Sicilian grandfather who was a Semi Professional Opera Singer.
I was forging a new path. And I soon found out that this would be tough for me! At ALRA, I was one of the youngest students. Ages ranged from 17 to around 55 years old. There were long hours. I was now in a full time world of acting, dealing with a lot of different personalities, expectations and the pressures of living in a city as well as being in a relationship (I moved in with my boyfriend). I also had concerns for my Mum and Dad’s health. The final straw was being knocked down by a car in the center of London. I injured my knee and was on crutches.
Dealing with all of this and more, by the time I was 19 years old, I was suffering from Anorexia Nervosa. At its worst, I was 63 pounds. I was called into the Principal’s office to be told that there were concerns that I wouldn’t be able to finish the course. I stood my ground and said “Please give me a chance, I can do this”.
As I walked out of the office on crutches from my injuries in the accident. I was stopped by one of the Shakespearean teachers, an older lady, who I just didn’t connect with. She said to me “I don’t know why everyone wants to keep you here, you’re not going to succeed, you just don’t have what it takes”. I was devastated, blindsided and angry. I didn’t say anything. I just kept on walking down the corridor.
I truly believe that I am blessed and taken care of. Soon after that experience, an amazing Australian singing coach came to our college. He took me under his wing, and like with my English teacher, he told me how talented I was – this time with my singing. He said my voice reminded him of Rickie Lee Jones (I didn’t know who she was at the time – I do now, of course!).
Within a few months of working with him, I was chosen to perform in a West End musical production of “Sweeney Todd”. And my parents came all the way to see me – they sat in the front row. And even to this day, I get emotional remembering this.
I kept my word that I would complete my course and I was awarded a BA Hons in Acting. I was not willing to let someone else’s jaded opinion stop me. I was fighting for my life in every sense of the word. I am forever grateful to my teachers who supported me, along with my Dad – who stayed up until 1:00 am in the morning to tape Casey Kasem’s America’s Top 40 for me, as he knew I loved my music.
As for my eating disorder, after being told by a family doctor, if I don’t eat I will die. I had a miraculous encounter. I was walking to ALRA and saw a couple looking adoringly at each other at a traffic light. She had long blonde hair. Their powerful loving energy stopped me in my tracks. They kissed. It was beautiful. At that moment, I thought “I want to experience that”. I looked down at my bony body – white leotard with big blue overalls – and knew I wanted to live. So I began my journey back to health.
It did not happen overnight. My eating disorder was about me wanting control in a world where I felt lost. It took 6 years of learning about myself (that journey still continues), breakdowns, breakthroughs, you name it. Since 1996, I have been in recovery.
People often ask me, “Are you cured now?” I smile. In an ideal world, eating is a way of life. When I am dealing with something, my self image and eating habits can be affected to a smaller degree. The difference this time – and from everything that I’ve gone through – is that I am so grateful for the gift of my life. I’m much more committed to healing than I am to hurting.
Can you tell us about a time you’ve had to pivot?
When I was 29 years old, I was temping as a receptionist at the City Media Center in London, the media hub for the London Stock Exchange. (I was even asked to put on a music show for their first year anniversary which was a lot of fun). Whilst there, I met a presenter from Reuters, she said if you ever move to Sydney, I’ll meet you at the airport. So, after some thought and wanting to take on a new adventure in my life. I moved to Sydney, Australia. She did meet me at the airport, and that was the only time we connected. Which was another valuable gift – even though brief, this was a divine signpost for me.
Being in Australia was an amazing adventure. I lived by the water, sang, did voice overs, and met lots of wonderful people. I was even considering becoming a citizen.
Then one morning I had a phone call from my Dad to say my Mum had been taken to hospital. I was shocked, and I wasn’t completely distraught as my parents had dealt with health issues throughout most of my life. A few days later, the night before I was flying back to England to see my Mum. I had another phone call from my Sister, this time, saying she had passed away. She was 62 years old. All I remember was that I was standing out by Sydney Harbor, and the next thing I was on my knees, crying, screaming, whilst people were walking all around me.
I came back to the UK for the funeral, and stayed with my Father. When Mum died, I suddenly became aware that I needed and wanted stability. Up until this point in time, I had lived a life – auditioning, singing, following my dreams and doing temp work to have enough money so I could keep on doing what I loved. I had no savings, was living from day to day, and with such a shock of how fragile life is, I thought that I needed to build a foundation for myself.
Teaching kept calling to me. One of my last jobs in Australia was as a Receptionist/Assistant at the Director of Educations office, and I enjoyed it. In England, there were only 2 establishments which trained teachers in the Arts. Miraculously – within a month – I got into one of them. I moved back to London and was awarded a teaching scholarship. Initially, I trained in Drama and Dance, then branched out to “Performing Arts” (Music, Dance and Drama).
I have taught Voice and Performing Arts for 16 years. And like with my music, my experience has been a wide scope and taken me around the globe – Europe, USA to Africa. From inner city to private schools, colleges, university, an orphanage, choirs, performing arts establishments, MusiCares. And one of my favorites – 7 years as Head of Performing Arts at an accredited autistic school in the UK. All of this practice really helped me with building iShineWorkshops.
This pivot in my life was not easy. I struggled with being a teacher, especially regarding – did this mean I had to give up on my dreams with music? Also, at the back of my mind, were George Bernard Shaw’s words from Man and Superman, “Those who can do, those who can’t teach”. (George if you can hear me – you try teaching and see if you’ll still stand by these words).
Alongside of this, I was also grieving the loss of my Mum and then my fathers passing a few years later. It was a lot to deal with. And, in all honesty, I can say now, that I believe it was meant to be for me to go on this journey and that everything does work out – not by my will, but “thy will”.
Through this pivot, I learned how to get out of my head and into the world with others. That we’re all on a voyage in life. It’s beautiful to connect with this, witness it in someone else and also be a contribution. Life does not have to be all or nothing – I have still kept my passion with my music and other hearts desires alive. Lastly, trust the process, it will reveal itself.
Contact Info:
Website: https://ishineworkshops.com
Other: Contact: Dian Buckley
Email: contact@dianbuckleymusic.com
Email: contact@ishineworkshops.com
Image Credits: Keturah Bishop Photography
