We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Dhayana Alejandrina a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Dhayana, appreciate you joining us today. What did your parents do right and how has that impacted you in your life and career?

My parents have done countless things for which I am eternally grateful. It’s difficult to pinpoint just one, but as I reflect on my childhood and the conversations they had with me to ensure I understood and valued myself, one of the things they excelled at was creating a safe space for me to be myself. You might wonder, what does that mean? It means that my parents were always honest with me about the world, both its light and darkness. They welcomed my curiosity and individual perspectives as a means to help me understand my voice and thought process. I’m thankful that they did this for me because it led me down a path of genuine appreciation for all aspects of life and, with that, the wisdom of understanding how interconnected we all are. I didn’t know it back then, but by creating a safe space for me to feel, ask questions, wonder, and simply be, my parents always supported me in getting closer to my love for creative expression – particularly poetry.

Dhayana, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?

I am Dhayana Alejandrina, an Afro-Latinx Dominican poet, speaker, mental health advocate, and writing mentor. I was born and raised in Santo Domingo, in a neighborhood called Simón Bolívar, and then immigrated to the United States with my mother at the age of thirteen in 2009.

My life in the Dominican Republic was a tropical adventure; it entailed electricity outages every couple of hours, Saturday morning ritual cleanings with the neighbor blasting bachata, church on Sundays, endless trips to Boca Chica Beach with the family, outdoor get-togethers with my friends, and volleyball practices at El Centro Olímpico Juan Pablo Duarte. Additionally, I spent a significant amount of time in nature. Although I lived in a small neighborhood with no ocean view or vast greenery, my parents ensured that I experienced what our beautiful island had to offer—most importantly, the life lessons.

Furthermore, both of my parents enjoyed creative writing; they were the catalyst for my connection with writing and poetry, which began around the age of nine. I remember the first time my dad handed me a birthday letter he wrote, containing poems and prose, and my mother’s sweet words written on napkins or pieces of ripped paper that she would give me randomly.

I was always journaling, writing love poems, and inspirational quotes. Writing allowed me to experience a different kind of freedom. This phase in my life was just the beginning of everything. Every challenge and lesson during my early years in the Dominican Republic taught me how to value the simple things in life and how to remain rooted in love and gratitude—something that helped me during my immigration journey.

For me, writing has always been a transformative journey of healing, discovery, and liberation. My writing is deeply infused with the vibrant culture of the Caribbean and the mindful approach with which I navigate this life journey. Through my essays, poems, and prose, I strive to contribute to the literary world and celebrate the diverse voices of our community. This is one of the reasons I decided to help emerging writers find their voice and connect more deeply with themselves to create stories and poems that reflect their authentic existence. I have been a writing mentor for over three years, and this year, I was blessed to have ten amazing, talented mentees who trusted me in a creative collaboration to help them get closer to their dreams.

I take great pride in my unwavering determination to persist, even during moments of doubt regarding my creative abilities. This persistence led to the achievement of publishing my debut poetry and prose collection, “Agridulce,” in 2021. Agridulce is a raw and vulnerable exploration, a dance of emotions that guides you through the pathways of human experiences and emotions.

“Do not be afraid of failing; be afraid of not believing in yourself enough to try. Life is a dance of experiences and lessons; do not forget that rejection is redirection.” – Dhayana Alejandrina

What’s the most rewarding aspect of being a creative in your experience?

The most rewarding aspect of being a creative is the knowledge that I have the power to share my perspective in the most authentic, vulnerable, and honest way possible. First and foremost, I would like to mention that being able to create and share my words with the world comes with a lot of inner work. I truly believe that our work is a reflection of ourselves, our healing, and our challenges. The more we connect with the root of who we are, our values, beliefs, and our vision for how we want to show up in the world, the more beautiful our work becomes.

For example, there was a time when, like many creatives out there, I doubted my work (both poetry and nonfiction) and couldn’t stop comparing myself to those on social media who had a bigger following or more engagement than I did. I used to ask myself, “Are my poems not good?” “What am I doing wrong?” or intrusive thoughts like, “Why am I even sharing my work?” “I shouldn’t even try to publish my book.” Again, these are normal thoughts that many of us have, regardless of our field. The critical part is what we do with those thoughts and where we let those thoughts take us.

During that complicated phase in my life, I had the following words come to me: “Do not be afraid of failing; be afraid of not believing in yourself enough to try.” I always go back to these words because they are a testament to courage. The courage of saying, “I am going to keep pushing forward and trying because lessons will come that will point the way towards areas of growth in my life or, perhaps, provide me with the clarity to shift my focus.” And that is what happened. I told myself that my work is important because it is important to me, and that there is always room for growth when we surrender to the lessons and shed the limiting thoughts of comparison.

Another rewarding aspect is being able to share the story of my ancestors, my land, and my parents. It is a blessing to be gifted with creative expression and to honor those without whom I wouldn’t be here. My writing is a reflection of the Afro-Caribbean Islands, the wisdom of my father, grandfathers, and their fathers, and the fire and love of my mother, grandmothers, and their mothers. I am a testament of love and pain, which is the balance that surrounds us all—the magic and flow of life.

Learning and unlearning are both critical parts of growth – can you share a story of a time when you had to unlearn a lesson?

A lesson I had to unlearn was the belief that my worth and identity were solely tied to my accomplishments. In 2020, I faced a significant challenge when I was removed from two of my graduate classes due to issues with my FAFSA application. This setback coincided with the beginning of the COVID pandemic, and I had just returned to the United States from Japan. It left me feeling lost.

For a while, I didn’t realize how I started to defined myself by what I had achieved, and this sudden disruption led me down a path of becoming a stranger to myself. As time passed, it became increasingly difficult for me to sit alone with my thoughts in silence, but it was exactly what I needed to do to rediscover my purpose.

I decided to stop running from myself and embrace all the neglected aspects of my being. I began asking myself, “What does Dhayana need to feel truly loved and at peace?” “How can I nurture these parts of me that feel hurt?” Who am I without my accomplishments? The clarity that emerged during that period was accompanied by tears, laughter, and profound solitude. In solitude and silence, I found my most valuable teachers, guiding me toward a deeper connection with myself and my inner child. I remember how great it felt to learn how to rest without feeling like I had to earn it first. Now, I am a believer that rest is part of the goal because rest is liberation. We are not machines; we are human beings. Our vessels continuously communicate to us what we need, but we must be intentional listeners.

Remember That:

1. It’s important to unlearn the belief that our worth and identity are solely tied to our accomplishments.

2. Facing challenges, especially unexpected ones, can be an opportunity for growth and self-discovery.

3. Taking time to sit alone with your thoughts in silence can help you rediscover your purpose and connect with neglected aspects of yourself.

4. Asking yourself what you need to feel truly loved and at peace and how to nurture the parts of you that feel hurt is a crucial part of self-discovery and healing.

5. Rest is an essential part of our well-being, and it’s not something we need to earn. It is a form of liberation, and recognizing this is important for maintaining a healthy balance in life.

Affirmations:

1. “My worth is not solely determined by my accomplishments. I am inherently valuable.”
2. “Challenges and setbacks are opportunities for me to grow and rediscover my strength.”
3. “I embrace moments of solitude and silence as they lead me to a deeper connection with myself.”
4. “I listen to my needs and prioritize self-reflection and self-care.”
5. “I understand that rest is a vital part of my well-being and is essential for my liberation. I don’t need to earn it; I deserve it.”

Contact Info:

• Website: https://dhayana-alejandrina.square.site
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dhayanalejandrina/?hl=en
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dhayanalejandrina/
• Twitter: https://twitter.com/i/flow/login?redirect_after_login=%2FDhayalejandrina
• Other: Thoughts on Life Newsletter on Substrack: https://dhayanalejandrina.substack.com/

Image Credits
Arely Davis Joe Boone Cindy Larkins