We recently connected with Dexter Eroen and have shared our conversation below.
Dexter, thanks for taking the time to share your stories with us today Was there a defining moment in your professional career? A moment that changed the trajectory of your career?
In November of 2018 I had a near death experience while rock climbing in Joshua Tree National Park. By this point in my life, I had been an eager student of climbing for close to 10 years. I had also been teaching and coaching climbing technique for 3 years. As much as I loved climbing and connecting with nature, I loved teaching and opening the door for others to connect with nature even more. I have been fortunate to connect with inspiring, thorough and kind mentors who have shown me the ropes, if you’ll excuse the pun, and I found great joy in paying that favor forward.
On that warm desert autumn day in November, as my physical wellbeing; my life as I knew it, faced catastrophic injury or even death, I was struck by an undeniable truth: my success in that moment; my survival, would be decided by how I responded to my fear.
I could say I got lucky that day, but to do so would discredit years of curiosity, reflection, and practice. It would discredit the following 6 years of coaching others and the great progress they have made. Perhaps there was a little luck in the air, but more than anything, there was a positive relationship with fear.
On the ride home to LA from Joshua Tree that night, my climbing partner and I spoke at length about what happened. We unpacked the steps I had taken to move through the harrowing circumstances. We talked about the effects of intentional breathing to calm the nervous system. We talked about the importance of keeping eyes wide open rather than shutting down or hiding. We talked about visualizing success rather than dwelling on the infinite potential failed outcomes. We talked about taking action, before it was too late.
When I got home I started taking notes, and a few days later I had outlined a workshop curriculum on building a positive relationship with fear. I presented it to The Stronghold Climbing Gym and they gave me the opportunity to present the workshop. It was a trial run. I wasn’t sure if anyone would show up, so I didn’t think to put a cap on participants. When the day came, I found myself sitting in front of 20 climbers, ready to dive in.
Of course fear came roaring in as I looked upon the curious crowd of climbers. I was struck by how familiar that moment felt to my experience in Joshua Tree, and it dawned on me how universal, how human, and important this conversation of fear may be. This was way bigger than climbing.
I was hooked.
I took a deep breath. I opened my eyes. I looked toward where I wanted to go, and I did it. It was time to be bold. It was time to practice what I was about to preach.
Dexter, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?
My GoBeyond process provides fear coaching rooted in the wisdom and modalities stemming from decades of wilderness-based survival practices in order to support individuals and groups on their journeys toward their highest potential. I, Dexter, have clients in the embodied space; athletes working on elevating their mental game so it matches their physical and technical abilities, clients in the corporate space; people who are working toward or have just taken on a new leadership position and want to work through any fears that come with that new found responsibility, and clients in the creative space; artists aiming to work through fears, pressures and expectations in order to reconnect with their creative flow.
Any stories or insights that might help us understand how you’ve built such a strong reputation?
On Saturday, December 9th, I ran the iconic 67.4 miles that make up the Santa Monica Mountains Backbone Trail in a single push. I embarked on this grand adventure with the goal of exploring my own process of dealing with fear as I stepped into the unknown and tested the limits of my physical and mental abilities.
While I do lead a very active life, embarking on many mountaineering adventures in the High Sierras as well as guiding hikes in the Santa Monica mountains as an instructor at a wellness retreat, previous to this goal I had only run a total of 13 miles in a day. Though the backbone trail was, by far, the longest stretch I had ever run in one consecutive push, I had scouted and run each portion of the trail. I had been daydreaming about tackling the entire trail in a single day for years, and as I have often told my students, “There’s no need to rush toward your dreams. Keep them in focus, and work to prepare. The day will come when your curiosity about trying outweighs your fear of failing.”
With this run, I called on my community to support me as I attempted this mighty feat. Touched by the outpour of love and encouragement I received, I wanted to pay it forward. The outdoors have always been a place for me to find grounding, peace of mind, and purpose, and I hoped to inspire others to find the same. So with this run, I partnered with and raised funds for the Angeles chapter of the Sierra Club, an organization creating opportunities for inner city children to go on guided adventures in Southern California’s great outdoors. When all was said and done (I completed the near 70 mile trail in 21 hours and 33 minutes) we raised over $3,000, in just under 3 weeks of planning, preparing and promoting!
Drawing from my training and experience as an avid rock climber, guide, and facilitator, I coach individuals and groups through the process of achieving their goals via building a positive relationship with fear. I took on this run as a student of the process in hopes to continue my education. This run was a practice of turning dreams into action and moving through fear, in order to better help those who are ready to reconnect with the joys and rewards of getting to know their own fears, and turning their own dreams into reality.
Putting training and knowledge aside, what else do you think really matters in terms of succeeding in your field?
I show up for people where they are, not where they or I or anyone, for that matter, wants them to be. I believe the key to my success as a coach is in my compassion and curiosity. I am human just like everyone else, and I experience fear just like everyone else. Often times when people find out I am a fear coach, they assume that I am some fearless being, moving through life with no mental obstacles in my way. But this couldn’t be further from the truth. I am in the trenches working through fears just like my clients are. My gift is in recognizing and sharing the patterns that work and guiding others through the process towards a positive relationship with fear. We are all in this together, and there’s no reason to take on the challenges that life throws our way alone.
Contact Info:
- Website: gobeyond.love
- Instagram: gobeyond.love
- Linkedin: Dexter Eroen