We recently connected with Dexter Conlin and have shared our conversation below.

Dexter, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. We’d love to hear about when you first realized that you wanted to pursue a creative path professionally.

Great question – I didn’t really know I was an artist until much later than most. It sort of revealed itself to me, and found me right when I needed it most. My sophomore year of high school, I was going through a lot in my personal life. I spent a lot of that time wondering why, and searching for answers that seemed more elusive the harder I looked for them. Writing definitely helped (I must have gone through 4 journals that year alone), and music put words to what I couldn’t verbalize, but art was my solace, not my outlet. “Surely I can’t make something as beautiful as THAT”, I would say to myself.

I was coaxed out of this creative hibernation through the gentle hands of my high school theatre directors at Fargo North, and mentors at Trollwood Performing Arts School. For the first time in a long time, I felt like my perspectives were valued, my presence made a space better, and most importantly, I was getting a glimpse at what I would learn more deeply in my college years – I am enough as I am.

This culminated in playing ordinary hero Cornelius Hackl, in the musical theatre classic Hello Dolly – the “ditch digger who once had a wonderful day”. That felt very resonant at the time! As silly as it sounds, his joy is what stuck with me most. I was somehow, through something bigger than myself, able to bring joy to others when my well was running dry. I was hooked, and I decided that I would pursue the arts as far as they would take me. Getting into Ithaca College (one of the top 10 programs in the US… me! A North Dakotan farm kid!) was the cherry on top, and I haven’t looked back since.

Dexter, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?

I’m Dexter Conlin, a NYC based creative hailing from Fargo, North Dakota. I am a storyteller first, with an emphasis on acting, singing, dancing, and film/digital photography. I aim to tell stories that bring people to a place of grace for themselves and the world around them – through beauty, joy, and reconciliation.

While the Midwest is my home, New York has brought me on a journey, and upon graduating with my BFA in Musical Theatre from Ithaca College, I have found myself working with Broadway veterans, world-class composers, and award-winning photographers. In addition, my self-written cabaret “Picture of You” was the maidan v*yage of putting my writing in front of an audience, and has inspired me to work on other projects that are now in development. Some stage credits (both NY and regionally), include Younger Brother in Ragtime, Jack in Into the Woods, Bert in Mary Poppins, and the upcoming Michigan regional premiere of Waitress the Musical as Dr. Jim Pommater.

My goal is to make meaningful moments with others – in the theater, in the studio, and on the page.

Looking back, are there any resources you wish you knew about earlier in your creative journey?

Something I wish I had known earlier is that in the age we live in, any person is just a click away. I’ve gotten jobs, collaborated with others, and met a mentor this way. So many times we talk ourselves out of things before they can even begin, for fear of failure, or being embarrassed. If there’s someone who inspires you creatively, or you think could be a good mentor, or even just someone you admire, send them a message. When I put myself in their shoes, and imagine getting a kind and intentional message from an aspiring creative, my immediate reaction is to want to help them – and I have a feeling this is more common than not. There are no rules written about how you have to pursue your vision, and inviting others into that vision is, I believe, what we are called to do as artists.

What’s a lesson you had to unlearn and what’s the backstory?

When I was young, I was convinced that what you do is only worthwhile if you’re the best at it. You play guitar? You better be putting out hit singles. You’re a painter? Your art should be winning contests. You’re intellectually gifted? You should be an A-only student. This sort of perfectionism not only destroyed my will to do pretty much everything (for fear of not meeting my perfect standard), but also tied up my identity with perfection in a really unhealthy way. I was able to keep up with this perfect version of myself in my head, for a little while. But all of a sudden, my best wasn’t good enough anymore. I “didn’t work hard enough”, and let myself down – meaning I only had myself to blame. This vicious cycle created shame and creative paralysis. Why bother if others will look at it as less than? Through my college years, I finally was able to start the journey of turning over this idea on its head – what if imperfections are what make things precious, even irreplaceable? When I held more loosely the idea of what my art should be, I was greeted by what it actually WAS. My acting teacher said something the other day that will always stick with me: “If all you’re thinking about is where you want to be, you can’t see the now.” Just start and follow your gut, because where you are is enough!

Contact Info:

• Website: https://dexterconlin.com
• Instagram: @dex.conlin
• Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/@dexterconlin

Image Credits

Rachel Philipson
Ron Heerkens Jr
Simon Wheeler
Dexter Conlin