We recently connected with Devon DuBois and have shared our conversation below.
Devon , appreciate you joining us today. Was there a defining moment in your professional career? A moment that changed the trajectory of your career?
I plan to take a slightly unconventional approach in answering this question- I’m going rogue. While society often emphasizes the importance of singular, life-altering events, (aka, the “defining moments” on our journey- whether it be a professional one or personal one), I believe the experiences that shape us are found in both the subtle, everyday moments, and in aftermath of distressing events.
Allow me to expand on those statements and make them louder and brighter before I delve into the personal pieces.
When I speak of day-to-day life and its glimmers (they are there if we look for them), I am convinced that it is the modest gestures of affection and goodwill that can influence how we see the world and how we view humanity. These expressions tend to leave lasting impressions on our hearts. It’s the neighbor who brings over a pot of pasta when we feel alone, the stranger who holds the door for you, or the family member who shows you unconditional positive regard and fights for you when you aren’t even in the room.
Connection, kindness, and empathy have a profound impact on our lives; reminding us that goodness does exist in our world. These moments can be defining; they are also worth holding onto and noticing. These acts of kindness have shaped the way in which I view the world. They have also influenced how I show up in the therapeutic environment (more on that later).
When delving into the subject of trauma (or distressing life experiences), it’s important to recognize that the event itself is only part of the story. Trauma is not just about what happened; it’s about what happens next. The aftermath, the support—or lack thereof—can significantly shape a person’s healing journey and impact wellness.
For those who have been tracking me thus far, I mention both ordinary glimmers and the experiences that follow distressing events because, in my life, both have been impactful. These moments have shaped who I am and how I sit with clients- they have played a vital role in my development (as a person, as a mom, and as a psychotherapist). I also want to highlight that a few of my “defining moments” are found in the “what happens next” part of my story.
Which moments am I talking about?
Let’s start with the lighter stuff. When I reflect on everyday moments that have touched me, I think of my son’s smile when he’s so proud of something he created, I reflect on my friendships (I remember the friends who were there for me even when it wasn’t enjoyable or easy for them), and I give thought to the sacrifices family members have made to ensure I have a more comfortable and connected existence.
The Unintended Lessons in Collaboration
I’m grateful for the insights I’ve acquired through collaborating with my colleagues and working with both couples and individuals. While it’s not my clients’ responsibility to enhance my understanding of relationships, attachment, and human behavior, our work together has profoundly impacted me. I grow as a clinician when people are brave and begin to share their story. It’s a very rich experience- one I hold near and dear to my heart.
“What Happens Next?”
Now for the heavier pieces. After my son was born, I suffered from a few life-threatening, medical complications. The events following his birth were both trying and hard, but what happened next, shifted my perspective.
People came together to support me. Although I was in the trenches, I was not alone. I vividly recall making a few notes from my hospital bed—a gratitude list. Among the things I noted were simple acknowledgments like “I am thankful to have water.” Many of my notes were centered around the relationships I cherish. I recorded each hospital visit from family and friends, every card or message I received from a loved one, the nurses who advocated for me (a special thank you to Neisha), and my dad, who slept on the small couch in my hospital room, so my husband could look after our newborn. I was grateful for community.
During my recovery, my brother would accompany me on walks around the hospital corridors. Many of my closest colleagues and friends visited me, offering their support and helping me make decisions about the future of my practice. My son was discharged from the hospital before I was, but I knew my husband, mom, and the rest of my village would nurture him.
These events shaped me- as a person and as an attachment therapist. It was evident (more than ever), that things are less scary when we have a safe-other by our side. Connection serves as a powerful source of healing.
As a psychotherapist who works with trauma, I recognize the importance of “what happens next.”
In the therapy room, I offer connection, support, and an attuned ear. It’s important to emphasize, not everyone has a support system or community- I want to normalize that. Not everyone has the “good fortune” of having a positive experience in the “what happens next” part of the journey. As a trauma-informed clinician, I want the people I work with to feel less alone in the world- less alone in their trauma. Perhaps their attachment figure had failed them during a critical time? Maybe they felt afraid or alone in the aftermath of a trauma- or during a traumatic event? For me, this feels like a call to action. I may not be able to change what’s happened in the lives of my clients, but together, we can change the way trauma lives in their body.
So here’s the lesson that I learned along the way: life’s inherent unpredictability teaches us that it rarely meets us on our terms. Instead, it nudges, challenges, and occasionally derails us, urging us to adapt, grow, and find meaningful and safe connections. When hardship is present, connection becomes our greatest ally.
Devon , before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?
I’m Devon DuBois. I am a heart-centered human and psychotherapist- I am native to SD (go Padres). Beyond my gig, I am an animal lover who appreciates traveling, cult-classic films, art, cooking, concerts, coffee, vinyl records, and family. I value kindness, integrity, empathy, and humor. I am passionate about seeking out the “hidden gems” when I’m traveling- I want to go where the locals go- but sometimes, I don’t want to be where the people are (insert, Disney reference). Some of my favorite destinations are: Japan, Ireland, Colorado, Yellowstone, and Monterey. Even though SOCAL has my heart, I am drawn to places like the Redwoods or Rockies.
I am an outgoing, introvert and an Italian (ancestry.com says 25 percent) psychotherapist- so penne for your thoughts? Jokes aside, I am a Certified Emotionally Focused Therapist and Supervisor (EFCT and EFIT), recognized by the International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT). I am also an EMDRIA Certified Therapist™ with EMDRIA, the EMDR International Association. My work is rooted in attachment theory and is trauma informed.
I have been a psychotherapist since 2011 and have been trained by some brilliant individuals in both the EFT and EMDR world. My initial traineeship during graduate school took place at the Training and Research Institute for Emotionally Focused Therapy in San Diego, where I had the privilege of working under the esteemed guidance of the globally recognized trainer, Dr. Lisa Palmer-Olsen.
In addition to EFT, I utilize the Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) model- helping people heal and develop more adaptive ways to move through life. Both EMDR and EFT are considered evidence-based practice; they are also relational and experientially driven. My approach to psychotherapy involves helping my clients have corrective emotional experiences, create deeper connections in their relationships, and have more capacity to live and thrive.
One of the biggest misconceptions about therapy is that psychotherapists are there to either (solely) listen or give advice. I want to debunk this myth.
What goes on in the therapeutic environment is much more collaborative and client-centered. While working with clients, I want us to have a mutual understanding of how we will journey together in our work. As a trauma informed/attachment therapist, I often work with individuals who have suffered from developmental trauma, PTSD, or attachment-related wounds.
About EFT
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a therapeutic approach that emphasizes the importance of emotional bonds in relationships. This model of therapy was developed by Dr. Sue Johnson and is heavily grounded in attachment theory. The main focus is on helping partners foster a deeper sense of connection and safety with one another. This therapy is particularly effective in helping couples navigate relational challenges by addressing their emotional needs and improving their emotional responsiveness to one another.
About EMDR
EMDR is a robust and comprehensive therapeutic approach that is relational in nature (thank you, Deany Laliotis, for developing Relational EMDR, or R-EMDR). In EMDR therapy, the work is centered around the client developing an adult perspective and new narrative around what really happened (in relation to past experiences that were distressing) so they are able to heal and have a clearer perspective in the present. Many of our past experiences underlie present day difficulties.
EMDR facilitates new learning by generating more adaptive experiences, allowing earlier memories to be better integrated into the client’s current life context. By activating and working through the memory networks where maladaptive learnings are stored, EMDR provides an effective path to healing from trauma.
As a clinician, I am committed to being a compassionate ally for those navigating the complexities of emotional, developmental, and relational trauma. It’s important that my clients feel seen, empowered, and fully understood. I work with both individuals and couples. I also supervise and provide consultation to clinicians who are learning the EFT model.
Topics I help with: I work with relational distress, attachment-related issues, developmental wounds, anxiety, PTSD, complex trauma, depression, and relational betrayals. I am here to help my clients begin to approach their inner world so they can assign an alternative (and more adaptive) meaning to their lived experience. I am also here to help facilitate connection, co-regulation, and secure attachment between partners.
Other than training/knowledge, what do you think is most helpful for succeeding in your field?
When starting a business or your own practice, one of the most valuable pieces of advice is: never say no to a coffee. Meet everyone and network. Relationships are vital, and having a sense of camaraderie can alleviate feelings of isolation on your entrepreneurial journey.
It’s important to prioritize learning within the field to avoid complacency and blocks for progress. Embrace the mindset of a lifelong learner. Continually seek out training opportunities and consider the benefits of undergoing your own therapy. Committing to growth and self-improvement can greatly enhance your clinical effectiveness.
And if you do solid work, they will come.
Do you think you’d choose a different profession or specialty if you were starting now?
Absolutely. I am quite passionate about being a therapist. I could not have picked a more fulfilling career. Psychotherapy allows me to form deep, trusting relationships with my colleagues. These connections are built on empathy, understanding, and genuine care. I also have the privilege of creating a safe and supportive environment where people can share their innermost thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment. This level of trust is rare and precious.
At the core of my work is the opportunity to help individuals heal from emotional pain, relational issues, and psychological distress. Witnessing clients transform their lives, overcome challenges, and achieve personal growth is incredibly rewarding. There’s something profoundly satisfying about walking alongside of someone on their journey to mental wellness and seeing them experience relief in a way they never thought was possible.
No two days are the same when it comes to clinical work. Each client brings a unique set of experiences, challenges, and perspectives. This variety keeps the work engaging and ensures that I am consistently adapting and refining my approach.
Every day, I am reminded of the resilience of the human spirit, the power of empathy, and the profound impact of listening with an open heart. Being a therapist is more than just a career for me; it is a calling. It offers a unique blend of intellectual challenge, emotional connection, and the opportunity to make a tangible difference in people’s lives. I am grateful for the privilege to do this work and for the countless meaningful moments it brings.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.devondubois.com
- Instagram: devon_dubois_
- Facebook: Devon DuBois, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, #87052
Image Credits
All Colors Photography