We were lucky to catch up with Deborah Brinckerhoff recently and have shared our conversation below.

Deborah, thanks for joining us, excited to have you contributing your stories and insights. Can you talk to us about a project that’s meant a lot to you?

I grew up in Vermont and have lived in SLC for 22 years. I have been married 27 years and have 3 children. I was professionally trained in painting at the Rhode Island School of Design, and have shown in exhibitions across the country. I’ve had formal gallery representation for 30 years but 3 years ago left the galleries to sell on my own. I’ve owned a fine art painting business for 25 years.

I’ve been drawing and painting most of my life, but over the last 15 yrs, realized that making art was more than a meaningful way to spend my time and explore my world – it saved my life. It gave me a safe way to tell my story without overtly revealing my truths to anyone other than myself. I could do so at my own pace, in my own way that was just for me – I was the only one I expected to understand what was being “said”. The more I was able to acknowledge and accept my own story, the more I was able to heal old wounds and traumas. These felt like mini visual memoirs that captured a part of my souls story – so I started calling them “soul portraits”.

As I realized the transformative power in working creatively, I wanted to offer it to others so that they could have their own healing experience. At first I offered workshops and individual sessions with people, but came to understand that I could positively impact a larger population if I recreated the same process I use in the form of a Soul Portrait home kit. I also offer the same process for individuals who would like me to help tell their personal story in the form of a Soul Portrait commission.

I have a special place in my heart for helping people who have been victims/survivors of trauma – specifically aiding those who are wrestling with the aftermath of sexual trauma. Offering one more tool to help people through the trenches is incredibly meaningful to me.

As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?

I was born and raised in rural Vermont and received my BFA in painting from the Rhode Island School of Design in 1992. I moved to Salt Lake City in 2001 with my husband and we have raised our 3 children (ages 14, 17, and 20) here. I have been a part of the formal, conventional art world for approximately 30 years where I was classically trained, showed in galleries across the US and Europe, and have sold my work both privately and through gallery representation.

When I realized that the most important part about painting had never been about gaining recognition or accolades as an artist, in 2019 I decided to leave the world of galleries and sell privately out my own studio. I felt that galleries created distance between me and my audience and I knew that I needed to focus more deliberately on CONNECTING, as this is a major theme in my work. For me, creating art is deeply personal and meditative. It gives me access to myself and is the medium that offers me the freedom to express every painful secret with unrestrained truth, without ever uttering a word. The people drawn to my work often have their own painful emotional journeys, and it is important to me to connect personally with my audience in as genuine a way as possible.

My fine art business, D Hake Art, is where I currently sell my personal pieces and commissions. I am currently expanding my business into selling “Soul Portrait” experiences where customers purchase a kit of art supplies, instructions, and an online course to create a personalized mixed media art piece. The course is designed to teach people how to creatively use personal objects, painting, and drawing as a way to intimately explore their history and deeper emotional selves. It is a healing activity that will help people process past experiences/wounds/trauma and connect more deeply to their true selves. The course is simple and the process is easy to learn and carry out, but the experience is deep and personally meaningful.

I am also commissioned to create Soul Portraits for others. A Soul Portrait commission is a custom artwork created by me that honors lived experience and captures the essence of one’s inner self. It goes beyond a traditional portrait by using personal and unique materials (letters, photos, journals, book pages, important documents, etc.) in the foundation of the piece. I then build on this with painting, writing, and drawing to create a full and layered visual memoir.

With the Soul Portrait course and commissions, I am creating something larger than myself or my own story and work, something that promotes a deeper connection to each other. By speaking openly about how my work helped me move through trauma, I am more proactive about inviting others to join me in telling their stories and encouraging healing. Trauma is universal and has its own language. My hope is that with more people sharing their personal narratives we can effect greater change in a non threatening way.

What do you think is the goal or mission that drives your creative journey?

When I was a child I was enchanted with the magic held by the pine forests that surrounded my home. It provided the perfect escape to distract me from my growing anxiety. Yet, their power wasn’t enough to shield me from the trauma locked in my body. With puberty, unacknowledged abuse started leaking out and calling the shots in ways I couldn’t understand. My beliefs of worthlessness and disregard for basic self respect began to dictate my choices and overruled the allure of the woods.

Later, attending a prestigious art school acted as a blessing and a curse. It allowed me to hide behind success and pretend I was something I was not, while also quietly nudging the secrets and lies closer to the surface. I was unaware of myself at a conscious level, but slowly my work began to reflect my denied truth until I was staring it in the face.

Over the next 3 decades, painting grounded me and provided an outlet where I could acknowledge my truth slowly and privately. Creative expression became a healing platform that enabled me to reconnect with my internal power, discard the need for external approval, and stop the cycle of abuse. I vowed to never play small again or compromise my truth for the sake of others’ comfort.

Now, an integral part of my creative mission is to bring light to the many ways we are all impacted by sexual violence and trauma.

What’s a lesson you had to unlearn and what’s the backstory?

Everyone is deeply impacted by their family of origin and what we learn growing up. For me, I received the message that there was something wrong with me, that I was not good enough, and that I needed to be something different from what I was. I had to unlearn my belief that I needed to be a certain way in the world to be considered good or valuable. I had to let go of seeking answers from someone other than myself and believing that I could not not be my true powerful self. I had to learn how to trust my inner wisdom and inner knowing first – not last.

It is especially difficult to step into your own power if you’ve absorbed and internalized messages of worthlessness. Once I truly understood that my well being and wholeness rested within myself I felt empowered to take the reins of my life.

This has translated directly into my work as an artist and a small business owner, because as long as I have thought of myself as “small,” powerless, and dependent on others, I have not been as successful as I would like. But as I step into my own power, my artwork, my business ventures, and my impact on others continues to grow.

Contact Info:

• Website: www.dhakeart.com
• Instagram: @dhakeart
• Facebook: Deborah Hake Brinckerhoff