We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Deb Porter. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Deb below.

Deb, thanks for joining us, excited to have you contributing your stories and insights. What’s the backstory behind how you came up with the idea for your business?

I was folding the laundry.

As I grabbed the next towel, my mind went to the chapter on imagination in the book I was reading. I thought, “If I can imagine myself doing anything, what is it I want to do?” And the thought came into my mind, “What if I LISTEN.” It was so strong. I get chills again now as I tell you about it.

At the time I was working at a funeral home, and my colleagues and I were told our compensation package was changing. I really loved the job. I was using my training and skills to help people through difficult times. But this change meant a financial loss I couldn’t absorb. I would have to make a jump to something else.

After the idea came so clearly, I knew I needed to take immediate action. I reached out to my friend Linda Nielsen, someone I knew could do ANYTHING because she can learn anything, and I knew she was a good listener. The next day, I messaged her to ask if she would build a business around listening to people with me.

I knew about myself, that I needed someone to build it with, and felt she was the one. Initially, she thought I was joking about the partnership. “You have this great idea, why me?” Linda didn’t quite see her amazingness in the same way I did. Thankfully, she said YES, and we started to plan.

The original idea was to listen to those who needed someone to really hear them.

I knew this was needed because I’d experienced the need myself during the 8 years I was caregiving for my critically ill husband. Family and friends wanted to help me, but they didn’t have the training in active listening and often tripped into pitfalls–and I ended up feeling worse.

Linda and I believed that I was not the only one that needed a professional listener. Not therapy, not a life coach just someone TODAY who would be present and hold the feelings with you.

Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.

My path meandered in ways I didn’t expect. At nineteen, I was called to help people. I “knew” that I would be pastor. I completed my undergrad and went to seminary where I completed my MDIV with a specialization in Care and Counseling. I thought my path was set. I was serving churches full time, and I was doing what I set out to do.

And then I was at a church conference meeting where there was yelling and disagreement about same sex marriages. I spoke up and asked if we could listen to each other, and was told to take a seat.

I watched my colleague be put on church trial–this meant it was likely that he would lose his ordination credentials, his pension, his livelihood. It pains me to remember. I felt it was so wrong. So unfair.

Not long after, a family member came out to me. I was folding laundry, and I asked myself, “If they ask me to marry them what will I do? If a congregant asks me?” And I knew the answer was yes. I knew it was time to exit the church. I focused on my family.

My desire to help people never diminished. HOLD is how I fulfil my life purpose today.

As the idea for the business grew, I knew it needed three pillars to be strong. I saw very early that we should offer listening to individuals. I also saw that people make up business, we could make an impact there. The third pillar I wanted to be Pay It Forward. I know that there are people who can’t afford to pay for an appointment, but still deserve to be heard. Trusting that eventually, I would find others who would understand the impact active listening could make on the world.

Linda and I realized that in addition to being heard, people also wanted to learn how to be better listeners. We added an educational component and the ideas flowed for courses.

I’m really proud of being able help to others and make an impact. There’s simply nothing better than hearing at the end of a listening appointment, “OMG, I feel so much better!” or getting an email from someone who has taken one of our courses saying, “I can hear you in my mind now as I listen to my child.” Knowing this means change is happening.

What’s a lesson you had to unlearn and what’s the backstory?

I grew up in a family where the message was, “If you can’t do it right, don’t bother doing it at all.” This message was debilitating and one that has taken quite some time to unlearn. Though I worked on that before beginning HOLD, the business has pushed me to let this go.

This is another way working with Linda has been so very good for me. She is an incredible life long learner, and expects everything to be a process. And she’s ok with that. She’s HAPPY with that (usually….LOL, we all have our moments, let’s be real.)

Any stories or insights that might help us understand how you’ve built such a strong reputation?

The answer to this question is simple. I’m an authentic human. What you see is what you get all the time.

When I show up at a networking call, I’m ready to listen. I’m happy to share my connections, I’m about listening to them and what they need.

When I mentor, I quickly hone in on what they need. It often surprises the other person just how fast this happens, simply because of my ability to hear beyond words. They communicate so much more than just words – body language, intonation, the things they don’t say.

When I present for a group, I see engagement and life during our Q&A time. I’ve been told that I was their favorite training.

Throughout it all, my focus remains centered on others, dedicated to helping.

Contact Info:

• Website: www.hearingoutoutlifedrama.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hearingoutlifedrama/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/hearingoutlifedrama https://www.facebook.com/HOLDBusinessSolutions/
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/deb-porter-4b599346/
• Twitter: https://twitter.com/HOLDListener
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/c/HOLDListens
• Other: https://www.tiktok.com/@hearingoutlifedrama

Image Credits
Rachel Foote & Marion Hinzman