We caught up with the brilliant and insightful De Andrea Blaylock Solar a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Alright, De Andrea thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. Do you think your parents have had a meaningful impact on you and your journey?
My mother was incredibly intentional with raising my sister and me. She bought us pretty gowns to wear as young teenagers because she wanted to emphasize the importance of doing nice things for ourselves. She wanted us to enjoy the act of taking a nice bath or shower and wearing something that makes us feel pretty for ourselves, not only saving those things for when we’re partnered. She also bought us Valentine’s Day gifts, a tradition we’ve continued. She championed showing love to everyone you care for, not just waiting until being in romantic relationships. She also taught us to love and appreciate our bodies as they are, not waiting until we’re a certain size or weight. Lastly, she created a safe environment for me to ask questions about sex and sexuality. If she didn’t know the answer to a question, she provided ways for me to find an answer and then discuss it with her. If I can be half the mother she is, I’ll be a wildly successful parent.
De Andrea, love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?
I am an AASECT-Certified Sexuality Therapist with a private practice where I work with adults as individuals and those in all types of relationships. In addition to therapy, I provide sex and relationship coaching services and pre-marital counseling.
A random conversation with a friend piqued my interest in sex therapy. While Seniors at Saint Louis University, we were walking across campus and discussing possible career paths. When I shared I wanted to be a marriage and family therapist, she explained she wanted to be a sex therapist. I’d never heard of sex therapy, but I knew it was something I’d want to further explore. While in graduate school, I took a Human Sexuality class taught by a premier sex therapist and felt drawn to the field. Shortly after earning a license to practice clinical social work, I investigated sex therapy certification and after lots and twists and turns, I became Missouri’s first Black AASECT-Certified sex therapist in 2021.
One thing that sets me apart is that I provide sex therapy from a Christian perspective when it’s requested by my clients. Although most of my clients do not ascribe to any particular religious beliefs, I am able to hold space for clients seeking to dismantle bad theological teachings so they can experience sex and sexuality without shame.
I have an old YouTube show, Ask A Sex Therapist, that I’m planning to revive this summer. However, I’m pretty active on Twitter and Instagram.
If you could go back in time, do you think you would have chosen a different profession or specialty?
I definitely think I would choose sex therapy again. However, I think I would attend a different graduate school that provided more classes regarding sexuality or provided an easier pathway to certification. I also think I would have pursued doctoral studies instead of stopping after earning a Master of Social Work degree.
Other than training/knowledge, what do you think is most helpful for succeeding in your field?
I think it’s important to have a lot of integrity and curiosity. With integrity, it’s imperative to prioritize doing the right thing when nobody’s watching. As therapists, we have to honor Codes of Ethics as well as maintain a progressive interest in new and developing modalities so we can best serve our clients. Staying curious can assist individuals in laying aside judgement in favor of genuinely wanting to investigate thoughts, ideas, and emotions. Operating in curiosity keeps the work interesting.
Contact Info:
- Website: SankofaSexTherapy.com
- Instagram: Instagram.com/SankofaSex
- Facebook: Facebook.com/AskAboutSex.LCSW
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/de-andrea-blaylock-solar-22814035/
- Twitter: Twitter.com/SankofaSex
- Youtube: Youtube.com/AskASexTherapist
- Other: about.me/d.blaylockjohnson
Image Credits
Nakita Anthony Gregg Richards