We were lucky to catch up with Danielle Shealy recently and have shared our conversation below.
Danielle , looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. Was there a defining moment in your professional career? A moment that changed the trajectory of your career?
Once upon a time, I was a young student midwife in the final stage of my apprenticeship. I had been called to a birth center that I was fortunate enough to be welcomed into during my time as a student. One of the midwives attending the birth had fallen ill. This birth center was an hour and 15 minutes away from where I lived. I was told if I could get there in time, there was a sweet mama in labor who had agreed for me to assist her in her delivery. I was so excited. I remember jumping out of bed to rush to the birth center unsure if I would make it in time. By the time I arrived, I was informed by one of the midwives that this woman in labor was getting close to pushing, and that English was her second language. She was now only speaking Spanish with difficulty understanding when we spoke. My heart sank for a moment. I remember thinking, ” How will I find a way to connect with this woman in labor? If she can’t understand me, and I can’t understand her, and there is no time to call in an interpreter!” So I went into the changing room, got on my scrubs, and thought. I prayed. Then the lesson my mother had taught me came racing into my mind, ” If that was me in there, and no one knew what I was saying; If I couldn’t figure out what others were trying to tell me; if I were in the most intense experience of my life; I would want a connection. I would want to know I wasn’t alone. I would want kindness.” I remember taking a deep breath before coming out of the changing room. I walked into the birth space. The sweet mama was laboring perfectly through contractions. I could tell we were close to the baby coming. The woman prayed in Spanish during her contractions, they were long and strong, and there was not much of a break anymore. I walked into the bathroom where she was laboring in the tub. I kneeled at the side of the tub, waited for a contraction to end, and then it happened. She opened her eyes, we made eye contact and I smiled the warmest smile I had ever mustered. I knew it was up to what this mama could see in my eyes and my smile that would tell her what I hoped she could sense. Even though we had never met, even though we could not understand each other when we spoke, she was cared for. She was safe. She was loved. She wasn’t alone. She mattered. I remember the senior midwife trying to explain who I was. I could tell the woman couldn’t understand everything but had picked up that I was there for the delivery. She smiled at me repeatedly and shook her head ‘yes’. She had agreed for me to come earlier when she was still able to speak and understand English. So from that moment on, until her baby safely arrived through a beautiful water birth, she and I, after every contraction would look at each other and smile, after every single contraction. This moment taught me the power of kindness and compassion. Even when a thousand things are reminding us of all the ways we are different, all the things that separate us. In a world full of ways to divide us, If we pause and look, we might see all the things that we have in common. That mama and I smiled at each other for hours after her baby was born in postpartum and throughout the newborn exams. By this time, her English had returned. But the eye gazes and smiles remained. This memory is something I carry every day at clinic and deliveries. This memory reminds me to find new and creative ways to connect with people, and especially my expecting families that are in my care. In the medical/midwifery field, compassion fatigue is in no shortage. I remember when I was a student and asked my mother( who is also a midwife), “How do I stay compassionate? How do I fight the urge to numb out when I’m overworked, malnourished, sleep deprived, and hearing the same complaints about aches and pains?”. My mother took a minute and thought when she responded, she said, “You have to pretend it’s you. You have to put yourself across the room and imagine that you are the one with the aches and pains. You are reaching out for help and resources from your midwife. Stay human, and remember we are always students of life. We will always be learning.”
As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?
As a second generation midwife, my journey with physiological birth goes back to the day I was born at home. It not only changed my mother’s life forever, but it also changed mine. I was the only one out of four to be born at home. About a year after my birth, my mother became a midwife’s assistant and starting working with one of the most influential midwives in the state. That led her into the passion and joy of midwifery. When I was a little older, my mother went back to school to become a midwife. She has been a midwife in practice for over 15 years, with 27 years of experience. Growing up I never would have imagined this would have been my calling. At the time I was in a Russian ballet company touring the world, midwifery and anything medical was not on my radar. At 17, I graduated high school unsure of my path. By 18, my mother convinced me to attend a few births. This changed my life and heart forever. I witnessed enpowered women, doing incredible things, with individualized support and love. I became a DONA certified doula to continue working on birth teams as I started looking into midwifery schools. I obtained my education at the National Midwifery Institute in Vermont, and graduated in 2018. In my apprenticeship, I had the great privilege of working with my mother Jami Morris LM, CPM, and Susan Smart LM, CPM,. My apprenticeship included both home birth and birth centers. Following graduation, I passed the national midwifery boards of NARM. I have been in private practice for 5 years. I truly believe being a midwife is the greatest job in the world. My life’s passion is dedicated to women’s health. It is my honor to be invited into one of life’s most sacred journeys with your family. I have watched my mother serve women, their families, and our community my whole life. I can’t think of anything more rewarding than this. My mother has been my role model in more ways than one, and we still work together to this day as the only mother-daughter team in South Carolina. My goal is to change health care in South Carolina. At LMLD Midwifery we are doing that one family at a time. The experience of pregnancy and birth has changed over the years, especially in today’s modern era. I believe that the need for caring, sensitive and traditional midwifery practices during this time are becoming more and more apparent. I see every pregnancy and birth as a miracle, and I feel honored to be considered to be a part of your new adventure.
Learning and unlearning are both critical parts of growth – can you share a story of a time when you had to unlearn a lesson?
This was a hard one. My journey as a midwife began with my assisting midwives in home birth as well as hospital deliveries as a certified birth Doula through DONA International. With a mother as a home birth midwife, who gave extremely high-quality care, assisting in the hospital setting was a challenge. I observed a great deal of unnecessary medical interventions, lack of informed consent, and often a lower quality of care. Overall, the birth space no longer felt sacred. The sacredness of birth and treatment of women was being experienced as a medical event fully run by an institution that benefits when things go wrong. (Can you see the bias already coming in?). Occasionally, I would assist a woman in the hospital with OBs for birth and she would have a great experience with compassionate doctors, but for the most part, it all started to feel the same, the good experience became the oddity. When a good birth happened, you made sure to write down the doctor’s name and be sure to spread the word about their care. It was at this point I had sent off my application for midwifery school. I had seen the difference in care, and I wanted to be a midwife who empowered women. It was only through my journey as a student midwife that I began to see how these physicians could start to fall into the “bias” that I had created. It was also at this point that I found grace for myself and other medical practitioners even if we did things opposite of each other. I had never had someone lie to me about medical information until I was a student. I had never seen the exhaustive amount of work and time you can spend educating a patient only to see them choose something different that is not safe in pregnancy that they found on Google. Some take a friend or family member’s advice that ends up harming them in the end. I started to experience what all care providers experience when things don’t go exactly as planned. If I had a mother in labor who had to transfer from a home birth or birth center to a hospital due to risk factors, I would wonder if there was something I could have done better or differently, or question if I should have been making better evaluations. I began to understand how easy it is to have reactive responses to patients when your last delivery had a complication. If you go on autopilot your care drops immediately. You are always “on” all the time. It rarely is noticed or appreciated. I also contemplated the sheer volume of cases an OB has, the extremely high-risk patients, the babies who are born from drug-addicted mothers going through withdrawal, etc. I never see those cases. I’ve never had to experience the daily life of an OB. This is when I was embarrassed at how harsh I had been even if it was only in my mind. I am beyond blessed to work with low-risk mothers and babies. I rarely have a complication that is not easily managed. My transfer rate is less than 3%. This means that more than 97% of the time, things go beautifully and according to plan. When I had the revelation that OB’s are doing the absolute best that they can and that they rarely get to experience what I am privileged to experience 97% of the time, my bias shifted into compassion and empathy. I realized these care providers went into the medical field for the same reason I did; to be a servant, and to care for others. Most OB’s would love to have an hour-long prenatal and get to know their patients, but they can’t. Most have a patient load of 15-30 patients a day, need to make proper evaluations, and somehow manage to chart and complete all necessary paperwork. At the end of the day, somehow try to turn it all off and be present when they go home to their families. Truly, I don’t know how they do it. I have more respect for OB’s than I ever have. My goal with every patient is to reduce the fear of the medical community and aid in creating a holistic integrative space. We may still do things very differently but our passions are still the same. The biggest conversation that should be going on is, “Does your care provider align with your goals?” There is a wide variety of OB’s who have different practice styles. There are many moms I refer to wonderful OB’s in our local area here in South Carolina.
What’s been the most effective strategy for growing your clientele?
Show up consistently in your integrity with every single client. Think about how you want your clients to feel. What do you want them to walk away with after working with you? Answer those questions and make a conscious effort to show up like that consistently every day. If you walk consistently in your integrity, people notice. I also like to exceed expectations with clients, so I will make sure to have added “bonuses” that I never discuss before beginning care. Examples of these bonuses are custom gifts and postpartum massages. I want women to leave my care and feel inspired to continue to take care of themselves as mothers.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.lmldmidwifery.com
- Instagram: @lmld_midwifery
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lmldmidwifery