We recently connected with Daniel Olexa and have shared our conversation below.
Alright, Daniel thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. Can you open up about a risk you’ve taken – what it was like taking that risk, why you took the risk and how it turned out?
Earlier this year, I decided to jump out of a perfectly good airplane for my birthday.
Skydiving has been on my ‘Life List’ for close to 30 years, but I up until this year, I left the box unchecked.
What I experienced and learned that day changed my understanding of human action and hesitation.
Anticipation of the jump was definitely driving some fear.(I’m afraid of heights, btw…)
In fact, my foot was quivering on the accelerator pedal of my Jeep as I was driving to the air field.
It was a disturbing feeling.
When the instructor from NorCal Skydiving interviewed me for my video, I told him I was “Nervous-cited.”
It was my way of creating a word that summed up my apprehension and eagerness all at once.
And I was good as the plane took off and we slowly climbed to jump altitude over beautiful Sonoma County, CA.
The moment of sheer terror arrived when the door of the plane opened at 12,000 feet and I knew I was going out of it in a few minutes.
Part of me was fine, the other part was saying, “Aw hell NO!”
Once my right foot was outside of the cabin, placed on a small metal strip (maybe 5″ x 24″) I knew I was committed, even if part of me was still hesitant.
And then, I was falling…and screaming at the top of my lungs…for about 5 seconds.
Then the fear disappeared. I stopped screaming and started laughing.
Falling at 120mph was an incredible experience. Freeing, expansive, and joyful.
We fell about 8,000 ft in 45 seconds.
Then the chute popped. The next 4-5 minutes were a glorious gentle ride as we floated down to Earth.
Looking back on the experience, I realized that while I was confronting fear, I was also battling a much bigger challenge: Trust.
Fear and Trust are like twins with opposing personalities.
We fear things won’t work out. We trust that they will.
Fear had me anticipating and hesitating, right up until the last minute, and for about 5 seconds of freefall. I was afraid I was going to die.
Trust had me confident that I’d survive and thrive. It took a lot for me to open to that idea, particularly 12,000 feet in the air.
When we align to our trust, we will discover our most powerful selves.
As I was falling through the sky, I realized the only thing in my control at that moment was my attitude.
It was possible that I could die if the system failed (see above).
If it did, I would have nothing more to worry about, and if it opened properly, we’d land as planned, and I’d have nothing more to worry about.
I decided at that moment to enjoy the ride and trust that everything would be fine.
That was the birth of The Trust Catalyst.
As I noted earlier, fear and trust are two sides of the same coin.
Every decision that brings us pause out of fear of what might happen next also has embedded in it the circumstances that will occur only if we move beyond fear and trust that everything will be OK.
I recently had wooden coins made to give to my clients to reminder of this: One side says, “What I FEAR holds me back.” The other side reads, “What I TRUST guides me forward.”
Since this jump, I’ve come to realize that fear keeps us living small lives based on our accumulated knowledge up to the moment of decision. If we listen to the fear, we’ll stay living based on our past.
Trust embraces a new future, potentially taking us into the unknown, where unlimited possibilities await.
My role is to catalyze the fear that has stalled my clients into trust so they can maximize their lives, transcending what everyone else says is normal.
Daniel, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?
I’ve always been intrigued by human potential and how we can be happier and more actualized.
Notice that I didn’t say “happier” there.
Happiness should come first, not as an outcome of an event. That’s been a huge learning for me.
I used to chase happiness when I worked in sales. Bigger checks meant more fun.
Slow months therefore meant frustration.
It was no way to live.
When I finally threw my hands up one day and literally walked out of my job, I discovered a sense of peace and freedom that had eluded me for years.
I finally figured out that I had been living an outcome-based life rather than just living and enjoying life.
I started living to create and help others do the same.
There’s a wonderful quote by Paulo Coelho that goes: “And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”
As I shifted from my sales/marketing career to what I call the giving professions to be of service to others, the universe did indeed conspire with me.
First by aligning me with hypnotherapy, and later when I was wanting to help my clients in a different way, it brought me to coaching.
It’s been a fantastic ride!
In April, I earned the credential of Master Certified Coach (MCC) from the International Coaching Federation (ICF). They are the Gold Standard of coaching by their creation of core competencies and a code of ethics for coaches to follow.
While it may seem like there are millions of coaches in the world (and that is probably an accurate assessment), there are fewer than 2,300 MCC coaches in the entire world, at this time.
When clients ask me what makes me different, I have an answer that shocks them.
“I don’t care about your problem. I care about you. My job is not to solve your problem, my job is to help you solve you. Once we understand who you are, and why you are choosing to be who you have been, then we can solve you. When we solve you, your problem will most likely disappear.”
I have a keen sense of intuition that comes into play in almost every session. I have an ability to hear what the client isn’t saying, or maybe what they’re avoiding…When I ask about what I am sensing, my clients open up and their transformation begins.
That can only occur in a safe space where the client feels absolutely no judgement from me, and knows that I have their back in fully supporting them to become who they want to be.
My company is named Transcendent Living. The name defines how my clients want to live: beyond what is considered normal.
To move from a transactional life (the normal) one must choose to risk stepping beyond their comfort zone.
Taking a risk opens us to new opportunities and can create change in us (transformation).
When we start fully living as our transformed selves, that’s when we rise to the top, living our dreams, transcending the normal and intentionally creating our lives.
My work is to help people who are feeling stuck in a boring, transactional life, but are dreaming of an exciting life, to free themselves from normal and start choosing listening to their inner champion.
Other than training/knowledge, what do you think is most helpful for succeeding in your field?
Deep inner personal work.
Coaches, really anyone in the giving professions, MUST take a hard look at ourselves and do the work to clear our inner turmoils, judgements, biases, etc, so that we can hold the space for our clients from a more neutral, but fully engaged energy.
The deeper we can go in our personal work, the deeper we can help our clients go in their journey to understanding themselves.
We can’t take shortcuts, attempt spiritual bypasses, or ignore our own healing.
If we do, it will all come back to bite us…typically at inopportune times.
Have any books or other resources had a big impact on you?
Many.
Black Hole Focus by Isaiah Hankel changed my life and was instrumental in getting me on the path I am now walking.
Daryl Davis’ TEDTalk about being the black man who was invited to KKK rallies deepened my understanding of just how important and powerful non-judgemental communication is.
Cari Jackson’s The Gift to Listen, The Courage to Hear brought me to a new level of listening and helped me to understand what I might be unknowingly bringing to a conversation – and how it could derail it.
The Courage to be Disliked by Fumitake Koga and Ichiro Kishimi helped me to fully realize how I’d been holding myself back out of fear, and how to embrace the risk of presenting myself with full authenticity. 
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.transcendentliving.com
- Instagram: @tlcoaching_
- Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/dolexa-mcc-ciht
- Other: Women Lead Radio, presented by Connected Women of Influence: https://connectedwomenofinfluence.com/women-lead-radio-daniel-olexa/ SUE Talk, There Are No Accidents In The Universe: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7BvrctnbRDY KTLA interview on life coaching industry: https://vimeo.com/776812579/f956890a0c