Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Conor Dubin. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.

Hi Conor , thanks for joining us today. Let’s kick things off with your mission – what is it and what’s the story behind why it’s your mission?

I started writing my book series after a phone call with a friend one night several years ago. She was going through a break-up and I felt sad for her. I started examining my own life and where I was with regards to relationships and I wasn’t particularly happy either. I started wondering if the pit falls and lessons I had learned along the way in relationships would be helpful teaching tools for others and I started researching the ways we teach children about relationships. It turns out, we don’t! Like … at all. There are really no stories for boys and the only story we teach girls is a fantastical princess narrative where the girl is always an orphan with no real passions or interests in life, she is surrounded by people that are jealous of her or competitive with her and there is usually an old person trying to do her harm. I figured there was an opportunity to change the narrative. I set out to write a series that would discuss healthy partnerships and the power of a choice directed life.

Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.

I started writing because I feel there is a void in our culture when it comes to showing children what a healthy relationship looks like. At best, kids can glean it from their parents if they are fortunate enough to have two parents that are together … and that get along well. Culturally, however, we are completely bankrupt. I wont name the celebrity, reality star, pop song, television show, you name it, that takes over the relationship narrative and further shapes a child’s perception of partnership. My book series started out as just one story, “Kate’s First Mate”, about a young girl named Kate who sails around the world with her Grandfather on their ship, “The Happy Marriage” and when her Grandfather retires, she sets out to hire her own first mate to help her sail. She soon finds out that finding the right first mate is no easy task. As the concept progressed and the ideas matured, I began exploring ways of tackling other subjects crucial to healthy partnerships like fear, love, empathy and gratitude. I never really set out to write a children’s book series, but as I continued to write, I realized all of the areas we are missing the mark when it comes to teaching children these important life lessons. I was also writing during a time when medical professionals were identifying a “Loneliness Epidemic” and I believe that our unwillingness or inability to teach children about all the necessary ingredients to healthy partnerships may have something to do with the growing loneliness epidemic in adults. I now have three books out, “Kate’s First Mate” , “The Adventures of Kate and Nate, Journey Through Jellyfish Island” and “The Adventures of Kate and Nate, Princess Arainee and the Search for Pet Hamy”. They are only available at my web site, www.katesfirstmate.com and I sign even copy.

Is there mission driving your creative journey?

Absolutely. I began writing my book series when doctors around the world had identified a “LoneIiness Epidemic”. This was happening simultaneous to the divorce rate hitting an all time high and deaths from diseases of despair hitting an all time high. I have a computer file on my desktop and every time I find an article on the effects of loneliness, I copy it into that file. I have 30 articles last time I checked. (I post them all on my web site as well) An article from “The Independent” in 2018 claimed that new research has found “loneliness may double a person’s risk of dying from cardiovascular disease”. They also reported that people who felt lonely were three times as likely to report symptoms of anxiety and depression. Another article from the 2017 Health & Science section of the Washington Post reported that “People who say that they’re lonely are more likely to have dementia and inflammation, and to die prematurely. And in research presented to the American Psychological Association …, Julianne Holt-Lunstad, a professor at Brigham Young University posited that loneliness is a bigger public health risk than obesity.”
Another recent study by a team at King’s College London “reveals measuring feelings of loneliness can be a strong predictor of developing Type 2 diabetes later in life. Researchers examined data on more than 4,100 adults over the age of 50. The British team suggests that loneliness doesn’t just have a psychological effect, it damages us biologically too. They theorize constantly feeling lonely impacts the systems which control stress and, over time, this can increase your risk for diabetic issues.”
But cardiovascular disease, diabetes, dementia and inflammation are just the apparent physical changes in the body. In a 2019 article from NBC it was reported that U.S. death rates from suicides, alcohol and drug overdoses reached an all-time high. This cultural sickness drives my mission to find the most creative way to talk to children about forming healthy partnerships, how to avoid or get out of bad ones and how to work towards a common goal. I think we have gotten here as a society because we are too afraid or don’t know how to bring up these topics to children and we are living with the costs of that now. My goal is to change that.

How about pivoting – can you share the story of a time you’ve had to pivot?

When COVID 19 and the subsequent lock downs hit Los Angeles, the last thing anyone wanted to do was invite an author to come read a children’s book series at their school. Schools weren’t even opened that year. I had always thought about getting a CFP Certificate (Certified Financial Planner) and that was the year I booked the course and studied for the exam. It’s about a years worth of studying followed by a 6 hour exam. The course covers accounting, investments, taxes, insurance, estates, trust and wills. I am so glad I had that year to study because I am not sure I would have sat for the exam and earned a CFP if not for COVID. The education has been an amazing resource in running my own business and I would recommend everyone takes the time to take the course and take the exam. Even if you don’t pass, the knowledge will pay for itself for the rest of your life and your family’s life.

Contact Info:

• Website: www.katesfirstmate.com
• Instagram: @katesfirstmate
• Facebook: katesfirstmate
• Youtube: Kate’s First Mate

Image Credits
Natalia Becerra Brandon Olterman