We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Claire Cetti. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Claire below.

Hi Claire, thanks for joining us today. If you had a defining moment that you feel really changed the trajectory of your career, we’d love to hear the story and details.

Assuming my becoming a step-parent in 1996 and having my firstborn in 1997 followed by becoming a parent twice more in the next five years is considered a career, my career as a young new mom was off to a busy start. It was something I had always wanted—to be a mom—and I was thrilled. At least on the outside, it seemed that way. But internally, I was struggling. Hard. Fast forward to July 2003. It was early morning; the sun shone through the dining room windows as the sheer curtains lightly blew in the soft wind. It wasn’t hot yet, but you could feel it would be as I stood in the archway between the living room and the dining room, watching the phone I just threw fly across the room in what appeared to be slow motion.
All the while, my mind raced in double the time, wondering what I had just done. What was happening? What did I do? The phone picked up speed to match my racing thoughts as it smashed against the wall and landed in smithereens on the carpeted floor. I then turned to my left and looked straight into the eyes of my 5-year-old, looking up at me. Time stopped and froze. The look on his face told me all I needed to know. I knew that look. It was the same look I once had as I looked at my mother in a rage when I was his age. I knew then. I wasn’t a mama who “cared” at that moment. I was a mama who scared. And if I wanted to have any real relationship with my kids, I was going to have to change this real relationship I had with rage.
This moment 20+ years ago changed the trajectory of my parenting journey, and I’m so grateful it did.

Claire, love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?

As a PCI Certified® Parent Coach and Positive Parenting Educator, also known as the Yell-Less Mom Coach, I have helped hundreds of parents struggling with frustration, anger, and yelling become calmer and more confident and create more connected families for almost ten years. I am also a stepmom/mom of 4 young adult children who have grown and flown and live in Santa Barbara with my husband and fur baby, Bella.

Why am I passionate about helping mamas understand their anger so they can begin to yell less and enjoy themselves and their kiddos more?

Because I don’t want anyone to stay stuck in the guilt and shame I lived in for so long as a mama who walked around looking like everything was great on the outside but struggled so hard with being overwhelmed, frustrated, and angry on the inside.

I know the struggle of being an overwhelmed mama who wants to stop feeling angry but keeps letting it out in unhealthy ways.

I know the struggle of feeling confident in my parenting decisions and wondering how much I was messing up my kids because of it all.

In July 2003, in that moment of rage, I couldn’t deny what was happening any longer. If I wanted to have the connected relationships I truly wanted with my kids, I knew I had to change my relationship with anger and rage.

I did not know HOW.

Fast-forward to changing deep patterns of people-pleasing, isolating, and avoidance, along with learning how to say no and understanding not only my needs but that I even had them!

I began to gain more confidence in myself as a woman, wife, mother, daughter, sister, and friend.

I found I could enjoy my kiddos and being a mother again.

What took me years to discover and change, using The C.A.R.E.S. Approach to Parenting™, an approach I created, along with proven Positive Discipline tools and techniques, I now show other mamas how they can change the patterns that are no longer serving them any longer create new patterns that do so that they can feel calmer and more confident on their journey.

The C.A.R.E.S. Approach to Parenting™ incorporates positive parenting, mindfulness, and awareness. It shows you how to move from being stuck in chaos, conflict, and power struggles to being IN a relationship with your kiddos and seeking resolutions from a place of connection instead.

I still use this approach and all the tips and tools I learned on my journey, which allowed me to create the deeply connected relationships with my children and the close-knit family culture I truly desired. I get to show other families how they can do it, too.
And in doing so, my heart is full. It truly is purposeful and gratifying work.

Putting training and knowledge aside, what else do you think really matters in terms of succeeding in your field?

I have a signature talk called “Breaking the Cycle: Turning Parental Rage into Entrepreneurial Resilience,” which I share with women in the entrepreneurial space. In it, I share three key events that changed the trajectory of my parenting and how these lessons I learned apply to navigating the entrepreneurial journey. They are:
1. Having a vision and a why is important in both parenting and business. This includes understanding your emotions when you get upset and navigating challenging times with a clear head, allowing you to respond rather than react.
2. Learning how to say no. Say no to things that no longer serve you, your vision, or your why so you can open the space to say YES to the things that do. This includes taking time to care for yourself well, which is essential in helping you keep the bandwidth and capacity to keep going when things get complicated. Because they certainly can and do!
3. Learning how to identify, set, and hold boundaries. Boundaries are essential to protect what you value and want and hold steady to what you are saying yes to serve you. All are key to helping you keep moving forward in your desired direction, which circles back to #1—your vision.

Have you ever had to pivot?

Yes. Before 2020, much of my business was in person, speaking, coaching, and teaching classes, and I was getting invited to more and more events and began traveling to speak. I loved it. Right before the world shut down, I decided to do a group coaching program for moms with kiddos under five. I was stretching myself here because it was “online” on a platform called “Zoom,” I had to teach the moms how to use it, as they had never heard of it before. Crazy right? Three weeks into this 8-week group coaching program, in March 2020, the world shut down. At the time, we thought this would be three, maybe four weeks. Luckily, we were already “online” and were able to keep the group going. It became quickly apparent this “situation” would last a lot longer than three weeks, and the mamas in the group started to panic. I suggested we keep meeting for support, but they said they couldn’t keep coming to the group as everything felt unsettling. I completely understood. I also understood this one hour the moms were still showing up for was likely the only hour they were getting to themselves these days, so I tried to encourage the moms if they were not going to continue with the weekly group, that’s fine but to promise and commit to themselves they would keep this one hour a week for themselves in some way shape or form as their self-care was going to be crucial right now. Doing this felt so overwhelming to them. So I decided to offer a monthly membership where we could meet 2x a month and have a FB we could stay in contact with. I had never done a membership before; it was a whim and pivot to offer these moms a lifeline in a challenging time. They all took me up on it, and it grew over the next couple of years. While it wasn’t a massive money maker, it was one of the most gratifying experiences I have had, showing up in a way these moms needed and wanted in such a crazy time.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.ccparentcoach.com
• Instagram: https://instagram.com/clairecettiparentcoach
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ccparentcoach
• Other: Free Facebook Group for Moms: https://www.facebook.com/groups/mamacaresfree
  Free Ebook: https://www.ccparentcoach.com/3reasons

Image Credits

@michelle.lee.photography