We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Christy Garcia a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Christy, thanks for joining us, excited to have you contributing your stories and insights. Was there a moment in your career that meaningfully altered your trajectory? If so, we’d love to hear the backstory.
During graduate school I was diagnosed with cancer, had part of my thyroid removed, got engaged, began to experience heart failure, had open-heart surgery to receive a new heart valve (1 month after getting married), and graduated all within 3.5 years! Needless to say it was a whirlwind!
Looking back on my experience, I wish someone had told me it was okay to slow down. To take a break, to rest, to take time off and to fully heal and process my grief and loss over the major health challenges I was experiencing.
Growing up, I always saw myself as an “overcomer.” I was born with a congenital heart condition called Tetralogy of Fallot and had open-heart surgery as a baby to repair the major defects. I never considered myself a “heart patient” as I (thankfully) wasn’t limited by it for most of my life. I had a normal childhood and was able to do what other children could do. In college I was very active, exercising for 45-minutes to an hour almost everyday. I studied music in my undergraduate degree with an emphasis in piano performance and music education.
When I developed a ganglion cyst on my right wrist, it didn’t stop me for long. I had to postpone my piano recital, but every weekend during the fall semester of my senior year, I faithfully attended acupuncture and chiropractic to reduce the pain in my hand (this was after having the cyst surgically removed at the end of my Junior year, and completing 6 weeks of physical therapy only for the cyst to return a month later during the summer). I even learned a few pieces for left-hand alone and incorporated them into my recital! Pushing through and getting to the other side became the theme of my life. I was a strong overcomer after all.
It wasn’t until graduate school that I began to slow down. Two months into my first semester of graduate school I got sick with a severe throat infection. It was only by a fluke that I got diagnosed with Papillary Thyroid Cancer. The way that it was presented to me was as if it wasn’t a big deal, nothing to be concerned about. “There’s a 95% chance it’s NOT cancer…many women have nodules on their thyroid and don’t even know about it” the ENT said. That 95% chance soon turned into a 15-20% chance that it could be cancer. But I couldn’t believe that I would be the 1 in 5 who had cancer. After all, I had earned the “immunity stick” for having been born with a hole in my heart, right? WRONG!
So, I pressed on…went to class, got the fine needle biopsy (results were “inconclusive”), attended my follow-up appointments and scheduled my surgery for a partial thyroidectomy – the week between the end of my Spring semester and the beginning of my 8-week summer intensive term! I only took 2 days off for my surgery. I remember calling my professor for the summer class and informing her that I might need to miss class that night due to a “minor” surgery. Ha! I did, in fact, attend class, but half-way through I thought to myself, “what am I doing here?” Of course I pushed through and stayed until the end.
I persevered, like I always do. It wasn’t until 2 weeks after the surgery when the surgeon was taking my stitches out that I received the news that I had HAD cancer – 3 mm. But the good news was that it was gone. However, I hadn’t paused to really take in and process what had just happened to me. A couple months later, after my summer term ended, the adrenaline died down and it hit me, “oh my gosh, I had cancer!”
But no one was there to meet me in my shock and grief. No one saw or acknowledged the trauma I just went through. I didn’t know I had cancer until I didn’t have it anymore. How are you supposed to process something like that? I requested to see a therapist through my doctor but got denied because I “wasn’t in crisis.” So, I paid out of pocket. I took out extra student loans to work through this thing that happened to me.
When I was in the hospital recovering from my thyroid surgery, the trauma from my open-heart surgery began to emerge. Laying there in the hospital bed, as an adult, I began to see 1 year old myself and understand just how vulnerable I was. That surgery opened my eyes to how traumatizing it must have been for me as a baby going through something so intense like that.
To me, my thyroid surgery was a breeze. Thankfully it really wasn’t that painful, however, unfortunately had a negative reaction to the anesthesia which resulted in severe nausea and an inability to stand up straight without the desire to vomit (and I did at one point, projectile vomit, all over my then boyfriend, now husband – true love my friends, true love!). However, being there in the hospital as an adult, seeing how difficult it was, noticing how uncomfortable I was in my body, I felt for my younger self given that a 1 year old has no way of understanding what’s happening to them. No adult mind to talk yourself through this very difficult, stressful and painful experience.
I returned to a previous therapist I had seen who was trained in EMDR – Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, a well-researched therapy model for trauma. It was the BEST decision I could have made! Through EMDR, my therapist, Laura, helped me begin to process the trauma of my first open heart surgery as a baby. By the time we were wrapping up my therapy, I had just received word from my Cardiologist that it looked like I may need to have one of my heart valves replaced.
I remember walking up the stairs to Laura’s office and getting out of breath as I sat in her waiting room. When she brought me into her office, I commented to her that I now had an answer for my shortness of breath. For the past couple years, I had been noticing that I would get out of breath, especially when I would go up a flight of stairs. Additionally, I was struggling to exercise for up to 30 minutes. I attributed my decline to being in graduate school, staying up late, having a boyfriend and being out of shape.
As Laura and I discussed my news and closing out my therapy, she asked how I felt about needing to have another major surgery. Thankfully because of our work together, I felt good about facing it and was ready to “graduate” from therapy with her. My heart surgery, although difficult and painful, went smoothly and I recovered very well from it!
Two years later, unfortunately my thyroid cancer returned and I had to go back and have the remainder of my thyroid removed. This time I was more prepared and planned to take a full 2 weeks off work to fully heal and allow my body to recover. I still didn’t “qualify” for therapy services through my insurance (even after open-heart surgery and a cancer recurrence!) so I had to pay out-of-pocket for my own therapy to continue processing my grief over these significant changes to my health.
These experiences have changed my very being. They impact me as a therapist and how I conceptualize my work with my clients. As a trauma therapist, I want to know and deeply understand what has happened to my clients so I can bring that into the work that we do. You may have been made to believe that the things you’ve been through aren’t a big deal, but perhaps, inwardly you feel like they are, and you’re struggling to make sense of the dissonance you’re feeling.
It’s NORMAL to have feelings about ABNORMAL experiences! It’s normal to feel shock, grief, sadness, anger, anxiety, etc. over a cancer diagnosis. Even if it’s highly treatable and survivable! Having an entire organ removed from your body is a big deal and it changes you! It changes the way you function and live life. Needing to have 6 month cancer follow-up appointments, tests, lab-work, on-going medication, etc is hard! Plain and simple.
After all my experiences, I chose to become trained in EMDR so I could offer the same level of treatment to my clients that I received while in graduate school. I feel very blessed to have experienced the deep healing and wholeness EMDR can offer. It’s a very special therapy model that combines our thoughts, memories, emotions and body sensations to help us make sense of the past, fully digest the difficult memories and reprocess them in a more adaptive way.
Christy, love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?
I originally went to college to study music. However, I found myself drawn toward listening to my friends when they were having a hard time and noticed that I had a heart and compassion for helping people who are hurting. People were always commenting on what a good listener I am. Additionally, I dealt with some mental health challenges of my own, anxiety, panic attacks, depression and PTSD. Over the years I have benefited greatly from my own personal therapy. I’m passionate about assisting others in experiencing healing and wholeness in their lives in the same way that I did!
As a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist I’m trained in the treatment of trauma and provide EMDR therapy in San Diego. I help individuals who are struggling with overcoming painful events in their lives by learning how to cope more effectively so they can find peace in the present and move forward with their lives.
The guiding principle that informs my work as a therapist is acknowledging that your struggles are unique to you and only you! No two people are the same, therefore, it’s not appropriate to apply a cookie-cutter approach to each person. I meet each of my clients where they’re at through a non-judgmental lens and build from there.
Instead of asking the question, “what’s wrong with you?” I always consider what happened to you that contributed to who you are; your patterns of thinking, feeling, behaving and relating. There’s a reason why you’re struggling. Let’s get to the bottom of it!
The clientele that I work most frequently with is adults who have suffered some form of trauma in their life, whether recently or in their past. I typically work with adults on an individual basis but also enjoy working with teenagers or couples hoping to improve their relationship.
I’m drawn to this population because I can identify with how difficult it is to overcome traumatic material and move forward in your life. Trauma can be complex. It can make a person feel like you’re going crazy. You might feel alone and misunderstood by those around you who haven’t experienced what you’re going through. Having been there myself, I’d love to help walk you through the maze to the other side.
Additionally, I have a special heart for working with fellow Christians. Growing up, there was this unspoken rule that as Christians we aren’t “supposed” to have any struggles, and if we did, all we had to do was pray and read our Bible and everything would magically disappear and become “happily ever after.”
Sadly, this isn’t reality as I experienced myself, painfully, as a young college student. Therefore, I’m passionate about working with those who have been struggling to get through their challenges, or who have been sold the lie that they’re somehow sinning or doing it wrong because they can’t seem to “snap out of it.” You’re not alone. It’s not your fault. And there’s hope.
*Although I’m a Christian and am able to incorporate faith-based values into therapy for those that request it, I accept people from all faith backgrounds and walks of life, and will not impose my own values on you as I am able to hold space for opinions, beliefs and values that are different than my own and accept you just as you are.*
Let’s talk about resilience next – do you have a story you can share with us?
My journey from graduate school to becoming licensed is full of twists and turns. As previously mentioned I experienced multiple health challenges, diagnoses, and surgeries. After graduating it didn’t magically get easier. My husband was injured in a car accident and unable to work for a period of time while he recovered. Because of this, we lived on a reduced income. While he was recovering, my cancer returned. At the same time, I had recently graduated, applied for my pre-licensed registration number and began looking for a job in my field. In order for us to survive financially I had to persevere and keep working. While I would have loved to slow down and focus more on my emotional recovery, that wasn’t a reasonable option at the time. Looking back on that experience, I have learned so much both personally and professionally in terms of what’s most important in life. Self-care is a priority. And self-care is more than just bubble baths and manicures. It’s financial stability, staying on top of all your doctor’s appointments, being outside in nature, nourishing your body and finding movement that feels good.
Learning and unlearning are both critical parts of growth – can you share a story of a time when you had to unlearn a lesson?
It’s okay to slow down! Life won’t come to an end of you take a break, withdraw, pause or pivot. You’re health, family and work-life balance are more important than your aspirations. If you don’t take care of your health, you won’t have a good life to live. This is what I’ve learned from going through all my health challenges.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.chulavistacounseling.com
- Instagram: christygarcialmft
- Linkedin: christy-garcia-marriage-family-therapist
Image Credits
Joe Garcia, photographer