We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Christopher Arlen. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Christopher below.

Christopher, appreciate you joining us today. Let’s start with the story of your mission. What should we know?

The Soft Skills Company works with nonprofit and governmental organizations to foster positive relational dynamics through facilitation, mediation, and skills-based training programs. We utilize the Listening Circle (as developed by We are Open Circle) practice to foment open expression, empathic listening, and attentive witnessing to unveil connection, meaning, resilience, and collective wisdom.

Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.

There have been a wide variety of factors and influences that have brought me to this point in my personal and professional life. These include the values my parents instilled in me, the growth opportunities that have been afforded me, and a profound affection for people that only deepened through my work in the nonprofit sector. I consider myself fortunate that I get to do work that I truly love.

The Soft Skills Company works with organizations to foster positive relational dynamics by providing facilitation, mediation, and skills-based training programs. We also work to promote resiliency by strengthening our clients’ adaptive capacities through listening-based circle practices. Our services are designed to move conversations beyond binary choices and entrenched positions. We rely on the Listening Circle Practice to achieve this aim.

The Listening Circle Practice, as developed by We are Open Circle, provides a simple way of unearthing the collective wisdom of any group. This practice allows for more open and authentic communication through deep listening combined with attentive witnessing. Rather than seeking opinion or agreement, we rely on storytelling as a means of identifying themes from which we find our collective values through our collective stories and our diverse experiences.

The Soft Skills Company is uniquely situated in the consulting and facilitation marketplace. Rather than simply offering bullet points and action steps, we hold space so that our clients have the capacity to harness the lived experiences of each individual so that they discover for themselves rather than being taught or trained.

Our methodologies are uniquely simple yet profoundly powerful. Our current work includes working to address diversity, equity, inclusion, and respect using The Listening Circle practice to identify shared values in this area. We also are using this model to develop a marketing and outreach plan for peer-to-peer emotional wellness. This model can be used in any setting or environment. When we build a strong foundation of listening, we find the way forward together.

What’s a lesson you had to unlearn and what’s the backstory?

I’ve had to learn how to get out of my own way. I’ve always considered myself to be a good facilitator and a strong trainer. I’ve had extensive training in this area and I get positive feedback from participants. As the person at the front of the room, with specific training goals and facilitation methods, I often felt that it was my capabilities that led to successful outcomes. And in some ways, this was correct. I’ve learned however, that the less it is about me, the greater space for emergence; what needs to come up will come up naturally and without effort.

Among the many things that I admire about The Listening Circle Practice is that it shifts this power. Rather than being the person at the front of the room, it brings the facilitator/practitioner into the circle as a participant. It is an experience that we share together. Instead of leading a group to any certain place, we walk, explore, and discover together. Rather than being a talking head figure, the facilitator is both storyteller and witness — on a level field with others in the circle.

When individuals take responsibility for their own participation, the learning is richer as it comes from their own experience. Given only a prompt, “tell us a story about a time when….”, participants are often surprised by the story that is unearthed from their lived experiences. In this process, there is an element of authenticity that is humbling to observe and empowering to experience.

Through this practice, I’ve learned to speak less and listen more. What I do now is much more than simple facilitation. I have become a practitioner and have made this simple practice a foundation for my work with clients. I’ve learned to take up less space.

How’d you meet your business partner?

My business model has been greatly influenced by my friends Adam and Miriam, the founders of We are Open Circle. It was by chance that we met. I was introduced to Miriam via email by a mutual friend. She and I had a few virtual meetings (before COVID!) to explore a nonprofit organization she was creating. We clicked and formed a friendship, even though we’d never met in person.

A few years ago, she told me that she was going to be doing a three-day training in Colorado and invited me to stop by on that Friday to meet in person and to introduce me to her business partner and co-facilitator, Adam. Not only did I attend that Friday session, I was so impressed by their approach to organizational development and facilitation, I attended the full weekend course. I immediately knew that what they were offering was unique and that it would influence the way that I provide facilitation and consulting services.

Since then, they have both become friends and mentors, generously giving their skills and talents for my personal and professional benefit. I continue to participate in their training programs and I continue to be amazed at the important work that We are Open Circle is offering to individuals and organizations. I am proud to be a consultant and facilitator for not only The Listening Circle, but their enterprise-wide platform, Beyond Listening. While they are not cofounders or business partners, they are my closest allies and inspiration when it comes to listening-based work.

Contact Info:

• Website: thesoftskillscompany.com

Image Credits
Christopher Arlen