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Meet Chris Elliott

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Meet Chris Elliott

May 20, 2024
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Sed ut perspiciatis unde.

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We were lucky to catch up with Chris Elliott recently and have shared our conversation below.

Chris , looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. Can you talk to us about a project that’s meant a lot to you?
The content I create and share online is the most meaningful work I do. As a biracial, queer, trauma and addiction survivor, I know life is not without its challenges. I also know most of us aren’t equipped with the tools we need to constructively manage the feelings triggered when experiencing those challenges. I was seven the first time I attempted suicide and carried the weight of that pain for decades more, not knowing my peace was just on the other side. I was twenty-nine when my abusive, alcoholic father died. True cause unknown, but safe to assume heart attack. His body was found decaying into sludge a week or so after he’d passed. It was the middle of a summer heat wave. I still remember the rank smell of death wafting out of the house when the Fire Department busted through the barricaded front door. The last thing I remember is guzzling down a few mini bottles of vodka before speaking with Sheriff’s Officers about possible cause of death. Days later my older brother and I returned to start clearing the house, which wasn’t easy since my father hoarded for years and abstained from any form of cleaning for even longer. As I hand scrubbed his dead bodily fluids out of the stained, hardwood floors, I realized that my life and my identity no longer needed to exist in relation to this man who’d left such a scarred, gaping hole in my heart. All the questions I longed to ask and all the resentment and hurt I ached to express – no was one there to answer or receive; and that’s when I realized I was free to write my own narrative. It took me another two years of spiraling further into my alcoholism before I started discovering new tools and understanding what my new story could be. But ultimately, I recognized my father’s death to be my own rebirth. A few years into my sobriety, and a couple years post 2020, I got an itch and angst to share and connect with anyone and everyone – I saw and felt so much hurt in the world and so many folks struggling to genuinely love themselves. Contrary to what most assume, I’m an introvert who’s painfully shy and can be quite socially awkward. I also grapple with crippling perfectionism and imposter syndrome. Thus, this project was born as a challenge to my ego in hopes of facilitating our collective healing and establishing a legacy of love and kindness for current and future generations.

Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.

I am a multi-faceted creator passionate about the healing power of kindness and radical self love. As a biracial, queer, trauma/addiction survivor, my positively unabashed way of being has cultivated a versatility and adaptability that’s supported successful stints in entertainment (from casting to production to talent representation) and consumer goods (from brand design to marketing to product development). I currently work as a project manager at a leading global children’s entertainment company and am wholeheartedly hoping to find more ways to help make this place a kinder space.

Learning and unlearning are both critical parts of growth – can you share a story of a time when you had to unlearn a lesson?

Unlearning negative core beliefs – that I don’t matter and nothing I ever do will be good enough – has been the most challenging yet rewarding undertaking on this journey. To be convinced as a child that you’re only an obligation and to be treated as an object, one isn’t necessarily set up to develop the strongest sense of self-worth. Compounded by subsequent, consistent experiences with abuse and bigotry, it’s no wonder self-loathing became the strongest undercurrent in my life. Some years into sobriety, and even more years into therapy, I’d realized that none of those negative core beliefs had to be true (and in fact, were never true); but most importantly, I’d realized that the choice was mine to make. I matter simply because I exist; and as long as I show up and try my best, every effort made is good enough. So now I choose, in each and every moment, for that to be my truth.

What do you think is the goal or mission that drives your creative journey?

I only hope to remind folks of their awesomeness. I know life is hard, but it doesn’t have to be. Sit in the discomfort. Process your feelings. Express the truth of your emotional experiences. Remember, the relationship you have with yourself is a microcosm of the relationships you have outside of yourself. Understand why you feel what you feel, and you uncover your path to healing. Act through love and kindness no matter how you feel, and you uncover your path to growth. Be a friend to you, without condition and with consistency, and you uncover your path to peace. Connect to your authentic truth, act on your passions, and contribute to doing the same for the community of spirits who share this lived experience with you.

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Jen Angkahan

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