We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Chloe Janowski a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Alright, Chloe thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. Can you talk to us about a project that’s meant a lot to you?

I’d say that my most meaningful project so far is my most recent painting: Artist and Muse.

In my early adulthood, I experienced several tragedies which weighed heavily on my soul. Without fully comprehending how these events would impact me long-term, I kept myself busy with art projects, volunteering, teaching, and more. However in early 2020, the ghosts of my past eventually caught up with me, and I started to question everything.

By February 2022, I came to the realization that time alone would not heal all wounds, and that I wasn’t going to “just get over” the things that I had endured. Instead, I decided that I was going to create art that addressed these taboo topics with the hope that by sharing my experiences, I could help change the world for the better.

With the guidance of one of my mentors, Cynthia Sheppard, I poured my heart and soul into Artist and Muse, a narratively-ambitious painting starring my original character, Ari Aedevane, which included over 120 artworks created between 2006 and 2022 illustrating my personal journey through loss.

Out of nearly 1,800 submissions worldwide, Artist and Muse was among the top 344 paintings selected for inclusion in Infected By Art 11, a juried collection of the best imaginative realism art in the world. Now that I’ve completed a critically-acclaimed painting that conveys the message that I want to share with the world, I finally feel like I’m heading in the right direction. Going forward, I plan to make more creative work related to my newfound mission as an artist.

Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers

I’m an independent artist, aspiring writer, and art teacher for kids and teens based in Austin, Texas. I’m primarily inspired by things like elves, nature, magic, and most recently, mental health advocacy and suicide prevention.

I’ve loved art ever since I was a child, and decided that I wanted to become a professional artist after a fateful field trip to a local video game studio when I was eight years old. Growing up, I was inspired by fantasy-oriented video games like The Legend of Zelda series, as well as anime shows like Sailor Moon, The Vision of Escaflowne, and Wolf’s Rain. This fascination grew into a passion for making art featuring elves and other fantasy characters.

Throughout my life, I’ve delved into many creative endeavors, such as drawing, painting, writing, making comics, 3D modeling, video editing, leading creative organizations, and game development.

Nowadays, I create and sell my art online, at events, and at various small businesses in Central Texas while also teaching art classes for young artists.

Is there a particular goal or mission driving your creative journey?

Absolutely, but let me first provide some more context as to how I discovered my mission.

In my early 20’s, one of my best friends posted an ominous message on Facebook, which I discovered one hour after its posting. Immediately upon seeing the message, I sent my friend a flurry of text messages, called him multiple times, and begged a local organization in his city to search for him. I received no reply, and it was later announced that my friend had passed away.

To say that everyone we knew was blindsided would be an understatement, and I delved deep into creating a memorial portrait in order to process my grief. This friend was particularly interested in New Age philosophies, so I pushed myself to create a vibrant, colorful piece using both traditional and digital media to illustrate these ideas the best that I could. Several months later, I finished The Starseed, which became a personal artistic milestone. While I was genuinely proud of what I had accomplished with The Starseed, I was secretly worried that I would never be able to create something quite like that again.

A few years later, I endured another suicide loss and realized that this was not merely a one-off incident, but a worrisome trend among the people that I cared about the most. Once again, I felt the pressure to make a new memorial portrait that was even better than The Starseed. However, I recognized that I didn’t have the technical ability nor the emotional fortitude to artistically express everything that I wanted this time around. It didn’t help that within a month of the death, I was bombarded with “life stuff” both good and bad, like getting laid off from my day job, going back to school, painting live at SXSW, teaching art classes, organizing a panel for a 3D graphics group that I was president of, and planning my wedding.

Once things had settled down, I eventually returned to the project, pushing myself once more to create Requiem for Paradise. I also committed myself to donating a portion of print sales from The Starseed and Requiem for Paradise to charities such as NAMI, The Trevor Project, and more in memoriam. Once again, I had created a painting that I was proud of, and once again, I was worried that my greatest art could only be forged in the depths of despair.

While I continued to make art, teach kids, and donate to charity, I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was a disconnect between the art that I was making and the impact that I wanted it to have on the world. It was awkward, to say the least, trying to explain to others that the “wolf moon” painting was actually about suicide. As many suicide loss survivors do, I blamed myself for not doing “enough” despite seeing the signs, and lived every day with this ever-present, soul-crushing guilt. I desperately wished that there was some way that I could go back in time and save my loved ones with the knowledge that I had now. Then, my creative side posed the strange and revolutionary question: “What if I did?”

With a newfound inspiration, I created my first original character in over a decade: a fantasy-style elf living in the mid-2000’s named Ari, who would become the mascot of my new mission: create art that will help those struggling in silence with a mental health crisis, and inspire others to take action in order to prevent more deaths by suicide. While I knew that, logically, it was too late to save the people that I had already lost, and that it would be impossible for me to personally comfort every other depressed person in the world, I still wanted to let them know that someone out there cared about them, and this is how I would do that.

I approached my friends, family, and mentors with this mission, expecting them to steer me away from this seemingly-impossible task towards a more predictable, commercially-viable path. However, I was surprised to discover that everyone I discussed it with, including some of my all-time favorite artists in the world, encouraged me to tackle the challenge. I was also touched to see that many people already connected with Ari as a character despite the fact that there was no “story” behind him yet. Now, the pressure was on. I had to do this.

Now, I’m writing a story in addition to making visual art in order to further my mission of mental health advocacy and suicide prevention. While it’s too early to say exactly what this story will become, I hope that it will one day turn into a comic/manga, novel, or even an anime series. Whatever it may be, it is my hope that it will be memorable enough to outlive me, and that it will one day sit with someone in their darkest hours, guide them back into the light, and inspire them to keep on living.

What do you find most rewarding about being a creative?

There’s this Irish aphorism that I learned recently: “Ar scáth a chéile a mhaireann na daoine”, which translates to something along the lines of “we live in each other’s shadows” or “we live in the shelter of others”. From what I understand, this is meant to describe the interconnectedness of our society, and how people can positively impact the world through unexpected ways.

People that struggle with depression and suicidal ideation often ruminate on thoughts like “everyone would be better off without me”, “my life is worthless”, or “I’m a burden”, which is simply not true. While it may be difficult to quantify, the influence that one person has on the lives of others can be much more significant than they can possibly imagine. I believe that the same can be said for art as well. I think that we all understand how a song, book, movie, or other creative work can speak to us when we need it most. Personally, I believe that it is my duty as an artist to create art that will not only express myself, but help others understand and express their inner selves as well. While I may never know if or when it happens, I hope that someday, something that I create might even save someone’s life.

With that said, I would say that there are two things that I find most rewarding about being an artist.

First, there is the moment when I am sitting at my art show booth or visiting a local business where my art is being displayed, someone stops to look at my work, their eyes light up, and they feel something. For them, the artwork transcends being a mere image on paper and becomes a concept, a feeling; a story. It is in that moment that I know that the countless hours of grueling work that I poured into that particular piece was worth it. That moment of nonverbal communication between the viewer and I is magical, in my opinion.

The second thing is when I have the opportunity to inspire others to create something new. Whether it’s a student excitedly showing me their latest breakthrough piece, a fan giving me fanart of one of my characters, or a fellow artist thanking me for helping them through artist’s block, I find helping others fulfill their potential, achieve their dreams, and create a life worth living to be extremely rewarding.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.chloejanowski.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chloejanowski
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chloejanowskiart
• Twitter: https://twitter.com/chloejanowski
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwRob_kxmaQH_NmjYQ9Iv4w
• Other: https://ko-fi.com/chloejanowski

Image Credits
Chloe Janowski