We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Chavali McIntosh a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Alright, Chavali thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. Risking taking is a huge part of most people’s story but too often society overlooks those risks and only focuses on where you are today. Can you talk to us about a risk you’ve taken – it could be a big risk or a small one – but walk us through the backstory.
Encouragement is my love language and always will be. Having a mentally disabled older sister led to me working with high-functioning, mentally challenged adults and troubled youth once I graduated high school. During my 20 years of active duty service, I served as an Aviation Supply Marine while volunteering for the “mushy” collateral duties to include Equal Opportunity Representative, Uniformed Victims Advocate, and Substance Abuse Counselor Officer. As a licensed hairstylist, I volunteered and provided Haircuts for Hospice and regularly lent an “ear” to clients.
I’ve always loved volunteering, and as I’ve gotten older, just like everyone else, life got in the way of things I loved but took for granted. I missed volunteering. I knew I could contribute while being consistent, but I hadn’t figured out how.
I’m motivated by a person’s desire to improve their outcome, especially if they’re an underdog. People count us out, and we often only need the encouragement of a trusted friend, a well-intentioned stranger, or (if I’m being honest) the pissed off-ness of a naysayer. I love to encourage the hell out of these folks in a matter-of-fact kind of way.
As a Marine and hairstylist (I completed cosmetology school while on active duty during night school), I had the next chapter of my life figured out. My retirement ceremony in December of 2017 was on a Thursday. That Saturday, I was in the salon and never stopped to consider anything else. Things stayed the same and worked well until December of 2019, when my life changed dramatically, when I decided to end my 16-year marriage.
A few months later, in March 2020, the world would shut down due to the Corona Virus and COVID-19. I was fortunate to be able to continue to work during this time without spreading or catching the virus. Later that same year, in September 2020, I founded Purpose On Purpose Foundation (POP) Inc.
I founded POP to stand in the gap for women at a pivotal time in their lives once they’ve decided to leave their abusers. This choice takes courage, support, and strength, which alone seems damn near impossible. So much so on average, it statistically takes victims approximately seven times to leave their abusers for good. Each return worsens their abuse and chance of survival. Children and pets add an additional detrimental aspect to the victims’ safety and situation.
In October of 2020, I moved my hairstyling business to Lemon Grove in hopes of advocating and serving within the community. I worked as an entrepreneur for the next two years while advocating for victims of domestic violence and fostering relationships throughout the neighborhood.
About mid-2021, I received guidance from the Holy Spirit to, “Be prepared to walk away” What?………. I was a successful hairstylist in a single suite, making great money with a three-month-long waiting list. I must have gotten that wrong; this is what I initially thought. Maybe it’s not about my hair business.
Over the next few months, little things started happening, while the Lord began revealing multiple things. For example, if I were still married, I would have never started my nonprofit due to the “no plan” plan and having no money to fund the nonprofit.
Ironically, sometime in September of 2021 (one year since founding POP), I got the “all clear.” The Holy Spirit revealed, “It’s time.” I tried to come up with something creative to tell my 70+ clients, but in the end, it boiled down to simply… “I’m retiring in December of 2021 to work on my nonprofit.”
Quite a few things were happening in 2022. I was exhausted and overwhelmed. During the summer, I placed POP temporarily on the shelf, out of sight but not out of mind. The storage unit I rented to store gently-used clothes collected from my hairstyling clients was broken into and stolen. The podcasts and forums I’d been a part of produced no leads. I even co-wrote a book to boost POP’s visibility and credibility. At the same time this was happening, I was becoming burnt out from helping people work through their issues.
In the fall, two people having nothing to do with each other asked me if I was a life coach. Wha?……. How can I be a life coach when my world got “turned, flipped upside down” and I was still figuring things out? The following “crazy” thing was that two different people (again having nothing to do with each other) recommended the same life coaching school when I’d only told two people I was considering becoming a life coach.
I applied to the recommended school but didn’t meet the requirement of having a degree. There’s that underdog thing again. I wrote a letter explaining my extensive life experiences and was accepted. After enrolling, I just knew things would pop off for POP by January of 2022. That was “my plan” and the furthest from the truth. My timing wasn’t the Lord’s timing. God had to work things out for His will.
I graduated from life coaching school in January of 2022 and was setting myself up for all the clients I’d have. NOPE! I did have a few, but once things started turning around for the better for each, they no longer wanted to continue. Honestly, I completely understood.
I kind of go against the grain, and I’m honest with my feedback. In the military, when asked, I would help others see a different view of why or how they could get promoted. They always got promoted, and I didn’t. I would help them but couldn’t help myself get promoted, which bothered me but never made me question if I should help or not. If I had a hairstyling request that damaged the hair, I wouldn’t do it. I also would tell my clients how to make their hair styling last between visits. In the competitiveness of the military, the hair and coaching fields, keeping a client on the hook for the services makes sense for some, but if it could help in any way, I always opted for less money or keeping it 100% with coworkers and clients. I’m convincied my work ethic is what allowed me to maintain my clientele when COVID-19 shut the world down.
I tried to apply what I learned in life coaching school, but it didn’t fit. Eventually, my relationship with the Lord was missing from my practice. See, unbeknownst to them, I often prayed for those who asked for my help, but I didn’t feel comfortable bringing up the Lord during sessions. But it felt like a betrayal not too. Another September and I finally leaned into whose and who I am as a believer of Christ and decided to brand myself as a Christ-centered life coach. I won’t preach at you, but I will say whatever the Holy Spirit places on my heart while keeping my “matter-of-fact” “girl, you have got to get yourself together cuz’ you got this“ vibe.
I learned so many things about myself while attending life coaching school. I did the necessary work I encourage my clients to do. While healing, I also realized I could help those needing help, because I’ve successfully navigated the trials and tribulations and keep moving forward while realizing, I must understand where Chavali ends and where the client begins. I can’t want the transformation more than them; not everyone is willing to do the necessary work to get there.
Now that I finally got my life coaching niche life together, I was like, “it’s about to go down”! NOPE, the same thing happened. I had Jesus sprinkled in our conversations, but they still left after feeling confident and empowered, leaving me with no reliable income. I am extremely proud of my clients that have experienced growth and departed more self-aware, but it was difficult not having the financial freedom I had come to enjoy.
Near the end of 2022, the Lord reminded me I got you. Always have and always will. I realized I’d maintained not needing anything for all of 2022. My pension and military disability were all I’d needed all year. I struggled when I was hard-headed (buying more coaching courses while making payments), but when I let go and let God do what He does, He always provided for and sustained me.
In January 2023, I finally understood. When beginning the nonprofit, I said it initially and wholeheartedly believed it but never applied it. I was always supposed to work full-time in Purpose on Purpose Foundation (POP) Inc. The Lord showed me how through Him, how I’d successfully paid for the legal fees for structuring the nonprofit, allowed me to continue making payments with no salary to pay for the Trademark, while thriving during the year long inconsistency of coaching. I now see I can do what He purposed in my heart for the individuals that would come to know him and advance His Kingdom because of Purpose on Purpose. Talk about having a purpose!
Once I let everything else go and became full-time, it all made sense. I had to go through my season of less, defeated, disappointed, and stripped down to the basics, solely depending on, trusting, and listening to God. Once I did, it became clear that without housing established first, there would be no ladies. I needed to pivot POP’s goals to accomplish the larger vision.
While it’s still overwhelming, being full-time and having one hyper-focused goal instead of multiple areas of focus is different yet beneficial. Plus, I’ve got my uber joy back for POP! Great things are starting to happen! We’ve gotten some corporate interest, leading to more relationship-building opportunities. We also received donations that went directly to an administrative platform for a year which helps tremendously and consolidates multiple roles.
Purchasing housing for the ladies of Purpose on Purpose it’s an audacious goal, especially as a newbie, but I’ve got the Lord as my advantage! The new website is up, and we’re expecting the necessary funding to purchase the housing for what will be none as POP HQ! Keeping in mind there can be no domestic violence survival residents without housing.
Chavali, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?
As a self-proclaimed Ambassador of Hope, I’m a champion of the underdog. Encouraging others motivates me while their transformations bring me extreme joy. As a Christ-centered life coach, President, and Founder of Purpose on Purpose Foundation (POP) Inc, I help others see what’s possible and how God sees them, which helps improve self-esteem and allows them a start on their path to healing and empowerment.
Purpose on Purpose aims to become an intricate part of a survivors success story by providing women determined to reclaim their lives from domestic violence with a year of transitional housing by creating commUNITY through connections with compassion and dignity.
I founded POP to stand in the gap for women at the pivotal moment in their lives when deciding to leave their abuser. POP wants survivors to strategically plan their escape knowing that compassion and dedicated support await them. Without transitional housing, many won’t leave or become homeless, as domestic violence is the leading cause of homelessness for women (and children).
Let’s talk about resilience next – do you have a story you can share with us?
After deciding to end my 16-year marriage, I realized I had a 2nd chance to rekindle my passion for volunteering. As a mom, wife, and Marine, I‘ve always focused on others, not myself. The divorce upset my entire life, forcing me to re-evaluate and recalculate based on my needs and desires, which I may have never done. My divorce was the necessary catalyst for my spiritual and mental growth. Additionally, I would have never founded my nonprofit to help domestic violence victims on the road to healing and independence.
Can you tell us about a time you’ve had to pivot?
Contact Info:
- Website: https://fullofpop.org, https://chavalihopemcintosh.com
- Instagram: https://instagram.
com/fullofpop - Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/fullofpop/
Image Credits:
Carina Fleckner Photography (desk photo)