We were lucky to catch up with Charell G. Coleman recently and have shared our conversation below.
Charell, appreciate you joining us today. What’s the kindest thing anyone has ever done for you?
One of the kindest things anyone has ever done for me is give me a hot fudge sundae. YES! A literal hot fudge Sundae! When I left for college, I left with a huge hole in my heart. In my senior year in high school, my mother was killed which left my two siblings and I motherless. Mommy was a gentle spirit, meek, and her smile would light a stadium. Her greatest quality was her ability to forgive others no matter their transgression against her. These characteristics were always admirable to me and remain so today. While in college, I met a friend and coworker who would almost do anything to see me smile. As, it is often you find me without a smile. On a lunch break, my coworker asked what I would like from McDonald’s. I gave my order and said, “oh yeah, bring me a hot fudge sundae to go with that.” When my coworker returned, the hot fudge sundae looked more like a cup of ice cream and maybe one small squirt of hot fudge. I politely stated, “Wow! They must have forgotten the fudge.” I went into the office and began to eat my lunch. As I finished, my colleague entered my office and said, “Is this one better?” Immediately I responded with a huge smile for several reasons. The first reason was it was then I realized that someone would inconvenience their day to be sure I had the perfect sundae, just the way I like a fudge sundae (just a bit of ice cream and a super helping of fudge)! It amazed me that someone would do this for me. As I began to eat the sundae that day, I couldn’t help but think of how this sundae was a metaphor of Mommy. The tiny bit of ice cream represents Mommy making herself small to allow room in the cup for others to have the space, the clear plastic cup represents the transparency in her smile. She always wanted others to be happy, and she truly would sacrifice herself for the happiness of others. The fudge represents the extra sweetness of her love for people in all shapes, sizes, and forms. Whether you fit in a crowd or not, she would open her arms to you. She never closed her heart to anyone, so I never put a closed lid on my hot fudge sundae. In it’s own way that day, the hot fudge sundae metaphorically gave me the comfort of my mother’s love. I am still grateful for that day my friend and colleague offered the kindness of picking up lunch for me. I still indulge in a hot fudge sundae with extra, extra, extra fudge at least once a year!
Charell, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?
My journey into the world of storytelling and literacy began with the challenges I faced growing up in a household affected by addiction. Amidst the chaos, I found solace in words, turning to journaling and reading as a means of escape. The power of manifestation became my guiding principle, shaping my creativity from a young age.
In high school, I started crafting stories, creating characters who mirrored the resilience I sought in my own life. Using a simple copy machine, I shared these tales, hoping to bring smiles to those who felt lonely. These early experiences sowed the seeds of my passion for storytelling.
As an adult, I channeled this passion into a business, driven by the desire to provide literacy in a way that resonated with young readers. Witnessing my little brother’s struggle with reading, I recognized the need for inclusive narratives, especially for children of color. I made it my mission to fill this void by infusing my stories with themes of love, resilience, and triumph over adversity.
My proudest achievement is the ability to transform entire communities through initiatives like Author Talks at schools globally and working with community and recreational centers. These endeavors not only promote literacy but also foster a love for reading, empowering children to see themselves in the stories they read.
What sets me apart is the deeply personal connection I bring to my work. My stories are more than just words on pages; they are a reflection of my own journey and a source of inspiration for others facing challenges. Through my unique approach, rooted in empathy and understanding, I aim to provide not just books but a pathway to hope and imagination.
Let’s talk about resilience next – do you have a story you can share with us?
Oh, absolutely, I’d be happy to share a story that illustrates my resilience. You know, my journey, as you just heard, has been far from easy. Growing up in a home filled with the chaos of addiction, my siblings and I faced challenges that most kids couldn’t even fathom. But somehow, amid all the pain, I learned the art of resilience from a very young age.
I was just a 9-year-old girl when I realized that our situation was broken, but I couldn’t afford to break down completely. My siblings were looking up to me, relying on me. So, I turned to a simple diary and a pencil. That journal became my sanctuary, my safe space where I could pour out my dreams and fears. It was a place where I could imagine a better life, a life filled with normalcy, love, and stability. Back then, I had no idea that this humble journal would become my lifeline, my tool for resilience.
In those pages, I didn’t just write about my dreams; I manifested them. I pretended in my writing that everything was already well, that we had all we needed. This imaginative storytelling became my source of strength. It helped me play through the pain, creating a mental space where I could be a child despite the harsh reality.
School was another haven for me. Learning came naturally, and writing was my forte. I knew I had to change the narrative not just for myself but also for my little brother, who struggled with reading. Writing became a way to address his challenges and others like him. It led me to a career in education, where I could make a difference for students facing learning difficulties.
During the pandemic, with the world on pause, I had the opportunity to reflect. I read about the social injustices and crises facing our world, particularly the issues of literacy and trauma. And it hit me — these problems were interconnected. Literacy could be a tool for resilience, a way to heal the wounds of trauma. Armed with this knowledge, I decided to focus my energy on finding proven methods and resources to help others heal and become more resilient.
The connection between writing, literacy, and resilience became crystal clear to me. Just as my journal had been my lifeline, I wanted to provide similar tools and resources to others, especially those who, like my brother, felt lost in the world of education. My experiences, both the struggles and the triumphs, have fueled my determination to make a difference, to be a guiding light for others facing similar challenges.
This journey has taught me that resilience isn’t just about enduring hardships; it’s about finding the strength within ourselves to rise above them. It’s about turning pain into power, using our experiences to fuel positive change, not just for ourselves but for the entire community. And through my work, I hope to inspire others to discover their own resilience, to find solace in the power of the written word, and to know that no matter how difficult the circumstances, they too can overcome and thrive.
We often hear about learning lessons – but just as important is unlearning lessons. Have you ever had to unlearn a lesson?
Whew! Unlearning deeply ingrained behaviors is no small feat, but it’s a transformation that’s incredibly empowering. For me, the lesson I had to unlearn was breaking the cycle of people-pleasing. It felt like I had to say yes to everyone and everything to be accepted and loved. I watched my mom do the same; she was this incredibly kind and selfless person, and I thought that’s what made her so loved and respected. But as life went on, I realized that trying to please everyone only led to my own misery and, just like my mom, it brought me great grief.
I remember a turning point for me was realizing that people-pleasing wasn’t rooted in love, but in fear. The fear of not being liked, the fear of abandonment, the fear of not measuring up. And through therapy, I discovered the deep-seated fears that were fueling this behavior. It took a lot of introspection, accepting my vulnerabilities, and learning to stand my ground.
Developing go-to phrases, facing fears head-on, acknowledging my weaknesses, and embracing my strengths — these were all steps I had to take to break free from the people-pleasing trap. It was the greatest learning to learn that not everyone will understand or agree with my choices, and that’s perfectly okay. It’s about being true to yourself, being your authentic self, even if it means disappointing others, and being able to on an island sometimes! I found out that time alone has been one of my greatest gifts to myself.
It’s funny how life challenges us with these lessons, right? They shape our character, and define our resilience. In fact, when speaking to large audiences , I often refer to myself as a “Recovering People Pleaser.” Wearing this title is powerful. Embracing our authenticity and standing firm in our decisions, even if they’re not what everyone desires is ok. Ridding old cultural and social patterns, and stepping into the fearless individuals should be our true destiny!
Contact Info:
- Website: www.leadandink.net
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/charellgcoleman/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CharellGColeman
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/charell-coleman
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/CharellGColeman