We recently connected with Carrie Levine and have shared our conversation below.

Carrie, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. If you had a defining moment that you feel really changed the trajectory of your career, we’d love to hear the story and details.

The year was 2006 and at some unmentionable time, my pager sitting on my nightstand beeped.

I felt irritated to have my sleep interrupted.

I called the woman who was trying to figure out whether or not her water had broken and if labor was imminent.

I could hear the tone of my voice talking to her. I sounded irritated.

Reluctantly, I got out of bed, found my clothes without turning the light on so as not to disturb my husband and left for the hospital, all the while hoping I didn’t wake my sleeping children.

In that moment, I knew. I knew it was time for me to stop attending births. I knew I was bitter about having to go to work in the wee hours. I knew I didn’t feel like I was being a good mom to my kids because I either a. wasn’t there or b. was tired when I was there.

I asked myself, who are you serving by keeping this up? You are cranky at work and you are cranky at home. You don’t feel like you are doing a good job in any part of your life.

The answer came quickly: No one.

I felt like an utter failure – at work and at home. I wasn’t present in either place. I had only been a midwife for 7+ years. Other women were so much tougher than me, being midwives for decades. I couldn’t do it.

As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?

In that moment, I began to look for other work and a position at a world-renowned women’s health clinic called Women to Women, which was located in Yarmouth, Maine, opened up. I applied. It was there that I found language for all I had understood about health previously, through the language of functional medicine. I trained and got certified. After about 7 years there and listening to many midlife women, I began to look at the longevity of my career and thought to myself, if I am going to have the balance I want between work and home, I have to start my own practice.

In 2013 I started my own women’s health practice where I practice conventional gynecology and functional medicine. I do routine annual exams for women and address issues related to hormone balance, gastrointestinal health, chronic diseases of lifestyle, and even provide wellness care for women with cancer. Functional medicine is the medicine of why, looking to get at the root cause of underlying physiology that drives women’s symptoms. It is also a food-first medicine, so I focus a lot on nutrition and lifestyle. I incorporate conventional medicine as a woman desires or is warranted.

Can you share a story from your journey that illustrates your resilience?

My daughter, Isabelle, passed in a car accident on June 8, 2018. She was 15 years old, vibrant, and healthy. Her passing called into question a few of my previous held core beliefs, like “ask and it is given.” At the end of every one of my journal-writing sessions, I closed with “please keep my children safe and well.” I have a 24 year old son, too.

Also, my belief “everything happens for a reason” blew up the day she passed because I could not create a rationale that justified her passing.

I have had to completely reconsider life – why ‘bad things happen to good people,’ where do we go when we die, is there a non-material reality where souls live? I’m still reconsidering…

I returned to work, part-time, 2 weeks after her passing. I love my work and felt grateful for intimate connections with women, being able to help others, and a distraction from my own deep pain.

I wrote, walked, read poetry, cried, spent time laying on the earth, and ultimately feeling charged with the responsibility for living my life to the fullest in her honor. Because she can’t. Because she wants that for me.

Other than training/knowledge, what do you think is most helpful for succeeding in your field?

Listening. Being present. Being kind. Responding.

It’s incredible how just listening, just being present, and just being kind are healing. Women seeking health care are generally not accustomed to these qualities.

I’m also stymied by how effusively grateful women are when I simply return a phone call personally and in a timely way.

The health care system is that broken that such simple acts are deeply moving and healing for people.

Contact Info:

• Website: carrielevine.com
• Instagram: carrielevine.cnm
• Facebook: Carrie Levine CNM
• Linkedin: carrielevine.cnm

Image Credits
Photos of me : Jenny Mayher Photo of book in grass: Leda Werrell, NP