We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Carolyn Walker. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Carolyn below.

Carolyn, appreciate you joining us today. Are you happier as a creative? Do you sometimes think about what it would be like to just have a regular job? Can you talk to us about how you think through these emotions?

Being a creative…. so many layers to this title. So many obstacles one must face. Rejection from the left and the right. Days where you only have $1 to your name. Your car breaking down after a last minute canceled gig (you arrived at the clients home to only be told they canceled). Your mind begins to wander. Am I supposed to be here? Were those people right, that being a MUA is just a hobby. How can I afford my materials? Photographers taking you for granted and dismissing you, like you are nothing.

Of course, that thought runs through my mind quite more often than I realize. I see other friends in their 9 to 5’s or their more consistent free lance jobs and I wonder, maybe I should do that too. I especially think about that idea of a 9 to 5, when money is extremely tight. When we as artists have our calm seasons. Some days you are able to make thousands of dollars, while others days you are barely getting by. The tolls!! Do not get me started on the tolls that I have accumulated.

I am a single mother to two young amazing boys. I am a full time student working towards my Bachelors of Science in Industrial Organizational Psychology. I am in year 3, almost finished!! I come from extremely humble beginnings. My parents separating when I was 3 years old. Watching my mom struggle to make ends meet. My father, no where to be found until I became 8 or 9 years old. It was tough. I hated seeing my mother endure all the obstacles she faced. Even up until now, I can see the damage it has done.

I always knew I was and am an Artist. Thriving in art class, while my other major subjects got neglected. I come from a family of abuse. Art was my escape. My rescue. I created my own world through art. As I got older, still very little money, I was bullied heavily. Shopping from the church’s donation box or my mothers friends kids donate pile (which I have turned to love even until now). We could barely even afford buying shoes from Payless shoe source. We always shopped at the thrift store (again, I absolutely love thrifting). But at that time, I could not fathom the idea of buying used items. Why could I not be like the other kids, getting the freshest shoes? The latest toys. Heck, we finally got a computer (HP) when I was half way through my 9th grade year. It was so daunting during those times. Being bullied on a regular. My father turns out was a beautician. From what I remember he was in the military, army. Then he transitioned out and went to school to get his cosmetology license. What I did not know then, was that my dad was battling depression. He was diagnosed with manic depression and bi polar. I believe that to be true, for that is what was told to me.

With his shift to the beauty world, he brought me with him. I suppose, the military was a rough time of his life. My father battling his own sexuality and at that time, being accepted as a homosexual man was shunned upon. I suppose that is why my father disappeared for a bit of time from my childhood. I will never forget that day, as he walked away from my mom and I. Or the day he attacked my mom so violently, she nearly died.

As a child, we truly want the acceptance from our parents. To be seen and loved. I felt my father to have changed. He seemed more calm. I began going to work with him in the salons. Watching him and his interactions. I was 13 when my father bought me a bag of dollar store makeup. Man was I thrilled. I dived heavily into this world of beauty. Wanting to feel what it would be to be labeled as beautiful. I never heard that growing up and I so desperately desired to be desired.

Years would go by, the dollar store makeup forgotten. I was 18 by this time. A new donation of makeup and my first born later. My mom received a box of lightly used makeup. Foundations, eyeshadows, eyeliners, it was so amazing. I watched YouTube videos on my small little Samsung slider. It is as if the world changed for me. Professional makeup, now in my possession. I began to volunteer to do anyone’s makeup, whomever would allow me to. I went to the library, borrowed beauty books. I stumbled upon Scott Barnes!! It was him who changed it all for me. His methods and techniques. I studied and studied until I became confident.

You see, I never thought I was beautiful. I never thought I was enough. But somehow, I fell upon where I was supposed to be right at the exact perfect timing. I saw makeup as a way to share my love of art and help others see the beauty within themselves. Woman began to see what I could do and would then seek out my expertise. Which would turn into my own business. I began to work more often with my father in the salons, where I networked and shared my skill of makeup. Now, do not get me wrong, I was a shy little thing. I, so very insecure. My father had to push me to really put myself out there.

I got better and better. Life will always throw you lemons. Sometimes with tools, sometimes without. During the calm times in business, I of course daydream of what it could be with your traditional way of working. I decided on my degree, when the pandemic hit. When us as artists got shut down. No money or support until months later. I wanted to have a well rounded palette, for if we were to go through a pandemic again, I can potentially be prepared. I am realizing that we can have it all. Meaning, a regular job isn’t terrible. I love what I do. These opportunities have allowed me to see that the world truly is your oyster. We can make it all happen, even without nothing. It is your grit. That is all you need. Your grit to see you through.Your faith, your faith in knowing that you were created for a reason. I do not know where I am going, nor would I want to see the future ahead of time. I love the organic speed that has been guiding me all this time.

Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers

In my previous response, I dived into how makeup for me came to be. Makeup fell into my lap as my therapy. Growing up in poverty truly forces you to become creative in everything. Creative on how you cook your typical ramen noodles, adding eggs and spices to it. Or your government block of cheese, turning it into a magnificent grilled cheese there ever was. I come from a family of poverty and abuse. It seems that there was more sorrow than joy growing up. We did not have much. My mom, a single mama working 2 to 3 jobs at a time, no rest.

Art was always my escape. My therapy. I could create my own world without any limitations. I never felt beautiful. Hardly heard anyone tell me otherwise. I would see other girls in my school, the popular girls with the pretty dresses and long beautiful hair. I always wondered what it would be like to be like them. To have all the gazes and adoration. It was in my preteens, I guess you can say, that I got exposed to the beauty world. My father buying me cheap dollar store makeup. Man that was so amazing. Finally, I can make myself feel pretty. Well, that wasn’t exactly how it turned out. I dabbled too much into blush, the shimmery grey eyeshadow, and heavy eyeliner! Whoooo, if only I had pictures back then. I remember going into school, feeling so proud, but in return became bullied even more. I was called a clown. Snickering behind my back.

Fast forward to how I became a MUA, was in my late teens. I got blessed with another donation of makeup, but this time it was high end. It would be different this time. I studied, went to the library, watched YouTube videos. I became better and better, until people started noticing my gift. I began partnering up with my father, him a hair stylist. I would network with women for their special engagements and weddings. I wanted to show women how beautiful they are. To let them know they are enough and that it was ok to put a little makeup on here and there. Makeup got the misconception of false beliefs. Women should not be wearing makeup, labeling them as not worthy women.

When working so closely with women, you really get to see their insecurities. You see how they view themselves. You see their hatred of who they turned out to be. It becomes a therapy session. Some clients more open while others are so aggressive and rude. They take it out on you when it had nothing to do with you at all. Some women wanting to take their looks and blaming you if their vision is not created. When in reality, they despise themselves.

I love who I am. I love that I can joke around a lot and not take things so personally. I love that I am an empath and I can feel peoples energies and do what I can to put them at ease. I love that I can make them smile. My favorite of makeup is the clients reactions. You see, I do get judged as an artist. Some other ethnicities give me a hard time and when they see what I can do, they take it back. They look at me with a new lens. I love that, even at that moment, I do begin to doubt myself. When a client is taking it out on me, however, I have learned to not take things so personally. I am so grateful for my time being bullied. It gave me thick skin. It allowed me to see people from a more loving angle. They behave this way not because of me, but because of how they view themselves.

For me, when you leave my chair, it is my hope that I have reminded you of how beautiful you truly are with or without makeup. I want to hear about you, your story. I want you to feel better than how you were before we began. I want you to know that you matter. You have always been enough. That there is no one like you.

Can you share a story from your journey that illustrates your resilience?

In the beauty world, there was a time that MUA’s (Makeup Artist) were look down upon. Thanks to social media now, we get more praise and awareness. I remember when I began, I said I would not be going to college at this time, I want to be a MUA. My father was all for it. My mother, this timid little thing, truly cared what others thought. She supported me behind closed doors, but in public she would agree with others, makeup is just a hobby. I would need a real job.

It was hard back then, to really get yourself out there. IG was only coming around and FB was, to me, like entering high school all over again. The judgement and ridicule. I was afraid of really putting myself out there. I was afraid of being laughed at. But I got over it, especially when I realized this could bring me more than I ever fathom. Not only the money, but the exposure to the world that is out there. I come from poverty and as a MUA, I got introduced to worlds that you could only see in magazines. I began sharing my experiences and people started to take a liking too. Of course, it wasn’t all that easy. So much rejection, betrayal, and disappointments. Friends become enemies. Photographers would treat you like scum beneath your feet. Do not get me started on bloggers. Expecting something for free, when others would pay them for their time. Bloggers for the most part expected you to offer your services for free and in return would potentially give you exposure. Which was not always the case. Now, do not get me wrong, when you first start out, there will be times where you will have to accept gigs for free or receive a lower compensation. But you will get to a point in time in your growth, that you can decide what will be best for you and you business.

More so, when you become a house hold name, which took so much grit to become. I remember how photographers would treat you like the scum off of your shoe. Embarrass you in front of the client, making you feel stupid. Treating you like a peasant. Some clients, doing the same. Yelling at you, to fetch them their belongings. Or more so, smile to your face and say “I love it”. Behind your back say how incompetent and horrific you truly are.

You need thick skin in this world, no matter what it is you decide to do. You must muster enough grit to know who you are. Because you will be challenged. You will be placed in situations where they want you to fail. But it is up to you. to allow that to happen. You must advocate for yourself. Know what you stand for and what you are willing to take.

What do you think is the goal or mission that drives your creative journey?

Coming from humble beginnings, it allotted me with a unique perspective on life. It gave me the chance to be creative from the start. When you are not given all the supplies that one may need, one must be imaginative when inventing a solution. For example, when I first became a Makeup Artist, I could, not afford all the ideal supplies that I needed. I knew I needed access to expensive items and I knew I needed to get it. I would walk into the MAC makeup store, befriend some of the gals genuinely and ask if they were ever in need of an assistant. I would offer my services for free at first and build up my relationship and in turn they would allow me access to their employee discount. Once I gained my bearings and confidence, I applied at MAC, but got rejected. I applied to Sephora and was hired right away. Little did I know at that time, but God blessed me to be right where I was supposed to be. I had access to all the amazing high end products and was allowed to take samples with me after my shift. We even got employee gratis from different brands, giving me access to products I could not even afford at that time. I was able to gain more exposure to different walks of life and became more familiar with providing excellent customer service. Time would go on and show me that my time at Sephora was about to expire. I needed to get myself out there. No more hiding behind the shadows.

This experience showed me that I had what it took to achieve any goal I placed. At that time, being a MUA was laughed it. But through resilience, I paved my way.

My goal, is for myself, to know that I will always show up for myself. True beauty lies within. It begins with you. You have the power to achieve all the goals you put before you.

Contact Info:

• Instagram: Makeupbycarolynwalker
• Facebook: Carolyn Walker
• Youtube: Pink Fryzz

Image Credits
For the other photos not of me, they are by Roy Cox. Roy Cox Studios.