We were lucky to catch up with Carolina Ramirez Espinal recently and have shared our conversation below.
Alright, Carolina thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. Let’s jump back to the first dollar you earned as a creative? What can you share with us about how it happened?
Blessings, sending lots of love to all worldwide. My first dollar earned as a creative was via a very generous man and his wife. The painting was titled “HOME” and it sold for twenty dollars. When I would go pick up my kids from the bus stop this man would always stand there to wait on his kids as well. One time I was a bit late to pick up my kids, which was going to turn into a whole chaos if it wasn’t for him as the bus driver wanted to call the police and accuse me of neglect, this very kind man said no one is taking those kids as long as I am here, there mom is on her way she would never leave her kids, I did get to the bus stop and thanked him from the bottom of my heart.
Two weeks passed and there was a big house fire. It turns out it was the home of that kind man and his family. Two weeks later I saw him and his wife having lunch at an art expo I was having and I thanked him again and told him that I was sorry for what had happened to his home. The painting “HOME” caught his eye and he told me of how he wished he had a house to call a home and that he wanted to purchase the painting, I told him he could have it yet he wanted to pay for it, I said just give me what you can and he left me a twenty. I hope he got to obtain that dream house.
In regards to thespian work my first dollar earned was in a series full of thrills, purple fire, great weather with an exciting super hero and special cast and crew in “Naomi”.
Now, if we really want to take it back my first creative position was with Valenti’s Bakery at the age of fifteen. There’s something about making your own bread, baking yummy cakes and letting the smell enter your senses, tho I was only a cashier I found it to be a very creative position one of which I could observe, learn and greet wonderful loving customers, I was the only one picked for that position from my whole high school and it made me feel not only special and needed but privileged and honored that the teacher saw so much work ethics implanted in me at such young age and God only knows I needed the position and earnings because everything I made went towards my mami to help her with light, water, rent, bills and my brothers and sisters as I am the oldest a lot of responsibilities fell upon me at that time.
As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?
My grandfather Arcadio Hilario Espinal immigrated to the U.S.A from the Dominican Republic. In his life span he managed to bring over more than fifty others from the family including myself and others after his death. I recall stepping out of the airplane at the age of seven and landing in Newark, NJ on a Winter night with just a sweater, my mami very happy because after a separation of four years we were finally together, this little three year old big head boy who is my brother lol, lots of snow and super cold. I told myself after that scary plane ride I have no idea where I am, I do not speak the language but I am just going to go with the flow and give it one hundred percent my all in all I can, fast forward years later and the flow and one hundred percent has brought me to where I am today with dual citizenship hoping to get one from a place that starts with an S, someday ;).
I am extremely thankful for the United States of America this is the land where dreams come true depending in which state you decide to reside in because you could be in American and be poor yet not as poor as in your born country. I feel very angry at the world sometimes I can only imagine what an “illegal immigrant” goes through, I personally believe there is no such thing as an”illegal immigrant” we should all have the freedom to go to any place on Earth as we shall please with the appropriate measures taken in place. I pray every day for all the human beings trying to make it day by day leaving a country they were born in due to there not being any opportunities in that country and being born into very poor circumstances whether you are from Africa, Mexico, France, Dominican Republic, South America, China, North America, India I stand by you and only God knows why things happen. It is best to do things the right way yet it is extremely difficult when you are extremely poor and the consul will not give you a visa opting for illegal measures.
Self discipline, intuitive intelligence, a lot of perseverance, speaking even if my voice would shake, speaking even if I possess an accent, focusing on my strong points and what do I bring to this situation has brought me here today along with a great team of excellent teachers, family, co-workers, professors, mentors, an excellent chain of command and many others who added a little bit of sand to this beach :) I have been brought down many times this version of me was not given. Each bit has been earned through a massive amount of hard work, dedication, cold, sweat, mindfulness, putting on my blinker hat as I call it and just focusing on what’s infront of me without thinking about the past because it’s no longer there and the future because it has not come yet.
I played the violin in elementary school, it was my way of escaping I had a great teacher Ms. Zakin. Once I was getting ready to apply for high school I wanted to attend a performance arts high school.
I had to decide to audition for Violin or Drama. I was told that a violin would not pay for my meals and roof over my head. Knowing what I know now I would have auditioned for the Violin then and bettered my skill and taken my other classes, since I had already endured hunger playing the violin and taking my other classes wasn’t going to make much of a difference and I regret not taking that risk yet I ask myself would I have been here if I would off.
Sometimes what we really want may not be what we really need. I must say my mami supported me very much too even tho she never went to one of my violin performances she would hear me practice and never told me to keep quiet lol
I instead auditioned for the Drama aspect and I got rejected. I felt awful, I thought to myself I will never amount to anything even though I excelled in my schoolwork and knew that I had other options I felt like a failure all I thought was I want to be somebody else I don’t want to be me. I didn’t recall my lines and I froze in front of the stage. Up to this day I will not participate in theater as I have theater phobia yet I would go observe and enjoy a marvelous show. In the present moment when given the opportunity for film I made sure to brush myself up and try to never make that same mistake again.
A week passed and my cool friend at the time Lamar got into the violin program,I was so happy for him. I hope he is doing well today. I’ve always loved libraries, one day I was in the school library and I read a sign that said East side High School R.O.O.M academy I figured since I will not be going to the performance High School I mines well audition for ESH Renaissance of the open mind (ROOM) academy. I recall a lot of people say ohhh if you go to ESH you will amount to nothing, it’s a terrible High School only those that are not smart enough go there, crime is high, drugs, pregnancy, teachers don’t care, violence, etc. I must say that was not fully the case. ESH was the only high school who took me and I must say like my mami Lucy used to tell me “If you are going to be somebody you will be somebody regardless of what high school you attend”.
I auditioned in front of Mrs. Kalivas who was extremely kind introduced herself to me and helped make me feel at ease. I was accepted into the ROOM academy where we went on to put together various fashion shows one in particular I recall where I modeled Mrs. Winter our Art teachers wedding gown as I was so skinny I was the only one who fit it. We went on to work in the yearbook committee, we put together various theater acts ( I of course worked in the background as crew), Drama events, and other activities as well as taking our classes in math, writing, history, etc.
Not all doors are closed and if you can’t find your door make your own, just because it doesn’t work one route, keep at it or take a break and come back to it, if it didn’t work out when you were fifteen try again at twenty and so forth I’m a firm believer that one is never to old for the arts. I honestly stopped thinking about the arts once I had to focus on other matters but Art is like a magnet that once it attracts you there is no letting go at thirty three I made my first painting and decided to give film acting a shot at thirty five. Many thought it was insane my aunt told me I was too old, my other aunt said I was to ugly and no one would want me with my type of hair and wide nose, many told me painting you are still thinking about that, I learned to use the negative and turn it into a positive.
It took me eighteen years to make my first dollar earned painting and twenty years to get my first paid role. God works in mysterious ways. One is never to old or to ugly for nothing we are all different and shall be accepted in our own special way. Whether you are missing a tooth, use a wheelchair or have any type of hair you shall be accepted that is why self love is so important, I figured the people that told me those awful things did not possess self love or love for others.
I knew that with the stones thrown at me I had to build a strong stable firm safe space. I worked really hard to acquire skills and kept building on my skills. One of them is self love and understanding that we are all different and special in our own way. I made a wall so strong that the stones thrown at me would be returned to the sender.
With art come ideas with ideas come paintings with paintings come films, inventions with inventions come modules that will help make the future a great brighter better place for all. Our first language is that of paintings found in caves. There’s a lot of mass in a paper clip, Dr.Einstein proved so.
I am most proud of my mother, she stands at four feet nine inches yet to me she is and will always be the tallest one in the room. She tells me she only has a sixth grade education yet little does she know that to me and to many others she is a genius. My mom can make something out of nothing she can use one knife for many purposes, she possesses immense expertise of survival skills, and even though life has knocked her down many times she rises. I am very proud of her memorization skills and even though we do not meet eye to eye, literally I’m 5’7 lol there’s a sense of respect and devotion, she could have thrown me off a bridge, left me, abandoned me yet she kept me and I am very thankful and proud to call her my mom. I sometimes think my mom was a SGT, LTC or General of an Army in her past life.
As an interior designer/ abstract painter I am most proud of everything. I have come a long way.The classes I have been taking throughout the years have prepared me for the present and I never stop learning taking a drawing class as of the present. In the Tech field right now we are gathering ideas with the research and development department of an undisclosed company that has me quite occupied. Tech allows us to be more self-sufficient and I’m all about self love.
Many of the problems I solve for my clients in abstract painting/ Interior exterior design is that I actually open up there creative side I hear it all the time I am not a painter I cannot paint I am not creative yet everything designed for them is via them I’m just a vessel. Even as a writer working on this book with my aunt Luz who does not know how to read or write yet she’s a genius when it comes to numbers, I am only a vessel used to create what others do not see within themselves with them as a team. A problem I solve in the thespian side would be cost. I understand the budget may be tight and I am willing to work with that. And I hate starting a sentence with “And” just wanted to add that in there. Many problems will be solved within the Tech world as I believe many other problems will arise yet I know this idea will solve more problems than make problems.
What sets me apart from others in thespian assignments is that I can change my looks being that I am mixed I come from Scotland, Africa, Caribbean worldwide, apart from looks I’ve prepared myself by studying the art of acting, learning to master the craft even though there’s no such thing, writing, reading, spanish, beginner arabic , beginner portuguese languages and so forth, in painting and interior design I like to think outside the box all while taking into consideration my clients needs, in the Tech field the innovation we are putting together will help human beings for years to come, I am really excited about this one it’s our 2024 baby and I hope everyone loves it as much as we do, it may take years to reach the market and I am ok with that.
We often hear about learning lessons – but just as important is unlearning lessons. Have you ever had to unlearn a lesson?
One behavior I had to unlearn was to not take in other people’s emotions I had to set boundaries and even let go of a lot of past relationships because I am a sponge I tend to absorb lots of things, I would notice that many people around my circle were not happy or they had attitudes so I would walk around like that sad, mad at the world, victimized, unenergized, depressed until one day I said that is not who I am, I am bubbly, happy, positive, grateful, thankful, an alpha female, fun, loving, a go getter, a survivor, the positive attribute list goes on lol but really once I stopped absorbing other people’s energies and started embracing my own with boundaries that’s number one for real because you give someone a hand they will want to take your whole arm, I felt so much better I can be myself embrace my feminine not be in my masculine and get things done I do not need to raise my voice and still get things done with my soft spoken voice, once I started hanging out with like minded individuals like myself my whole story changed, and it hurts because like my grandfather I wanted to bring everyone with me but that’s not always the case.
What do you find most rewarding about being a creative?
For me personally, the most rewarding aspect of being a creative honestly is all the love I receive from everyone like I could be on set and everyone’s like there’s a painter on set or hey, didn’t you play in this or that film. After being closed in for all these years it’s really nice to be seen and feel part of a community of other creatives and artists and interchange our ideas or listening about there previous, present and future works, it feels really rewarding to feel a connection with others, being fully aware that we are all one, dopamine to the max. Light, love and blessings <3
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.etsy.com/shop/OracPaintings
- Instagram: carolinaabstractpainter
Image Credits
Andres Garcia