We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Carly Ko a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Carly, thanks for joining us today. Can you recount a time when the advice you provided to a client was really spot on? (Please note this response is for education/entertainment purposes only and shouldn’t be construed as advice for the reader)

Some of the best advice I’ve received and offer my clients is more of an internal inquiry. As a therapist my greatest challenge is not to give advice but rather to empower and support my client to see their own wisdom by asking the right questions. This is probably the best “advice” I tend to give. Imagine one of my clients who comes into our online session. She’s worked up from the day, in the process of a separation and hasn’t told the kids yet. She’s worried about how to make it all go smoothly, avoiding any potential ruptures and emotional outbreaks which could potentially turn the whole separation into a nightmare. She’s stressed, anxious, can’t sleep and her mind is coming up with a million strategies.
Her eyes are wide, she begins talking, I’m watching, listening and I notice I’m beginning to check out. This amount of information is too overwhelming to allow me to truly be present with her. I stop her.
I say, what would happen if you stop talking and just listen to what your body is saying?
She responds, “I feel my heart racing, I feel tension in my shoulders, my back is tight, I’m leaning forward on my chair. “
And my question is, “is it ok to slow down and just notice and feel all that right now without any words?”
She stops her mind, drops into her body and begins to cry.
Sometimes we are moving so fast in this world, we want to be in control of what’s happening, we want to change the discomfort of emotions and sensations we may be experiencing and we’re in an urgent state to make that happen.
Sometimes the best advice I give to my clients is “slow down, can you just notice that and just be with it for a moment, without trying to change anything?”
When that happens, worlds open. The fiery reactive mind sits back a moment and we begin to feel what is really there underneath the overthinking, managing, anxious, stressed brain. We get to the root.
Often in talk therapy, we can talk ourselves blue in the face but never get to the real issue and just hold space for it.
When my client began to cry, her shoulders relaxed, she let herself lean over, she let herself feel the grief of the situation. She let herself admit that she was scared, that she was sad, that she was exhausted, wanting everything to work, she just needed to let go for a moment to catch up to herself and have someone acknowledge her.
That’s what asking her to slow down, notice what’s happening in her body and being with it did for her.
The truth is, this isn’t advice I only gave to one client. It’s the main advice I give when I sense the mind has taken over and the real story needs some time and space. I use it for myself. It took me years to learn how to slow down and just be with that which is vibrant and moving within myself but it has been a game changer, for myself and for all my clients.

As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?

I came from a background of C-PTSD. A combination of an abusive overly fervent religious father and a mother who was unable to protect me. I grew up chronically shy, with my self worth equivalent to that of an ant where I continually thought anything I had to say was worthless, I hid away in my little shell.
At age 16 I began hanging out with hippies and ravers and thanks to some of my drug days, I got to see that another reality was possible.
I embarked on a journey of self healing and realization by trying out about everything. Street performing, circus, modeling, acting, traveling the world, all sorts of healing practices, shamanism, yoga, meditation, Buddhism, breath work, sexual experiences, tantra, and more.
Eventually I found somatic movement therapy and basically flipped my intestines inside out and let my body reveal to me all the trauma and beliefs it still held. The somatic movement training made me realize that the body holds everything. I began to see my body as a source of wisdom, delight, joy and my primary home. She began to reveal stories and allow me to access my subconscious where my otherwise over active mind could take over and make me doubt my inner truth. I discovered the body doesn’t lie.
I began the deep process of delving into the somatic world about 10 years ago and not only did incredible amounts of healing for myself but continued on through giving somatic bodywork to clients where I discovered my ability to tap into my intuition and channel messages from the body.
I continued training through an Akashic Record Channeling Mentor and began to access channeled wisdom and information beyond what I could fathom in my mind.
I completed my RSMT and RSME course of Somatic Movement and Expressive Arts Training with ®Tamalpa and continued to specialize more in nervous system regulation and healing trauma through Peter Levine’s work ®Somatic Experiencing. I also delved into Dick Schwartz’ Training in ®Internal Family Systems and Mindful Communication training with Oren Jay Sofer. I combine all these methods to support my clients now. I have mainly transitioned to online somatic therapy as I enjoy the ongoing relationship I have with my clients, where I get to accompany them on their incredible life transformations as opposed to the 1 off bodywork sessions. I use the Akashic Record Readings both as a stand alone offering when people are searching for answers for their lives that higher guidance can support or as a way to help my somatic therapy clients for clear direction on which approach we should take towards their healing and growing pathway.
I currently live on the big island of Hawai’i and travel to California regularly both for seeing clients and modeling gigs (as an old model of 46, I get a lot of anti wrinkle cream and family car gigs..haha.)
I also offer small group or individual retreats in Hawaii for deep healing and transformation.

Training and knowledge matter of course, but beyond that what do you think matters most in terms of succeeding in your field?

I believe that besides all the training a professional therapist can do, one of the most important elements is being a safe and present space for the client. The client is co-regulating his nervous system with yours. If I’m not dealing with my sh*t and I show up disregulated, this will be felt. I believe that genuine care, compassion and curiosity and humility is fundamental to creating a connection. I don’t believe in the idea “I’m the expert and you’re not.” I like to believe that we each have innate wisdom and potential lying dormant that just needs someone to truly see us for it to begin to show up in a fuller way.
I also believe in being human. I might be going through a hard day, I don’t have to fake being anyone I’m not. I can show up and say, yes I’ve had a hard day, I’m dealing with it and right now I am here to show up for you with all my presence.
When we remove the hierarchy of one who knows and is constantly regulated, we can connect on a human level, I might have more tools than you do to offer you, and I will show up fully present for you every time, and I’m human like you.

Can you tell us about what’s worked well for you in terms of growing your clientele?

I have done quite a few business classes and have paid for spiritual entrepreneur mentorship coaching. I have also done a lot of personal work around my relationship to money. One of my energetic suggestions is already imagining the clients I would like to work with, already imagining a full client base, already imagining the fulfillment I would have working with each one of them and setting clear intentions to the universe of when and how many I’d like to have.
I do use manifestation a lot, but removing our internal beliefs about worthiness and ability to have what we want can get in the way.
On a practical level, I do post inspirations on social media, I do have a well develop[ed website, I do ask my clients to review me on google, I do optimize my website with SEO’s and I am on platforms that help clients find therapists. I also have a monthly museletter where I share personal life stories that supports my current clients and attracts new ones.
I try to stay true to what makes me feel alive and authentic, whether it be the joy I get from writing my monthly blog or the copy I write on my website. I know the “right” formulas, but my intention more than selling is being authentic and speaking to the “right” future client.
When I feel a lull in client bookings, I remember why I do what I do. It’s not to fill my pocket, it is to legitimately be of service in the world and the clients I want to attract are the ones that I can actually support. In that spirit, I will put out some energy, meaning update my website, get more reviews, post on social etc. to let the universal energy know, I’m open for business and ready to receive. And it works.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.carlykocreation.com
• Instagram: www.instagram.com/ko_creation www.instagram.com/sunrisesomatics
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/carlyko
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/carlyko/
• Youtube: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLj9fWuUpMSAxBkYCQ4dVXZuC3EWtVxl9e&si=87rsq9G5nonmi_3c

Image Credits

Nikola Vlahovich
Lucilla Elena