We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Caitlyn Boardman a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Caitlyn, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. We’d love to hear the backstory behind a risk you’ve taken – whether big or small, walk us through what it was like and how it ultimately turned out.
Getting sober was the best risk I’ve ever taken. I say risk because I was scared to take that full leap for the longest time. I kept trying sobriety out and I kept running back to alcohol a month later… I was just too scared to leave that version of myself behind but I knew that in order to grow, heal and become the person I needed to be then I needed to get sober. So I kept trying and eventually I hit 1 month, then 2 months and now I’m a little over 3 years sober. My life has truly changed for the better and I couldn’t have gotten this far without sobriety.
I had been drinking since I was 13 years old and eventually started to use it as a way to “run” from problems but really it wasn’t running, it was just pushing down the emotions until they overflowed and exploded. I eventually became addicted to the chaos and I’d drink knowing it’d send me into a spiral because my trauma had fed me to believe that I deserved to be unhappy and to suffer so then I’d drink to spiral because I “deserved” it. It was a never ending toxic cycle and I felt hopeless, lost, broken and I just didn’t think I’d ever be happy or sober. But despite all of that I kept pushing forward and fighting because part of me knew that deep down that wasn’t true and that I did deserve to be happy. And now 3 years later and I truly am the happiest I’ve ever been and I’m so glad I said goodbye to that version of myself and welcomed this new one.
Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers.
I just want others to know they aren’t alone. That’s why I’m so open about my struggles and I try to show the good AND the bad in sobriety and mental health. I know how it feels to feel like you’re alone, to go through things alone, to bottle it up and to just feel like no one cares because I felt that way growing up all my life… I kept everything bottled in and eventually I realized that’s not healthy. I can’t move forward and heal if I don’t let it out. To let go you must feel. So I want others to know it’s okay to feel the bad days, they don’t make you any less human and the bad days don’t mean you aren’t healing- it’s all part of the process. And lastly, I promise you are not alone. There is so much support groups nowadays, online and in person. Just hearing one person telling me I’ve inspired them or have helped them means the world to me and that’s something I’m proud of. I hope one person reads my story and knows that things can and do get better.
Can you share a story from your journey that illustrates your resilience?
My mom recently passed away on Monday, January 6th and normally I’d turn to alcohol to cope with the grief and the depression that followed it this week but instead I allowed myself to cry and feel the emotions rather than trying to run from then. It was honestly really really hard and I thought about drinking just because the pain was unbearable and I wasn’t used to it, the hole in my chest, but I pushed through and told myself it wouldn’t make me feel any better. I’m really proud of myself for staying sober this week because it really has been hard, But crying and giving myself grace has helped me let all those emotions out that need to be let out.
Do you think you’d choose a different profession or specialty if you were starting now?
I would. Sobriety and mental health have always been important to me. Helping people is huge for me and I love to help anyone whenever I can.
Contact Info:
