We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Bruce Miller. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Bruce below.

Alright, Bruce thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. Before we get into specifics, let’s talk about success more generally. What do you think it takes to be successful?

My first lesson leading to my success was to ignore the negativity coming from others. Tune them out! I did not have full family support when I first began officiating 5 years ago! They were cool with my doing my brother in-laws wedding and not so cool with it when I decided to put my shingle out! I read about the growing need for Officiants & decided to jump right in. They honestly have not embraced it very well. I will not go into all of the gory details about it, as some of it is not really pleasant. I had a new friend whom I met at a networking group, and she offered me the best advice. You do you & let them do them. Do not miss an opportunity just because of a few family members are not on board. I learned not to share too much information with them as they did not appreciate it or how happy I was on this new adventure. I ignored their words and any others who were negative. I missed too many other opportunities in the past because of the lack of support & not being on the same bus. So, I jumped on that bus & did not look back.

Even way back in 1981 when I got my first job working in IT. So many family members did not think it was a great idea because I was not very good in math! I did that for 37 years before my last regular job was eliminated after 19.5 years. I went into business for myself as an IT Auditor, Consultant, and Project Manager. I enjoyed that until this called Covid thing hit. The brass ring of life’s opportunities will not always swing back around second time, so if you really want to do it, have faith in yourself & dive right in in. The water is fine!

Do not be afraid of hearing the word no. For every No, one person encounters, they are that much closer to hearing a Yes. Do not sell yourself short or practically give away business just because you are new to something. My first year of business was kind of ok. I ended up doing or providing a total of six ceremonies that first year. Only one paid, two provided tips & two were just for the fun of it. I did my first Untying of the Knot Ceremony in Las Vegas overlooking the strip for a friend who had a bad divorce. I had several inquiries, but never heard back. They must have thought how good this guy since he is so cheap. I raised my pricing & business improved.
Incorporate your business! Let us just say you become involved in a lawsuit. They can sue to as a person they contracted with for all of what you have, put liens on your property or include future earnings. By contracting with your business, they only sue the corporation. Keep your business assets to a minimum, there will not be that much to take in the event of a lawsuit. It could happen even to a Wedding Officiant. The worst case is you go Bankrupt & start over.
Get professional business cards printed. They are not that expensive & hand them out until it is time to order more & then repeat. Never discount the value of handing out business cards! An entrepreneur told me she built three businesses by business cards and word of mouth.

Use a contract for your services, even for family & friends! Trust me, those are some of the biggest abusers! The contract will protect you as well as your clients interest too. Spell everything out, never assume people will know what you want them to know. I had two couples in 2021 & one in 2020 that were desperately trying to find someone because their nice Christian Minister backed out leaving them high and dry. Two couples had less than 5 days’ notice. Charge a fair retainer that is fair to you. I initially charged $50 to $75 for deposits A deposit indicates it is refundable! Funny how people will walk away from $75 after 6 months, blowing you off. I increased it to a 50% non-refundable retainer and very few balked at it. I explain why I had to do it & they understood. Pay yourself for the upfront work you do! Some complained & said no. I said thank you very much for your time, next! As I said, do not sell yourself short. Never be afraid to tell a client no or to politely say you are no longer available on their date. I always preferred to meet in person with couples so we can better gage if we are a match. I learned how easy it is to take on a client for the sake of earning their business. It really was not worth it! We learn these things as we grow. If you think someone might be a bride or groomzilla, there is a rather good chance they will be difficult. If you do have that happen, smile & treat them as best as you can while making a mental note not to do that again. Some folks are just not worth it.

Network, network, network! Look to Social Media for likeminded people & groups in the same business. I have learned so much from so many & I never mind helping or sharing with others. We all had to start somewhere! I have developed some fairly good friendships with people I’ve yet to meet in person! There are the snarky and or snobby types too. I just say, let us agree to disagree! If that does not work, I rely on you do you & I will do me. That really ticks some of them off! I have also developed relationships with another officiant where I am available to help someone out in an emergency & vice versa! It is very assuring to my clients to know this considering they are paying 50% upfront.
Since the majority of my job surrounds public speaking, practice, practice, practice reading aloud. Then do it again! Smile when you perform your services. Speak slowly & clearly. Do not read like a robot or get into the uhm’s & ah’s as you speak. I get a lot of compliments on my speaking & reading skills. One bride told me that I had her at hi I am Bruce! Did I mention practice?

Ask for reviews! Do not be shy about it. I have had couples who were impressed with my reviews & decided on the spot they wanted me to do their ceremony after speaking with me. It really helps to grow your business! I also offer to recommend fellow officiants if I cannot work with a couple due to being booked or some other reason.
Last but not least important, take the time to celebrate your victories and or good fortune! Remember to have fun with whatever you are doing! If it is not fun and you do not thoroughly enjoy what you are doing, then it really is not worth it! I welcome everyone & anyone to my table. I don’t exclude anyone for any reason! I provide very nice ceremonies, with a side order of some laughs in-between tears of joy. I offer a variety of options for my couples, even wrapping things up with a Unity Shot if they so desire! I love to tell potential clients that I have the best job ever! I always have a front row seat to some of their most important life celebrations when they are the happiest. I am also there to talk them down out of the tree’s when they get so nervous or upset before the ceremony. Be a calming influence for them! It really works. Did I mention that I have the world’s greatest job? Thank you for your time to read this!

Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers.

I have been a Wedding Officiant for 5 years and I enjoy every aspect of it: meeting new people, providing the wedding they want their way. I remind all of my couples that I am there for them and them alone. So many people are so nervous and confused when they first begin their planning. Too many voices telling them what to do or not do. I have had concerned parents explain to that their child has been divorced or heaven forbid a child out of wedlock. Maybe they happen to be non-religious, gay, trans or some other religion. I always welcome one and all.

A little about me. I’m married for going on 36 years. 36 wonderful, short, beautiful years! Why it seems like just yesterday! Ok, I’ll stop at that. We have two kids, a daughter 28 & a son 30. They are both out on their own living their lives. I worked in IT for some 37 years until my job was eliminated 5 years ago, always dreaming about being self-employed! I began consulting in IT as well as an officiant after that day. It was such relief once it was over. Now that I am self-employed, I’ve enjoyed it thoroughly. Why it would be illegal if I had any more fun.

One of the secrets to my success as a hospital IT manager was, I knew when to shut up, smile & move along. When a very uncomfortable situation or an unpleasant encounter, I’d simply remain calm. Why risk losing a job because a higher up was being nasty? I know too many people that ended up losing their job due to losing their temper and or control because so & so said this to me or talked to me that way. I have mentioned to those types of personalities more than once that their behavior was getting close to or was violating the organizations code of conduct. That usually worked for most of them except for that one department head chief surgeon who did get called to the Medical Directors Office for a spanking. Better him than me!

I am a glass half full type of person and try to always make people feel welcome. As a hobby, that was more like a job, I played in a Scottish Bagpipe band from 1976 until 1995 when my job and having small kid’s got in the way. I had my fun time for a really long time, so then it was their turn. I’d never do anything differently.

I played the big ole bass drum & tenor in the Rhythm Section. We had a legendary drum corps for many years. We were known as the Tower of Power. Mostly because most of us were over 6’ tall & weighed in way over 200 lbs. But we also played so well together It was really indescribable as to how much fun it was. We became a world class bagpipe band over the years traveling coast to coast & across the big pond to compete in various contest with the Worlds Championships in Scotland as a highlight. One other fun memory was when we played an impromptu concert in the Town Square in Reykjavik, Iceland in 1983. Both of their TV stations showed up to record it!

I developed my own style of playing and was always having a great time. I helped many other players & gave instructions for a number of years. I learned later in years when the younger players at the time said I really helped them to calm down & enjoy the moment. I guess I was often considered by many folks to be a dancing bear with a large drum strapped around my neck. Hey, I was young and dumb at the time. I was just having fun! I even had groupies who loved to watch me perform. There was nothing better than standing in the center of the band circle playing in a contest, a concert or just at a bar enjoying the roar of a happy crowd. I even had one pretty young lady walk up to me to show me the goose bumps she had from listening to us play. I really miss it and stay active in the pipe band world by assisting at band contests as a Steward, helping judges check people in, keeping bands on time and other duties. My daughter started playing with my old band her senior year in high school. It really meant a lot to me & was a very proud moment.

I enjoy being present and a calming influence on people and for my couples. I’ve talked more than one bride or groom down out of a tree on the day of the wedding. It’s amazing at how much a few calm words, a smile and a nod will do for some people. I’ve had many extra hugs from brides and couples thanking me for being there for them! I provide services for all celebrations of life including Wedding Ceremonies, Vow Renewals, Reaffirmation Ceremonies, Commitment Ceremonies for those who don’t feel the need to have a marriage license. In addition to those services, I also provide Christening and Baptism’s, Memorial and Funeral Services. I also provide on the polar opposite if marriage, the Untying of the Knot Ceremonies for divorcees. I do this all with an open mind and caring heart. I love to mix some laughter in between those tears of joy. I do enjoy the feedback and looking at the smiles of so many happy people. I’d never trade anything in the world for doing what I do!

We’d love to hear the story of how you turned a side-hustle into a something much bigger.

2017 was a very memorable year for me. I became ordained online on Super Bowl Sunday in 2017 just to do my brother in-laws wedding later in June. I lost a full-time job that January as an IT manager with the same health system after 19.5 years.

I started consulting and performing IT HIPAA audits after not being able to get a full time that paid a fair wage. Who wants to hire a late 50ish person making x dollars who will quit as soon as another opportunity came along? That was not and is not me, so it was their loss! I’ve learned to dislike the word side hustle after the first two years. Five years later I still get that this is just a thing I do, a hobby, or that it is not a job from some relatives & family members. I’ve not looked back since that day in January 2017.

A great deal of my success is due to my never giving up. That is just too easy to do! In many cases my work speaks for me & a reputation as being someone that works a high degree of integrity. My first six engagements in 2017 were all by word of mouth. I printed my own business cards and began posting them, leaving them on places were other business left cards. I soon replaced with professionally printed cards. They do make a difference.

The next step was to create a Facebook page for my business: https://www.facebook.com/bwmillerservices. I finally had a place post pictures & other information. I also began posting in as many Facebook Market Place groups I could find. I discovered there were many Wedding Officiant Facebook groups that I joined and began “chatting” with other people in the business. I now have a very large worldwide support group with people who share ideas and offer their support. I get many & give just as many referrals to other officiants. I do payback in kind and play it forward.
Then I took a leap of faith and joined the Wedding Wire, which keeps business coming my way. It isn’t cheap, but well worth it to me. They also have local events, which put me in contact with many other peers: https://www.weddingwire.com/biz/b-w-miller-services-inc-frankfort/44c4cbd7a20d1e4d.html

I’m also a member of the Officiant Directory https://www.facebook.com/officiantdirectory to further spread the word of my business.

Can you share a story from your journey that illustrates your resilience?

This journey first started way back in 1981 when I took a leap of faith moving from the Mail-room to the MIS Department as an Input/Output Clerk & Tape Librarian at my very first Data Center. My parents both advised me not to take it because I was horrible in math & felt I was not smart enough to do the job! I fooled them since I retired from IT this past New Years Eve.

I had my haters when I first began as a Computer Operator Trainee way back when. I actually took a triple demotion in job status to take that job. I had folks tell me that I’d never be successful, they’d be watching me! I did what I was told to do, I learned from past mistakes & positioned myself to ready & available. So I let them watch me get a couple of rapid promotions in a short time, leading up to supervising roles leading up to my becoming a Data Center Manager of my very own Data Center.

I have a few never published works of fiction I’ve been working on for a very long time. I had a brother tell me I’m wasting my time doing that because nobody would ever read anything I wrote. I’ve lost count of the articles I have posted over the years, writing News Letters, educational material and getting paid to write IT related procedure manuals. Yep, nobody would want to read anything I wrote!

My main focus is to just do me and try not take any of the derogatory remarks or other unsupported personal comments to heart. If you really believe in yourself when others don’t, try it anyway. You’ll never know if you don’t try. Jump for that brass ring of life when it comes your way. It may not be back around a second time. I can’t imagine where I would be if I didn’t tune them out! If you work hard enough, listen to helpful people, you may just be successful at it by not giving up.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.weddingwire.com/biz/b-w-miller-services-inc-frankfort/44c4cbd7a20d1e4d.html
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/bwmillerservices.
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bruce-w-miller/