The most meaningful project I’ve done is a full-length musical called Esther the Queen, which I wrote in 2022. I wrote the complete stage play and musical scores. I would estimate a run time of about 2.5-3 hours. It’s the first full-length musical I’ve written. I wrote it partly because it was a challenge. It was also something inside of me that needed to be put on paper. I wrote it in faith that one day someone will produce it.

The background behind this started in 2012. I applied for a job with Jewish Voice, a messianic ministry in Phoenix, Arizona. I wasn’t offered the job, but I did become aware of the messianic movement. It’s a combination of Jewish people that have accepted Jesus as their Savior and Gentile believers who have a heart for Israel. I began attending Tikvat Yisrael, a messianic congregation, around that time. In 2013 I performed the role of Haman in a Purim spiel at the congregation.

Purim is a Jewish holiday that celebrates the story of Queen Esther. The main narrative of the story revolves around how the Jewish people were delivered from the evil schemings of the villainous Haman. Congregations will often perform dramatic tellings of the story in humorous ways. Haman is the heel, and it’s common to play him in a way to elicit as much jeering as possible. After that fun experience, I wrote four Purim spiels of my own and self-published them. I believe if I have something to write, I write it, and later it will hopefully find an audience.

In 2019 and 2020, I was able to direct and perform in two of those spiels with Beth Tikkun, a messianic congregation in Akron, Ohio. The first performance (2019) was called The Purim Stooges. It featured Haman as well as two minor villains as characters resembling the Three Stooges. The second performance (2020) was called Purim Wars: The Wrath of Haman. It was a science fiction-themed telling of the story and had quite a few references to Star Trek and a few to Star Wars. I also wrote some musical parodies. I had found some success years earlier when I was doing standup comedy with doing parodies (think of a poor man’s version of Weird Al), so I brought that into writing several parody songs to go along with the dramatic performances.

For Purim of 2023, I wrote, directed, and performed in a mini musical at my home congregation, Tikvat Yisrael. The songs were a small sampling from Esther the Queen. Being a smaller congregation, I had to rewrite and shorten the dramatic portion. The larger musical has 29 acting parts. My mini musical was condensed to 4.

A link to the full script with musical scores for Esther the Queen can be found at: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1DVK5mZEYR8p23rO3xngrDOhoIvKm8A0n/view?usp=drive_link

I’ve always been a creative person. As a kid, I remember creating radio plays on a tape deck. I also would occasionally write things. One poem I vaguely recall was about the day Mom was sick and Dad cooked. He served us hamburgers that resembled charcoal briquets.

I was a shy, quiet kid. I spent quite a bit of time daydreaming in school. Even though I was shy, I found I liked drama. My first performance was in a play called Christmas Comes to Detroit Louie. I played the comedic sidekick. There was something fascinating about getting people to laugh and holding an audience on a string.

In high school, I played Henry Westenra in Dracula. The director gave me much leeway in the performance. The butler had been changed from Charles to Charlotte the maid. So, I took on the role of eyeballing the maid and arguing with my nagging wife. I was able to rewrite a significant number of my lines. During the performance, I stole the second act. I had the audience in stitches.

In college, I had a small role in Romeo and Juliet. I had the famous line of biting my thumb at someone. The love I had for drama in those early years is still with me today. However, it has morphed. I enjoy writing and directing as much as performing.

In 2011 I started to call myself a writer. God had brought experiences in my life that developed that talent. I taught some speech classes as a teaching assistant back in 1995-96 and 1999. In 2003 I began teaching college classes more steadily. Initially, that started with speech classes, but it evolved into teaching writing, management, and even math classes. The writing and speech classes were particularly important to molding me as a writer. I had to become a master of grammar, organization, and style.

In 2008 I began doing standup comedy. I was driving around doing open mics and performing at small venues. At one point I even organized my own shows. Doing comedy helped me find a writing voice. Being a writing instructor at college, some of my initial comedy was grammatically correct but was flat in front of an audience. I had to learn how to speak and write in a way that sounded natural. Eventually, I stopped performing comedy. I was told by several people I was a good writer. And, I found I enjoyed doing that more than performing.

A turn in my life came back around 2012, when I applied for a job with Jewish Voice, a messianic ministry in Phoenix, Arizona. I’ve already spoken about that in detail with another question, so I won’t rehash ground I’ve already covered.

2013 was another turning point in my life. My Dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer. He passed away in 2015 after a brutal battle. That caused me to go through a period of mourning, but also reevaluation of my life. I did write about my dad’s death in a self-published book called How Could a Loving God Allow Dad to Get Cancer. I have gone back and done some more work on that book, but I probably need to work with a publisher to really get it into proper shape. At the time, my soul was raw and aching. And, my thoughts were likely disjointed. I had never experienced such a deep loss, so I was confused. God needed me to go through a wilderness experience to focus me on who I am and where I belong.

In early 2015 (before my dad passed), I wrote an animated screenplay called Nugget. I’ve always found animated movies fascinating. So, I wanted to write one. It poured out of me in about two weeks. It’s about a pygmy squirrel named Nugget. He wakes up on an iceberg and doesn’t know who he is or where he came from. He’s befriended by two polar bears and begins a journey to find his home. I later turned it into a book which I self-published. Since that time, I’ve written several screenplays. If and when they’ll eventually hit the screen is hard to say, but I have to write. It’s who I am.

Because of my background in teaching, I have written some on that topic. One interesting book is called Learning is Fun, But Education Stinks. I believe much of what we do in our educational system works against teaching and hinders creativity and critical thinking. Is it a good book? Honestly, I don’t know. I wrote that back in 2012. I wasn’t nearly as strong a writer as I am now. Part of writing is simply gaining a ton of experience putting words on the page. For me, writing is something that helps me think through things. So, sometimes my writing is great. And, sometimes it’s someone wrestling to figure something out. That’s why a big part of writing is rewriting and editing.

I’ve also written a few things on public speaking and creativity. One of the best pieces I’ve produced is called Just Be Creative. It uses parables, stories, and metaphor to teach people how to be more creative.

In 2019 I began taking classes at Stark State College. I was finding I just didn’t have the necessary job skills needed. I originally began a degree in mobile applications development. I found it wasn’t a fit. Eventually, I ended up in digital video and media technology. I found my home. I was involved in several video productions. I was also involved in Phi Theta Kappa Honor Society as the Newsletter Editor and Vice President.

A few of my class projects became self-published works. In a design class that focused on learning Photoshop, I created a poster for a fictitious movie called Squirrels in Space. Eventually, I ended up self-publishing the story in book form.

I would love to write children’s books–particular Bible stories in poetic format. I envision the books being Dr. Seuss-style versions of Bible stories. I’ve written a few, and one became a class project. It was called Jonah. I had never illustrated a book before, so I decided to try it. It was for a final class project. Being a video class, I would need to also animate the book. I started the project the second week of class, and it took me most of the semester. But I do have a fully illustrated children’s book. Honestly, my illustrating skills are not at the level needed to become a best seller. But, I wanted to have something in print I could show someone–a physical version of my idea. Hopefully someday that book will end up in the right hands, and I’ll be able to pitch my idea. And, hopefully, a great illustrator will perform their magic.

So, where am I at? Right now, I’m an undiscovered artist. I desire to create art that will teach people about God and the Bible–while making them laugh and while uncovering deep theological truths. I want to write a whole series of children’s books–some shorter illustrated children’s book and others longer books for young adults. I want to write curriculum that can be used to teach people the Bible. This would include things like puppet plays, lesson plans, short skits, full-length dramas, cantatas, and musicals, basically anything that starts with creative writing. I also want to write stage plays and screenplays–things that can be put on a small screen, big screen, stage, or be sung by a worship team. And as an extension of writing, I want to act, direct, and be involved in videography and animation. God made me to be a creative. So, that’s what I’m striving to be.

My driving force is my faith in God. Faith often involves blind spots. So, as I share, realize I could be wrong where things are headed. I’m also a creative individual. Being creative involves exploring new things. And, often those things are unexpected. So, I’m open to the unexpected and have found life doesn’t go as planned. With that being said, let me share my ideas on my calling in life.

Who

I have a background in teaching and have taught all age groups at varying levels of success. So, which age group really stands out? I would say it’s college students that stand out.

I recently completed some degree work at Stark State College. Even though I was the “old” guy, I fit in and had success. I was able to become involved with Beta Gamma Epsilon, which is Stark’s chapter of the Phi Theta Kappa Honor Society. I served as Newsletter Editor and Vice President. I was involved with several of the chapter’s projects and thoroughly enjoyed working with my fellow students. I was also the recipient of several scholarships—one of high esteem with Phi Theta Kappa.

Besides my involvement with Phi Theta Kappa, I was involved with other activities. One notable activity was serving as an editor of Just One Soldier’s Story, which was a movie-length video looking into a soldier’s experience in Vietnam.

What I experienced at Stark State was prosperity. I think much of that was God’s blessings. When I think of when I’ve been most prosperous (either in terms of my fulfillment or my impact on others) it has usually involved being in a college setting.

One of my main hobbies is creative writing. I’ve written, directed, and performed in a few celebrations of the story of Queen Esther. One of the performances ended up being performed primarily by children. I currently teach children at my home congregation. I’ve also written some books and poems targeted at children. While I have a heart for children, I don’t see working with that age group as my long-term mission. There just isn’t the same sense of blessing I’ve had working with college students. The things I’ve written for children have ended up being thoroughly enjoyed by adults. So, when I target that audience, it seems to naturally connect to the inner kid of adults and tends to be more family-oriented as opposed to just something kids would enjoy. Even when I’m having fun and connecting with my inner kid, there seems to be a depth of thought that connects to the adult mind as well as a kid’s mind.

Obviously, God wants me to be able to work with all age groups. So, while I may end up primarily working with one, I’ll be ministering to and rubbing shoulders with many. I would say my ideal group is those in college or young adults. I’m also just naturally wired as a teacher and learner, which reinforces being in that kind of environment.

What

So, what should I be doing with these college students? There seems to be two main things: teaching and creative arts.

Okay, let’s begin by teaching. There are many different ways to teach. In religious circles, this often means giving a lecture. By lecture, I mean a primarily one-way communication where a speaker presents information in front of an audience. In case you’re wondering, I consider a sermon a lecture. My experience in education has proven to me repeatedly that this is the least effective means of teaching. Reading doubles comprehension over lecture. Discussion and hands-on learning can increase learning five to ten-fold.

But, why? Why is a pulpit-to-pew type of teaching least effective? It’s primarily aimed at the input portion of learning. Learning involves at least three steps—input, processing, and output. The more a learner goes through all those steps, the deeper the learning. When learning focuses on output, it causes the learner to go through all those steps—and, deeper learning occurs.

Now, am I completely opposed to a lecture? No. At times it can allow an expert to share his or her knowledge with a large group of people. At times I’ve learned something significant from a sermon. Plus, there will probably be times that I’ll need to preach and do pulpit-to-pew types of ministries. It’s something I have the background to do well, it just won’t be my focus.

My focus in teaching would be oriented towards discussion and hands on application. Discussing requires one to comprehend, process, and then output (with questions and/or answers). It completes the input-process-output cycle of learning.

When it comes to hands-on learning, my bent would be creative arts. This would include things like drama productions, putting together writing anthologies, video productions, video editing, sound design, and music. God has given me a gifting with creativity, so that’s likely what he wants me to do.

So, in terms of teaching, the focus with be on:

> Discussion and small group activities, and

> Creative arts activities

Where

This is a hard question, because the best answer I can come up with is—where God puts me. I don’t know the exact geographical location God may lead.

In terms of spiritual community, where I seem to fit best is in Messianic Judaism. I have a heart for the Jewish people and the Bible just makes more sense to me when studied from a Jewish perspective. However, I’ve always felt that I don’t belong to just one corner of the Christian community, but to the whole community. I suspect I will end up ministering to the larger body through creative writing as well as making art that will teach and encourage others. I will likely be grounded in Messianic Judaism as a home base but will reach others through creating art.

When

I’m currently involved with teaching children, intercessory prayer, outreach events, sharing creative writing, and helping with the audiovisual end of things at my home congregation. When to minister is now and what to do is what is right before me.

But, there is the deeper question of when my life’s most impactful work will begin. I feel God is preparing me for something. Writing this at least helps me think that through, so I’ll be prepared when he opens the right door.

Why

The why is about helping others. In Ephesians 4 it talks about God giving certain people to the community to help perfect the saints. For me, I can see I’m a teacher. As I’ve pondered that passage, I don’t think the list of prophet, pastor, teacher, and others, is a list of offices. That’s not to say people don’t serve in offices and there aren’t other passages that deal with these positions as offices. It seems this passage is talking more about function. When God gives a teacher to the community, that person at their core is a teacher. It’s a function they’re designed to do. So, the why really boils down to God creating me for a function. That function comes down to teaching—and, I believe, teaching through small groups and the use of creative arts.

How

In the discussion up to this point, I’m obviously looking at being a leader. But, how does that express itself? What I’ve found is that I naturally want to lead in a democratic way. I want others to give just as much input and bring just as much motivation to a task that I do. I want to be the player coach.

However, I’ve found that doesn’t always work. Sometimes others don’t have my vision and drive. How could I expect them to? As a teacher that means God has given me a drive and vision. It also means that he hasn’t always given those around me the same drive and vision. As a teacher, it’s my job to share that vision and instill that drive. Ugh! That’s hard work and I haven’t always been successful doing that.

Here’s the grind. My basic personality is that of a highly introverted creative writer. If you’re imagining a shy guy that sits in the corner deeply thinking about things—that’s me! If you meet me, you may think I’m an extrovert. God has brought me through a training program with my teaching background to give me the ability to rally the troops. So, what I am in the flesh and what God is doing in the spiritual realm at times conflict.

I have some of the key strengths of a highly contemplative introvert. There’s a tremendous amount of creativity, the ability to deeply think through issues, and an insight that others don’t possess. That insight can be a source of great consternation, because at times others just don’t see or get what I’m thinking or doing.

Being a teacher and an introvert is only something God would do. What this means is that when I’m around people, I tend to be the battery for others. However, when I’m around others, my battery is set to give my energy and can become drained.

I learned this lesson the hard way when I was teaching college. I became burnt out. I was giving far more than my students. I was teaching primarily general education classes like speech and writing. So, many of my students were just going through the motions. They weren’t bringing any energy to me. I was constantly charging others and they were constantly draining me.

I think God put this wiring into me because I’m designed to function within the Christian community. God knows I like to work alone, so he’s designed me in a way that I can’t work alone. I need the energy and support of others. As I lead them, I need them to start catching the vision and to start charging rather than draining me. But, how do I do that?

What I’ve found is that many people are sheepish. They may be capable of leading, but they don’t feel comfortable doing that. Sometimes they need a drill sergeant to push them along. They need a take-charge guy that tells them exactly what to do, where to go, and when to be there. Problem is the drill sergeant mentality directly conflicts with my wiring as a creative introvert.

What I’ve learned is that I can be a drill sergeant. It’s not my natural way of leading, but at times I need to go into drill sergeant mode. My natural tendency is to be democratic. I want other’s input. I want them to take ownership. I want them to bring an internal battery fully charged. But, they want to know what to do before giving input. They want to feel a sense of direction before they take ownership. They may not have a full battery until it’s charged by someone else. When I sense things are beginning to lack direction, I tap into my inner drill sergeant.

There’s a problem with my inner drill sergeant. That guy is giving, directing, and busting his hump for others. But, he’s not getting back. He’s slowly becoming a withered husk with nothing more to give. There’s a point where I must start letting go of the reins. I have to have faith others will start to catch the vision. And, what I’ve found is they do. Once people feel something has a solid sense of direction, they buy in. As they buy in, I can start to slide into my preferred leadership style of being democratic.

For me to lead, I need to teeter totter between being a drill sergeant and being a democratic leader. I need to begin with my batteries charging others and sharing my creativity and vision. That’s one key strength of an introvert. Because their batteries are set on discharge when people are around, they can be a great energizer and motivator to others. However, they can’t sustain that. Their weakness of limited people energy means they must let go and let God at a certain point.

I do think God has deliberately wired my weaknesses and strengths where they intersect. For me to have any level of impact, I need to stay humble and dependent on others.

Summary

So, where does this leave me? Overall, it points to working primarily with college students or young adults. It involves teaching primarily through discussion and leading creative arts. It points to likely finding my home base in the Messianic Jewish community, but also finding ways to impact the greater community. It involves me being a leader that finds a leadership style that matches both the way God has wired me as well as the needs of others. This will require sliding along the continuum of being a drill sergeant (against my grain, but sometimes needed by others) and being a democratic leader (which is the natural preferred style of a creative introvert).

Now, God could throw all this out and decide to put me where he puts me. However, I think long-term it’s a good idea to think through where God may be leading. As opportunities arise, I don’t expect them to fit all my expectations. However, it gives me a tool. I can ask myself whether I think an open door seems headed in that direction—or, if a closed door just needs to be pushed on a little harder. Figuring out God’s will is hard, but I’m in the process of doing it!

There’s a few things I wish I had gotten involved with earlier. First, is music and the study of the ukulele. I wish I had begun studying music theory when I was a kid. I also wish I had not only taken up, but had stuck with learning an instrument. I’ve tried several in the past. The two that seem to fit are harmonica and ukulele. So, I’m currently studying them.

Another resource and area of involvement would be becoming involved with a writer’s group. I wish I had done this even back in elementary school or junior high. Even back then, I showed evidence of being a gifted writer. So, it would have been helpful to get involved with that sooner.