Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Brenda Tapia. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Brenda, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. What did your parents do right and how has that impacted you in your life and career?
In 2015, I became a mother and started my wellness business a year later. Everything changed after I submitted my divorce in 2019. I’ll never forget how hard it was for me to bear the uncertainty.
I used to think that divorces were a huge failure and that the “broken” family members would have to carry the burden of their experience. However, I made a breakthrough when I decided to learn more about relationships, NVC communication, and emotionally immature parenting. I’ve realized that families are much more than a stereotype; it is a community that needs to understand the interaction of each of its members, value the quality of its communications, and know how to navigate through conflict.
So, I guess my point is that what my parents did right is that when I was a kid, they created an environment that fueled my curiosity, and it never stopped. This curiosity has led me to question stereotypes and allowed me to choose differently and freely. I now engage with my family from a more grounded experience, and I’ve removed the mandatory loyalty, which has empowered me to observe and appreciate our interactions in a more authentic space. And it is from this space that I’m capable of honoring and enjoying my time with them.
Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers?
I was born in Mexico City, and I’ve been living abroad since 2012. I have a law degree and extensive training in natural health. I landed in Texas on September 25, 2013, having in my mind one of the most important projects of my life: building my family. I was naïve and lacked so much knowledge about the meaning of a functional family. I chose not to continue my contract negotiations consultancy in the Oil sector; instead, I started my new wellness business. I pictured myself leading my business while taking care of my child. And I did—I opened Wellnessabroso when my son was six months old and taught cooking classes while holding him in a baby carrier. After three years of running my business, something was feeling off. It seems my body was mostly in the fight or flight response. I thought that if I repressed the messages from my body, I would be able to continue with my family project. I tried to shut down my body so many times because I was so convinced that filling in the template was the only way to achieve my goal.
I let go of my fantasies around my concept of family in 2019 when I filed the divorce and gradually started to learn the dynamics within families and what is essential to hold together a community—it goes way beyond of filling in a template.
After two years of accepting my new role as a single mother holding the responsibility of raising a boy, I decided to write a book for kids mainly to explain to my son how I’m experiencing our new family dynamic. Then, my inner voice said: Why don’t you share this project with other communities? My first book, “What family looks like” was published one year later.
Have any books or other resources had a big impact on you?
Reading has become one of my primary resources to gain a better perspective on health. While running my wellness business, I focused my reading on diet-related books. One of my favorites was “Gut and Psychology Syndrome” by Dr. Natasha Campbell-McBride, MD. Then, I became more interested in books that address the interaction of the mind with well-being. “A mind of your Own” by Kelly Brogan, MD, and the “Deepest Well” by Nadine Burke Harris, MD are some examples.
Today I’m interested in learning about efficient ways to deliver an idea—”Getting to Zero” by Jason Gaddis and “Nonviolent Communication” by Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D. are excellent books.
We’d love to hear a story of resilience from your journey.
During my marriage, I ran my business while being a stay-home mom. After the divorce, I chose to close Wellnessabroso to find a stable income that would guarantee a more secure path for my son and me. And I did—I went back to work as an employee of a seismic company providing advice on risk elements in business transactions.
The divorce was a huge disappointment. I felt that the most important project of my life had failed. Then I realized I was clinging to my expectations because I wanted others to behave in ways that would make me feel seen and supported—it was crucial to stop attaching to the role-self and fantasies I built during my childhood.
I am now efficiently using my time to guide my energy in identifying my victimhood feelings to stay in the driver’s seat.
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Amanda Faucett