We were lucky to catch up with Bonnie Gross recently and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Bonnie, thanks for joining us today. Let’s start with the story of your mission. What should we know?
The story began when I was 13 years old and felt too embarrassed to tell anyone that tampon insertion was painful. I thought it was normal to feel pain and wore them once a month for years, not saying a word to anyone. Fast forward to college, and I’m finding everything relating to my vulva area painful including wearing tight pants, sitting on a bike, and s*x. Again, it felt taboo and no one around me was talking about it, so I just smiled and kept pushing forward.
Finally, I hit a point where I started to seek out medical help, only to be left in a world of disappointment. Not only were doctors dismissing my pain, but telling me that the pain was either normal, or just in my head. One doctor even suggested drinking before s*x even though I was underage. After years of doctors not believing my pain, I found a specialist in New York that correctly diagnosed my vulvar vestibulitis and vaginismus.
Immediately following college graduation, I got a vestibulectomy, and spent a year recovering with bed rest and dilators. Before any of this happened I had no idea what any of these V words meant or anything about dilators. After all was said and done, I wondered why no one was talking about this and why I couldn’t find any media about the subject.
I wrote a blog post about the surgery and ended up receiving over six hundred views and an overwhelming response from other women out there, who were experiencing similar issues. I made it my mission to start putting out content about these “taboo” topics in the hopes that we could normalize them and start conversations. In 2017 I began writing “Lady Parts,” a dramedy feature film based on my experience with vulvodynia and vaginismus. Then last summer we filmed “Lady Parts” in Los Angeles and we are almost finished with post production. You can even watch our trailer here: https://ladypartsfilm.com/trailer
At the same time, I began making content for TikTok and Instagram all about vaginal health care. It was the content that I wish was out there when I was going through all of these struggles. It is so meaningful to me because it’s so important to create visibility on these topics, and let other people know they are not alone. Sometimes just having something to relate to can change everything. Visibility is important. If just one person could see my TikTok, and eventually the feature film, and walk away learning something new, or finally feeling seen and heard, then I have done my job.
As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?
In 2017 I bought a one-way flight to Los Angeles with no job, no place to live, an air mattress, and trash bags full of clothing. All I knew was that I wanted to work in entertainment, had fully recovered from my vestibulectomy surgery, and was ready to see the world. My first job was a temp receptionist at Deluxe on the Sony Lot, where we would do the finishing of feature films. From there I was hired on at their sister facility, Encore Hollywood, where they did television series, as a full time production assistant.
While I was working full time at Encore Hollywood, I went to night classes at UCLA for the Professional Program in comedy writing. During my time there I started writing “Lady Parts,” and had no idea what it would become. After 3 years of working in post in LA, I took a job at It’s a Southern Thing as a comedy writer and producer and moved to Alabama. It was another huge risk, but I was so excited to be working in comedy and social media. Then the pandemic hit. I had a lot of time on my hands. I moved back in with my parents in Philly and started bartending.
I had tried pitching “Lady Parts,” but it seemed no one was ready to tackle the “taboo” topic. Once I had the time to reflect over the pandemic, I realized what I had to do. I was going to self produce and self finance “Lady Parts” and finally get it made. If there is no seat at the table, pull one up yourself. I rewrote the script, scheduled a table read, started an LLC, and began pre-production. Also during this time I started making TikToks at first for fun, all about my own journey with vaginal health, mental health, and eventually moving to New York. In 2021 I had my first viral TikTok with over 1 million views, and I’ve loved making them ever since.
Once vaccinated, I took a job with Light Iron in New York, and found myself back in the post production world. A lot of people have no idea what happens at finishing facilities, but they are such a crucial part of the filmmaking process, and can teach you so many skills that you need during production as well. The post production world introduced me to so many people, places, and skills that were needed to make “Lady Parts” as well as my own social content.
We’d love to hear a story of resilience from your journey.
This past summer we were filming “Lady Parts” in Los Angeles. During this time I was still working my full time New York post coordinator job remotely. I would wake up around 3am to get a head start on both jobs, work full time New York hours, then be on set for up to 14 hours, then repeat. This went on for at least a month. Not to mention because of the low budget and resources, I was also driving the production truck each day, heading up crafty, prop master, and really just anything and everything that needed to get done.
During our last week of filming in LA, I had a lot of errands to run before a long night shoot, along with a busy day of remote work in NY. I drove the truck over to a surgical supply house to return a surgical light we had rented. When a part of the light had popped off, I began searching under the pile of C-stands, sand bags, and heavy lights to find it. Then there was the cooler that I carried all of our alternative milks from place to place safely, but this time my 48 hour no sleep mind forgot to remove the creamers. As I went to lift the cooler, the top opened and gallons of warm milk toppled all over me. I baked in the Los Angeles sun, the milk began drying on my skin, and no light top part was ever found. I stared into the surgical prop house, full of traumatic triggers, a group of burly men, arms crossed, just staring, not helping. My “resilience” was to just laugh and keep on going!
I took my loss and hopped on a work call in the truck seat, my face looked like death. 2 people called out sick from the set tonight. I hurried the truck through the LA traffic to unload. We needed a prop. I drive to get it. We need more. I drive to get it, but can’t park, we are in stand still traffic. The scene goes on without it. I haven’t eaten in 48 hours. I see a Jack-in-the-Box. I had a mental breakdown there. The bathroom didn’t work so the mascara dripping down my face was coming through the cracks of milk. I promise you this story has a happy ending.
I finally went back to the set, which was a house. It’s dark out now. I walk through the house and pass by 30 different people, crew, cast, all doing their jobs, working in a magical flow. Gear is passing by. Our actress pounds her fork into a mountain of mashed potatoes. It’s a symphony of controlled chaos. Everyone in the room was a stranger to me just a month ago. Now I know their dietary needs and their favorite flavors of La Croix. We all came together and made a feature film. All of this. All because one day I bought a one-way ticket to LA and decided to write something I felt passionate about. At that moment I forgot about the day I had. I was in disbelief at the magic swirling around me.
How did you build your audience on social media?
The honest answer is that I do not have an exact answer. There was no step by step guide to creating and building my social media audience. I can tell you that it was never planned. I had downloaded TikTok in 2020 since I was working for a social media brand at the time, and I just needed to understand the app. I begrudgingly created a profile and started swiping on content. For fun, I started posting some mini videos just to see how the algorithm worked. Then, I started to think how fun it would be to post content I thought was funny.
For a long time, the content got minimal views. I’d have a video here or there get a good chunk of views, likes, comments, and shares, but nothing major. Then I moved to New York in August of 2021, and made a video about being a main character moving to New York from Alabama. I woke up to 1 million views, 30k followers, and more likes and comments then I could even read. It was truly overnight.
I realized with that many eyeballs, and no other people controlling what I made, I could actually make content I cared about. I was already pre-producing “Lady Parts,” so why not talk about vaginal health care on a platform that could reach people worldwide. It didn’t matter to me about the views or likes. Sometimes I would be in a slump about it, but then get a message from someone who was struggling with vaginismus and was so excited to see my content about it. After reading those, I could make a thousand more videos.
My advice to others would be to stop worrying so much about the views, likes, comments, and shares. Instead focus on the content itself and ask yourself why are you sharing this. Is it something you are passionate about? Is it something you find funny? Does it fit within your niche or brand? If you keep talking about what you are passionate about, eventually your audience will find you and follow along. There will be good days and bad days. Take a screenshot of those moments where you had a great comment or message. Pull them up on a not so great day.
Lastly, don’t read all your comments. No matter what you have to say, not everyone will agree. It will lead you down a rabbit hole that is not worth your time or energy. Just continue looking at the positive feedback and creating what you like. 
Contact Info:
- Website: www.bonnie-gross.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ladyparts_film/
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bonnie-gross-4258b075/
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/Cinna__BON
- TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@shake_ur_bonbon?lang=en
- Lady Parts: https://ladypartsfilm.com/
Image Credits
Khayman Brunswick