Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Blaire Hosfeldt-Ward. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.

Blaire, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. Was there a defining moment in your professional career? A moment that changed the trajectory of your career?

Relationships have been my greatest teacher. I experienced what seems like a lifetime’s worth of heartbreak several times at a young age and each time, I was rocked to my core. I was overwhelmed by the pain and how deeply I felt and it eventually impacted my mental and physical health, leading me into a decade long battle with both. I felt like I struggled with love more than most, so I made it my mission to understand it better with the hope that if I learned everything I could about love, I could eventually help myself, then other people who also struggled with it.

I ended up deciding to perform what I believe to be the first and largest dating social experiment and dated hundreds of men around the world, then wrote about it with a pseudonym on an online blog. The blog quickly gained popularity and I later published it as a book, which has inspired many other dating authors and also a movie. This may seem like an extreme way for a person to go about understanding love, but I believe this approach was what was required for me to obtain the depth and breadth of knowledge I was seeking.

My defining moment happened when I had fallen in love with one of the men I had met at the end of my dating social experiment and found myself heartbroken once more. The moment I received the break up phone call from him, I remember dropping to the floor in my kitchen, curling into a ball and crying. I clutched my stomach and sobbed. Everything in my body hurt. but even though the heartbreak was the strongest I’d ever felt, what felt stronger was a deep sense of knowing that came over me in that moment. I took a deep breath and knew if I could get through this pain, it would be my job to help others to do the same. I would turn my mess into a message and now help people like me.

So, it was soon after that I finally left my 9-5 in the entertainment industry and moved to Scotland to pursue my MSc in Healthy Psychology. Different from many relationship coaches, I put an emphasis on the mind-body connection and physical health of an individual or couple because I believe to the bottom of my heart that in order to have health in your relationships, you need to be as healthy as possible as well. I now run a business as a certified Life Coach with the Institute for Life Coaches and am pursuing licensure with the International Coaching Federation and a Board Certification with the Center for Credentialing and Education as well as my doctorate (PsyD) in Clinical Psychology.

I’ve helped thousands of singles and couples around the world find better love with themselves and ultimately with someone else. I’ve supported people in navigating the dating landscape, finding the parter of their dreams, saving their relationship or taking it to the next level and it’s been hard work, but the most meaningful work of my life because at the end of the day, I believe everyone wants and deserves to have love for themselves and with others!

In reflection, I didn’t really choose this career path, I felt like it chose me or I had no other choice when I was thrust into it and that’s what you’ll hear from many people when they’re talking about how they found their career. If you’re doing what you’re passionate about or even if you’re not passionate about anything, but you’re putting effort into exploring yourself to figure it out, it’ll one day just come to you and when it does, it’s best to hold on to it. Finding your purpose is one of the greatest gifts in life.

As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?

I described a bit of this in the first question. I’m Blaire- a Relationship Coach, Consultant, Author and Speaker with a BA in Communication (USA) an emphasis in Health Communication (Thailand) and a MSc in Health Psychology (United Kingdom) and am pursuing my Doctorate in Clinical Psychology. I work with clients primarily in Los Angels and London, but also around the world. I work with singles and couples on love, dating, relationships and modern romance. I help people find the partner of their dreams or couples who want their relationship to survive and thrive. My approach is unique from other relationship coaches, as I’m not just giving people tips and tricks to be successful daters or lovers- I coach clients holistically, addressing their mental and physical health and this gets them results beyond what they could have even imagined. I meet with clients weekly in private sessions 1×1 virtually, (sometimes in person) and host a free monthly accountability group that is exclusive, but open for anyone to apply to join. I also coach 1 new person a week for free who can not afford consistent coaching.

The pathway to my career has been through formal and informal routes. I’ve pursued the proper education, credentialing, licensure, degrees, certifications, etc. to be considered legitimate by people who care about those things and also because I love to learn, but really, I feel like what prepped me best for this career was my personal experience and my hands-on experience with clients, getting them results. I also worked alongside great minds in the self-development space while I lived in LA and was lucky to learn from and observe some of the best coaches this world has to offer in my opinion.

I am most proud of my clients. They’ve changed their lives for the better and I’ve been able to support them in doing so. It’s the best feeling in the world to watch someone develop self-love, find their dream partner, or create a deeper love with their current partner. Watching their eyes light up will never get old for me.

I’d like potential clients to know that my approach is eccentric and will take them to places they weren’t necessarily expecting. If you choose to work with me, you’ll be embarking on a grand adventure for sure, but it’s worth it and it works. I work best with people with open minds; who are ready to work hard toward their goals, who are willing to try anything to achieve their dreams. Love is not for the faint of heart. The work that will need to be done is not easy. Finding true love requires strength, faith and trust.

Learning and unlearning are both critical parts of growth – can you share a story of a time when you had to unlearn a lesson?

So many people out there are calling themselves coaches and in my opinion, aren’t doing it right. Many people also call themselves therapists and are also not doing it right. Most are drawn to this career because they want to “help” people, but the truth is, the “help” will have little impact unless the person they’re working with learns to help themselves. My goal isn’t to create this relationship where the client depends on me. I want them to learn to depend on themselves and get to the point where working with my is simply optional.

The trouble with the coaching, therapy, helping, healing industries, is that many people in these professions want to tell their client, patient, what to do… direct them…give them advice… The truth is, throwing advice at someone is just a bandaid on a wound that needs stitches and although many of us have expertise that warrant us giving sound advice, it’s not what I’d say 90% of clients really truly need. The information to succeed is out there. If it were easy, anyone would do it. People seek coaches and or therapy because they’re having trouble “doing it.” and THAT is what needs to be addressed in sessions.

Leaders in these industries need to stop practicing from a directive relationship approach and need to begin practicing from a collaborative approach with their clients. Trust me, I have plenty of experience in dating and relationships and could easily have people pay me to tell them exactly what to do. In fact, I still do consulting sometimes. It’s easier to do that by the way, but it’s a lesson I had to unlearn in coaching and therapy as it’s not what gets people the results they TRULY desire in the long run.

The back story? I just kept telling clients what to do because they were asking me to, but time and time again, they’d come back without results. This got frustrating for all involved after a while so finally, I began having my clients come up with what to do and I’d just support them in doing so . When you create space for clients to come up with their own plan, they are much more likely to follow it.

Are there any books, videos, essays or other resources that have significantly impacted your management and entrepreneurial thinking and philosophy?

I’ve studied probably all I can about relationships and love and I’ll always continue to study, but if you want to understand this topic well, the best thing to do is to study your clients. I’m careful about what information I consume, who I’m listening or reading because I want to use my mind and create my own opinion about subjects in my field. I actively avoid hearing what other people have to say about this or that. I am enough. My mind is enough to help the people I’m supposed to help and when I make my brain work instead of looking for answers elsewhere, I more often than not, come to the best conclusion. I’d actually advise people in the psychology field to follow this same pattern. Study everything you can in school- be a sponge and absorb it all… Then, go through a decluttering process. Stop listening to the noise and begin to just listen to your own mind. Real magic happens when you try this!

Contact Info:

• Website: www.blaireward.com
• Instagram: blaireward
• Linkedin: blaireward
• Twitter: blaireward
• Other: You can buy my book, 10 Dudes, on Amazon. My TikTok is also @blaireward I’m a private person and my business is primarily word of mouth- I don’t advertise too much on social media and you can’t figure out about my business too much on there. If people want to connect with me, it’s best to fill the contact box out on my website or just email me directly at [email protected]!