We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Bertha Bay-sa Pan. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Bertha Bay-Sa below.

Bertha Bay-Sa, thanks for joining us, excited to have you contributing your stories and insights. One of the toughest things about progressing in your creative career is that there are almost always unexpected problems that come up – problems that you often can’t read about in advance, can’t prepare for, etc. Have you had such and experience and if so, can you tell us the story of one of those unexpected problems you’ve encountered?

FACE, the first feature film i wrote and directed, despite its privileged Sundance world premiere and the slew of accolades and awards received, the following 17 years had been blow after blow till i just closed my eyes in order to get by. But what i was forced to face during Covid lockdown when for the first time there was no more busyness to escape to — was the fact that the original culprit was neither the bullies nor the battering, but my own passivity in being bulldozed from one sh*tty occurrence to the next. As a mentor observed: i was great at the creating and crafting of projects, but bad at protecting and promoting them. Truth is i love hiding behind the camera, behind other people’s stories, didn’t realize though how i was deflecting and disassociating from being present for my own life, and by numbing and neglecting instead of showing up for myself, my film – and the hard work of hundreds of colleagues who had invested their time and talents – sadly suffered as a result, and the consequences continued to compile. Been an interesting journey to recognize after all this time whether coaching actors or speaking on storytelling, how i’ve always encouraged others to engage in the moment, and embrace their true selves including both the beautiful parts and the broken parts, without dismissing or downplaying either for the other to be true, yet when it came to myself i did not practice what i preached.

Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.

Born in New Jersey and raised in Taiwan, I grew up reading and writing both English and Mandarin, shifting regularly between urban Taipei and suburbias across America, adjusting and readjusting to the rigorous rules of Chinese martial law, while rebelling through rock n’ roll and comic books. With the constant switches between schools, countries and cultures, i developed at an early age the skill to adapt to any new environment easily and read people quickly, while sketching graphic novels and writing music became my emotional outlet, which led to a translation gig for Whitney Houston when I was seventeen, followed by various roles in the industry. These experiences eventually shaped me into a perpetually curious observer of human behavior; a storyteller fascinated by deeply flawed yet irresistibly lovable characters; an actor’s director who also draws her own storyboards and schematics, with lighting, music, sounds and scents in mind; an avid fan of efficient team work; a leader with a vision for the big picture as well as an eye for details, making hearty meals out of tiny moments for the screen, while behind the scenes regardless of chaos and complications, distill and simplify by respecting how everyone is wired differently and deciphering how to best communicate to each individual in order to bring the best out of them in the shortest amount of time for the shared common goal. Whether partnering with Oscar winning writers or sprinting on guerilla shoots, directing television regulars, mainstream movie stars, gangster rappers, pop culture phenomenons, or thespians with a collection of shiny statuettes – my enjoyment for the collaborative process is apparently pretty infectious, and as i’ve been told.. so is my laugh.

Is there mission driving your creative journey?

i’ve always been drawn to character driven stories with heart and humor, about humans who are flawed yet redeemable, wounded yet transformable, told with curiosity, humility, honesty, and wonderment — ones that bridge cultures, bring healing, and brew hope; preaching not just to the choir but to the doubters and skeptics, and to those who feel looked over or left behind. And in these progressively polarizing times, even the news we receive vary drastically in versions depending on algorithms or affinities, meanwhile in the name of diversity we are divided into even smaller boxes with taller borders; yet through film and television, any story can be brought into private homes or devices anywhere in the world, and when folks are just watching to be entertained or escape, engaging with guards down, that’s when emotional connections can be made, preconceived notions possibly changed, and commonality found — all by showing instead of telling, allowing the viewers to personally experience and arrive to their own conclusions. Perhaps that is why i chose a career of filming fiction in order to tell the truth…

Learning and unlearning are both critical parts of growth – can you share a story of a time when you had to unlearn a lesson?

Last year after hearing about the unexpected death of an iconic producer with whom i had just met months prior, a conversation we had resurfaced: “I can tell you’re an auteur” he said to me with an ironic tone when i insisted i am not; “auteurs” i said, “are directors who are geniuses and every story they tell are through their genius minds with their genius styles and they are the masters their created world serves; i am nowhere near a genius and don’t have a signature style, my work is about serving the characters and their perspectives, seeing and sensing the world through their lens not my own.” He leaned in and pointed: “That, is your auteurship.” At the time i brushed it off as semantics, but his sudden death made me revisit. Kept thinking about this press interview i did around the same time which had asked: “What’s one area of your life that you are trying to own wholeheartedly and become the best version of yourself in?” My answer though truthful and hopefully helpful to others in some way, when reflecting i recognized my hardwiring of going straight to past mistakes and shortcomings, but how i also need to own my strengths and gifts, not just via internal confidence which i’ve always had, but through external articulation (without wanting to throw up in my mouth) for a fuller picture of who i am as a director/leader/storyteller. A year-and-a-half later though still not sold on self definitions (can’t even comprehend why “i” is supposed to be capitalized), am truly grateful for that random exchange which in hindsight felt like a divine appointment, maybe not as much about unlearning a lesson but more about seeing a past pattern which only showed a part of myself, and learning to share more of the whole self i bring to each table.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.slewpictures.com
• Instagram: @berthabpan
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bertha-bay-sa-pan-4090485/
• Other: https://vimeo.com/user10911455

Image Credits

1. Directing Bai Ling on FACE. Photo by JoJo Whilden
2. With FACE cinematographer John Inwood & co-producer Jonathan Shoemaker. Photo by JoJo Whilden
3. Directing Quinn McColgan on LUCY IN THE SKY. Photo by Topher Maslanka
4. Directing Whoopi Goldberg on LUCY IN THE SKY. Photo by Topher Maslanka
5. Directing Dawn-Lyen Gardner & Tammy Townsend on QUEEN SUGAR. Photo by Lisa France
6. Directing Dawn-Lyen Gardner on QUEEN SUGAR. Photo by Skip Bolen
7. With ALMOST PERFECT crew. Photo by JoJo Whilden
8. Directing Roger Rees & Tina Chen on ALMOST PERFECT. Photo by JoJo Whilden