We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Bella Castillon a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Alright, Bella thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. Are you happier as a creative? Do you sometimes think about what it would be like to just have a regular job? Can you talk to us about how you think through these emotions?

“Am I good enough?” “Should I just do something else with my life?”, “What’s all this effort for? Is it worth it?” These questions –more like intrusive thoughts ending with a question mark– are always in the back of my head; our work–and I guess our success too– as artists and/or creators depends so much on the outside eyes of the world that we cannot help but let the thought of what other people would think of us consume us; we are in constant communication with rejection and naturally, as sensitive human beings, we cry and we hurt and we doubt and we start to wonder. I’m assuming this is a common collective feeling among artists, I might be wrong, all I know is that this is how I feel.

Beofore I decided to go to college for Musical Theater and Acting in the US –since those majors are very limited in México, only a few universities have a good curriculum–I was looking for different options in my own country. I was very close to being an art historian, cultural manager or a journalist and sometimes I do go back to that time and ponder what it would’ve been like; it’s funny that I see myself in the most unrealistic scenarios doing the most “real” jobs: working at a gallery in Tribeca or Soho like Charlotte York from Sex and the City or playing hero and defying the press like Louis Lane. As much as I love and cherish those characters, being a gallerist or a journalist means so much more than what they portray and sometimes, I think that I would’ve loved to get to do the “real” thing and go through the “real world” struggles. And then a thought runs through my veins and body, gives me goosebumps and goes. Who says acting or singing or playwriting is not the real thing?

In Musical Theater school a teacher of mine once said to us – make sure you really love this, because if you know you love something else more, save yourself the trouble and do that – Going to auditions, training yourself every day, having to memorize thousands of sides in the middle of the night because you have a call back the next day, getting an agent, learning how to budget because you are unemployed and your parents are still sending you a bit of money to survive at the age of 24, getting really expensive headshots, not booking anything and hear nothing back from that one audition that you thought you nailed and as an international artist, making sure you have your work permit ready and settled or change your life plan; that sounds like a real struggle to me. So, every time a think of doing something else and throwing in the towel–which is more often than I would like to admit–I remind myself that this profession is as real as any other.

Being part of the art community means that you constantly need to remind yourself that what separates us from the rest is that artists are more aware of momentary success, therefore when we achieve it, we embrace it wholeheartedly; and that feeling is the most accelerating, rewarding, fulfilling and illuminating thing in the world, worth all the trials and tribulations, worth all the money, worth the social look down, worth the intrusive thoughts, and worth the decision of choosing to follow your dreams no matter your social context. So yeah, I think about doing something else a lot, but I literally cannot see myself doing anything differently. Acting, singing and writing are like drinking water to me, I cannot live without it even if I wanted to.

Is there something you think non-creatives will struggle to understand about your journey as a creative?

My family is somewhat divided into two schools of thought, the creatives and the businesspeople. Many debates have taken place between these two groups about general philosophical topics, however, something that comes up often is the fact that non-creatives might never understand that when you are drawn to make art and you are extraordinarily attracted to live the life of an artists and convey messages through art is difficult to enjoy a regular job. You are always thinking about what you can create and different ideas for your next project. You are always over-analyzing and being observant of people so you can have a conversation about it after or so you can create something out of that. Plus, a “regular job” seems too mundane, artists often seek other wordily experiences which explains why our imagination tends to be comparable as one of a child. We wonder and live in our thoughts full of curiosity. Not to say that we are incapable of working outside of the arts, it’s just a lot harder for artists to be fulfilled by stability rather than stimulation.

Are there any resources you wish you knew about earlier in your creative journey?

Networking! Meeting people is the most important thing in this industry. Do not be shy, reach out to people you would like to work with and always put yourself out there –easier said than done, I know–. More specific resources I guess would be rush tickets, AMC promotions or membership, and the Lincoln Center Performing Arts Library. It’s abundantly important to consume art so you can learn and soak yourself in inspiration and wisdom, and with these recommendations you can do it for a lot cheaper.

Contact Info:

• Instagram: @bellacastillon_

Image Credits
Daniel Blanco
Jesus Villanueva
Andrew Alstat