We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Becky Whetstone a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Alright, Becky thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. What’s the best advice you ever gave to a client? How did they benefit / what was the result? (Please note this response is for education/entertainment purposes only and shouldn’t be construed as advice for the reader)
My best advice for clients is to take relationships seriously and invest the time necessary to learn how to maintain a healthy one. My clients who dedicate themselves to learning achieve fantastic results. The ones who don’t, don’t. I believe the average person requires hundreds of hours of study, plus therapy, and then should spend the rest of their life learning and growing from that point forward
I scream this from the rooftops, hoping more people will hear me, but getting people to do the work that would make all the difference is not easy, but I’m not giving up.
Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.
Becky Whetstone, Ph.D. Biography
Becky Whetstone is an Arkansas native and is the author of the book, I (Think) I Want Out: What to Do When One of You Wants to End Your Marriage,” published by HCI Books. She has a Ph.D. in Marriage and Family Therapy from St. Mary’s University in San Antonio, Texas, and has been licensed since 2006. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) and has an LMFT license in Arkansas Texas.
Speaking of Arkansas, Becky was born in El Dorado, a town in the south-central part of Arkansas, and moved to Little Rock with her family when she was 10. She graduated from Parkview High School in 1976. In 1984, she moved to San Antonio, where she lived and worked for 26 years. In December 2011, she moved to Arkansas to be near family, and Becky opened her Little Rock practice in January 2012. Becky sees all of her clients via telehealth.
Education and Early Experience.
In 1980, Becky graduated with a BA in Journalism from GWU, and in 1984, she moved to Texas and became a housewife and mother. In the early 1990s, she entered the field of journalism by interning at the San Antonio CBS affiliate, KENS TV, as a medical reporter. Soon after she began freelancing for the San Antonio Express-News, she was hired there in 1994 as a features writer. In 1996, she started writing about relationships in a column that ran in the SA Life section — she was thinking, “Watch out Ann Landers!”
While writing the column, Becky created an area-wide phenomenon called the Singles Revolution dedicated to professional singles who were seeking to have healthy relationships. She convened get-togethers that backed up traffic in San Antonio’s Quarry shopping center and facilitated a singles volunteer force that cleaned up and remodeled a deteriorating playground at a local San Antonio elementary school. While Becky spoke to singles about how to lead a better life, she also wrote about her own life as a single mother and about the lives of many South Texans — married, gay, families, stepfamilies, and seniors — who wanted to have better relationships with themselves and others. Only now, looking back, Becky believes her column was the FIRST of the Sex and the City genre that became so popular almost 10 years later.
In 1998, Becky left the paper and began writing a column for the North San Antonio Times.
She also began discussing relationships on the NBC affiliate KMOL’s San Antonio Living Show with then-host Tanji Patton, as well as the am radio news talk station, WOAI 1200. As more and more people in South Texas began to turn to Becky for relationship advice, she felt the need to bring more depth to what she knew and to expand her knowledge, so in 2001, she entered graduate school. In 2002, she began seeing clients as a therapist, and in 2003, Becky received her master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from St. Mary’s University. After graduation, she entered the doctoral program there and graduated with a Ph.D. in 2006 – this achievement was one of the most challenging of her life. Her dissertation research investigated how individuals in long-term marriages (10 years or longer) decide to divorce. The information she learned during this extensive research project changed the way Becky views courtship, marriage, and divorce, and has made her even more passionate about helping people have healthy relationships.
Luckily, she writes on the Medium platform today. She has been published numerous times on The Huffington Post and quoted as an expert on platforms such as Newsweek, The London Times, and others. She’s also a frequent Podcast guest and hosts her own YouTube Channel, Marriage Crisis Manager. It’s just all part of Becky’s plan for everyone to have access to great relationship information.
Becky’s areas of interest include personal growth, trauma, human mate selection, the courtship process, the agony of the divorce decision, grief, divorce recovery, and the experiences of children of divorce. She has spent thousands of hours studying and researching these subjects, creating a way to fill the void in marriage therapy training for couples in crisis. She developed a way of helping couples on the brink called marriage crisis management, and has helped thousands of couples since 2006. She coaches individuals and couples, guiding them through the entire process from start to finish, ensuring they make the most informed decisions for their families.
In February 2025, her book, I (Think) I Want Out: What to Do When One of You Wants to End Your Marriage, was published, and Becky hopes the book will help therapists learn more about helping couples in crisis and help couples in crisis get quality, research-based information to help them. She trains therapists in how to manage marriage crises, and her goal is to make this intervention more commonly known and available. The demand for the work is enormous.
Can you tell us about a time you’ve had to pivot?
I have always wanted to be a writer for a newspaper, specifically in the features department, and as an advice columnist. This was next to impossible without any experience, but after my divorce in 1993, it was the only thing I wanted to do. For two years, I persevered and eventually got the job. Being a columnist for the San Antonio Express-News was a fantastic experience, and local radio and TV shows began having me as a regular guest on their shows. It was extremely popular.
The newspaper business began to change, and people were getting laid off. I was criticized by local citizens and the mental health professional community for not having the necessary credentials to offer relationship advice, so I decided to shut them all up and go to graduate school in marriage and family therapy. I ended up going for five years and getting my doctorate, and the rest is history. I am now a writer and an MFT, and my goal is to provide quality information to everyone on how to maintain healthy relationships. My book, “I (Think) I want Out: What to Do When One of You Wants to End Your Marriage,” was published in February 2025.
Training and knowledge matter of course, but beyond that what do you think matters most in terms of succeeding in your field?
Right-brained therapists are rare, but I am one. I think that helps me in numerous ways. Not only can I write content, but I can also design graphics, make and edit videos, and create online classes from start to finish. I think that my outgoing and friendly personality has given me a huge boost.
What has surprised me the most is the impact writing a blog has had on my business. I attract clients from all over the world through my writing, to my dismay. I am grateful for my unique gifts that have helped me in my profession.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.MarriageCrisisManager.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doctorbecky/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/relationshipcrisismanager/
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/marriagecrisismanager/
- Twitter: @DoctorWhet39751
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageCrisisManager
