We recently connected with Barbara Palmer and have shared our conversation below.
Barbara, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. Can you open up about a risk you’ve taken – what it was like taking that risk, why you took the risk and how it turned out?
In 2016 I had worked for the same corporation for 39 years. The Company was very good to me, and I enjoyed my position. However, I felt it was time for me to leave this “good paying job” working for someone else so I could fulfill my dream of assisting newly diagnosed breast cancer patients through their journey in a more impactful way and perhaps pursue other ways I could help my community and even perhaps the world.
I sat at my desk one day in August 2016, and wrote on a piece of paper that I would retire in the first quarter of 2017. I took this piece of paper home and hung these words on a wall in my bedroom. Now let me mention that at the time I made this decision, I had not prepared myself financially the way that I should have, especially since it was just me and I was the only person I would be able to count on financially. Nevertheless, knowing this, I still knew that retirement was something I needed to do the following year. All I kept thinking was that I was allowed to beat cancer’s butt twice and I was kept alive for a reason so I would have to have faith and hope and follow my heart’s desire. On April 1, 2017, I became a retiree, and it could not have happened at a better time. My oldest brother, whom I was estranged from, was very ill and I became his caregiver for 15 months which included 9 months after my retirement. I always tell people to please forgive those who have hurt us because you never know when one of you will be leaving this earth and you did not make amends. Being able to spend time with my brother was one of the most exhilarating experiences I have ever had. Being a caregiver is very difficult, but I would not change anything and I so cherish the many beautiful memories we shared before his death. Unfortunately, my brother died in January of 2018, but we so enjoyed each other up to his death. I would not trade this experience for anything in the world. Being able to connect with him before his passing is one of God’s greatest gifts to me thus far. Upon my brother’s death, it was now time for me to move on to make a difference in the lives of others. It was time for me to “Dare To Live Boldly” even at my age.
Barbara, love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?
I am a two-time 20-year breast cancer survivor who battled cancer in 2003 and 2011. In 2003 I had a lumpectomy followed by chemotherapy and then radiation. Once I finished my treatment in December 2003, I realized right away my purpose and passion would be to assist other women through their breast cancer journey on a one-to-one basis.
In 2011 my cancer returned to the same breast, and it required that I have a mastectomy. Armed with that knowledge, I decided to have a double mastectomy. I look at my second battle with cancer as a blessing. The reason is because when I was assisting women through their journey after my first diagnosis, I was not able to fully understand how a mastectomy could negatively impact women who was going to have a mastectomy or had already had one. You know the saying, “unless you have walked in someone else’s shoes”, you truly do not understand what they are going through. In 2003 I was able to understand the effects of cancer treatment, but not the loss of a breast. Now that I have had a mastectomy, I can understand the additional emotional and mental challenges some women go through when losing their breast(s). I help women understand that having scars and one breast or no breasts does not define you as a woman. Losing your hair does not define you as a woman either. I personally wear my head shaved to show women you are still beautiful regardless of your physical appearance. With your hair loss you are now bolder and more beautiful than ever.
A lot of women who have faced a breast cancer journey love to support newly diagnosed breast cancer patients so what makes me so different? Fortunately, even as a young person I learned to laugh at situations which were challenging for me. It is very difficult to laugh when you are going through cancer treatment. You are extremely fatigued, cannot eat, cannot taste your food when you can eat and cannot enjoy some of the activities you used to before your treatment. These are only a few of the hardships that may occur when you are receiving cancer treatment. It is especially hard when your hair starts to fall out in clumps, and you look like a cartoon character. I can help women find laughter in their very challenging journey of breast cancer. It brings me great joy when I hear a patient laugh when they really want to cry.
As a breast cancer survivor, I noticed you could basically only find breast cancer accessories in the month of October…National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. However, as we all know, breast cancer is not an illness that only happens in the month of October. Breast cancer is an illness that strikes 365 days a year. As a breast cancer survivor who loves to wear breast cancer accessories and t-shirts, I thought maybe this was something I should embark on. Therefore, I started my courageous diva online store as well as a website that is a one stop shop filled with resources for newly diagnosed breast cancer patients. So much information is given to you when you are initially diagnosed with breast cancer, that it is hard to absorb or even want to listen to. The resources on my website include financial support, emotional support, free retreats, etc. for breast cancer patients. I will also accompany women to their first doctor’s appointment after diagnosis as well as accompany them to their cancer treatment.
I am especially proud and grateful that I was able to survive breast cancer twice. I am in a good position to be a resource for breast cancer patients as well as encourage, inspire and give them hope. I have always wanted to make a difference in breast cancer and another opportunity was given to me in 2022. I am a patient advisor to one of the hospitals in Baltimore. I am the voice of the patient and am given the opportunity to speak to healthcare professionals, oncologists and researchers about what needs to be done to address health disparities in the cancer community as well as what needs to be done to recruit more people to participate in clinical trials and research.
Let’s talk about resilience next – do you have a story you can share with us?
When going through my first battle with cancer in 2003, I got so sick after my second cancer treatment that I wanted to die. At this point my hair had started to fall out in clumps, I was always tired and when I tried to eat anything, it just came back up. When I was able to eat, the food tasted like metal. I was unable to do two of my favorite things…. make love and eat. In addition, I had a headache so bad one night that I was afraid to go to sleep for fear I was going to have an aneurysm. My question was…. why am I still here? One of my friends (who had been through breast cancer herself) reminded me this was only a temporary situation…. not permanent. Another friend started to do a countdown each time I finished a chemotherapy treatment. This awful experience with cancer treatment side effects helped me realize that I was not the only woman who had gone through these side effects, and they are just fine now. I realized if I just hung in there, I would be able to assist other women with hope and encouragement when they felt like giving up. With the love and support of these two wonderful friends I made it through and before I knew it my treatment was over!
Any stories or insights that might help us understand how you’ve built such a strong reputation?
Although I am a very compassionate and empathetic person, more importantly, I am authentic. I keep it real even with difficult conversations that may require I give you a response you may not want to hear. I have the courage to tell people the truth with love and kindness. As a result, I have earned a reputation of not only being funny, but also being honest and true not just to myself but to you as well.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://courageousdiva2011.com/ ; https://www.courageousdivaonlinestore.com/
- Facebook: facebook.com/CourageousDiva
Image Credits
Jeanette Byrd Ken Rochon