We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Bárbara Hermor. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Bárbara below.
Bárbara, thanks for joining us, excited to have you contributing your stories and insights. Can you talk to us about a project that’s meant a lot to you?
Since I was a kid, I remember having a lot of questions about religion. I was born Catholic and my mother would force us (me and my 2 siblings) to go to church every Sunday, confess our sins to the priest, sing in the chorus and be part of all the activities, rituals, ceremonies, holidays, festivities,..
Years after, still Catholic and now being part of a missionary group, I decided that I wanted to go further and know more. By coincidence, or not, I saw a documentary on the Discovery Channel about a Christian illusionist, Brock Gill, recreating the miracles of Jesus (of course, the idea was not to debunk the miracles, but all the contrary). I felt a connection with him and I found out he had a blog where he was writing every day (the blog era, this was in 2003). I started reading his blog religiously every day and I would make sure to make a comment about it. After one year and 3 months commenting everyday, by coincidence, or not, I was in Dallas Tx on vacation and he made a post that he was going to be in Houston in 3 days, (btw, I am from Mexico, and I was living in Mexico at the time). I ran to ask my Aunt if it was possible for me to go see him, of course this would involve taking a bus, a cab and staying somewhere by myself, I was 19 at the time. To my surprise, she allowed me to go. My comment on that day’s post was: I’ll see you there.
With a yellow post-it with a number and the name of a road, I took the bus, and neither my Aunt, my Uncle or myself thought about a place for me to sleep that night… When I got there I took a cab and at the time there were no phones with a location map, the 45 minute ride was not only expensive, but terrifying! I didn’t know a lot of English and I asked the taxi driver about 3 times “we are going here right?”. To my fortune, I got to the place, I met Brock and Auny (his wife) and we clicked instantly, that night I converted to Christianity and without thinking, they booked a room for me to stay. I left with 2 tasks: to find an Evangelical Christian community and a Bible study. They asked me to volunteer next year at a show on Disney and then they asked me to join their next year’s 6 months tour to evangelize the south east part of the United States. Unfortunately my mind wasn’t strong enough, I was only able to do 3.
Back home, I found an Evangelical Christian community and a Bible study recommended by all my new Christian friends, but by coincidence or not, it was with a Rabbi. A study with Hebrew roots and Jewish interpretations. I started learning Hebrew, celebrating the Christian and Jewish holidays, but then I became more Jewish than Christian. And I studied the Bible for 4 years and by coincidence or not, 10 days after I got my first tattoo in Hebrew, I threw the Bible out the window.
I became atheist, started to study philosophy and opened my photography business, and a few years later, a friend asked me to do a photoshoot for her. To my surprise, it was her final project for an Art diploma, and it was going to be reviewed by one of the best curators in Mexico, Olga Margarita Dávila. Of course I was involved in the process because I was the photographer. The curator loved the pictures so much that she convinced me to study art, take an art residency and to this day she is my curator and mentor.
I started my art path, without ever intending to be an artist, without a project, a vision or even without the belief that I could one day be a real artist.
Right now I am continuing studying religions. Studying philosophy I started to study eastern/Buddhism philosophy, and later I lived upstate New York in the Kadampa Buddhist temple for 11 months, studying with my Teacher: Gen Samten. I did the Ramadan in 2022 and started reading the Quran. And my first art project, that is still in progress, is about The Genesis, because I decided to start from the beginning, to my surprise I think I might die studying the beginning. I am studying the genesis not just from different religions but from different cultures, like the Maya, Summer, Assyria, Babylonia, Egypt, Greek, Gnostics, Agnostics, Mystics and even Quantum physics theories.
So far, my pieces of Adam and Eve have been shown in a couple of exhibitions in New York (where I live now). Other pieces related to the project have been shown in museums and galleries in Mexico. And for me this project is the most meaningful I have because it started with an innocent doubt since I have memory in my childhood, and all my research and studies, that at some point I felt they were going nowhere, finally end up giving me the biggest light in my life, giving a direction in my life, giving my life a meaning, and most importantly giving me the biggest happiness that I know nothing else can give me. And this is priceless for me.
Sometimes we feel we are doing things for no reason, we feel we are wasting time learning, studying, or even giving too much time to some person, a job, some other matter or even reading this long text… But I have discovered that there’s no coincidences in life. Everything comes to us for a reason, everything also goes for a reason too, and the lessons that we learn with each and every thing we do is a step in our journey to grow and to put us closer to know and understand who we really are and what is our purpose in this life.
Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers.
My name is Bárbara HerMor, I am originally from a small Mexican town called Muzquiz, where the “Kikapú” tribe, natives of that land, still own a piece of it; where a group of black slaves freed themselves from slavery after they crossed to Mexico with the US army on the 1846 war, “Los Negros Mascogos”; and where the river “Sabinas” is born, you can see the water pouring from the ground, so beautiful.
Since I was little I was very curious, I asked a lot of questions, I wanted to know and understand everything. My mom, of course, sometimes didn’t have the answers, and my dyslexia prevented me from starting researching until my adult life. Reading was for me, a torture, until my doubts began to be bigger tortures than reading. So, in my early life I dedicate my life to observe and analyse my surroundings. Later on I was diagnosed with Aspergers, which clarified a lot of things for me as well.
I always wanted to be an accountant, I love numbers, but for some reason, when I had to make the choice I decided to study Nutrition. My boyfriend started studying graphic design, and since his priority at the time was playing videogames, I was doing all his homework and learning everything about it to help him study for the exams. Then I started working in a production house and with professional photographers because I wanted to see my boyfriend and that’s where he started working. After I finished studying nutrition, I opened my consulting room just to close it 6 months later, with my calendar full of clients, but I was miserable, and I wanted to work with my now husband; so I became a photographer and we opened an advertising business.
Then we divorced and I started my own photography business, where I worked for big corporations and big brands of Saltillo, like Grupo CEGO, il Mercato, La Orquesta Filarmónica de Coahuila, and then working internationally for JCPenney and Sears. Also as a personal photographer to several important families of the city.
Then a friend of mine, Mayra Milano, asked me to do the photography for her Art Diploma final project. The curator, Olga Margarita Dávila, loved the pictures so much that she convinced me to start studying art and do a residency at the Museo de Artes Gráficas where I started my first art project about the Bible, and The Genesis. My art career started here. Now I’ve had multiple shows in Museums, galleries and venues in Mexico and the US.
My most recent move was to come to New York, I lived in a Buddhist temple upstate for 11 months and the last 2 and a half months I spent them on a silence retreat where I wrote my first book, I married a guy who was living 5 years at the temple because he wanted to become a monk and this was my second divorce. I was back in the city 4 years ago.
Let me tell you, everything around my life is so bizarre, and auspicious… the universe always conspired to put all the obstacles possible, but the wish and desire in my heart have been stronger than any barriers. I struggled for a few years and I lived the worst hell possibly imaginable with my second marriage. But after the storm the calm comes. Now I am fine, and very grateful for every little and big challenge that came to me. Each one of them made me more resilient, stronger, wiser, patient, made me understand more, brought light, clarity and direction to my life. Things you can’t buy in a store or acquire from a book. And actually I am publishing my first book this year, I am in the design phase and probably next year I will publish the second one with one of the stories brought to the big screen, my first film is coming soon too.
Nothing in my life came to me easy or as I planned, everything has been a journey of failures, obstacles, disappointments, divorces, bankruptcies, challenges, bewitchments… nothing normal or obvious matches with my story. A lot of the times I don’t even know what the f*** am I doing, why or for what. Feeling lost has been a constant, and my life is full of loops, dead ends and riddles that sometimes have made me crazy. But looking back, every single thing I’ve done has prepared me for my next challenge, my next chapter, the next step. I couldn’t make a more perfect plan for what I am living and the challenges I am facing now. Surrendering myself to my fate had brought me to unimaginable places, unbelievable knowledge, meeting incredible people, and being someone I never thought I could be.
Can you tell us about a time you’ve had to pivot?
I was a very successful and respectful photographer before art came to my life, I was living “my dream”. I bought the car of my dreams, I was able to travel 2-3 times a year, and I was about to buy a 3 bedroom house, I literally cancelled the paperwork the night before signing the contract because I took the decision to move to New York and pursue my art career, even though I didn’t even consider myself an artist at the time, and I even had doubts I could ever become one, or at least, a good/decent one.
Everything started with a word in my chest/heart: New York. All my life, I spent it telling everyone that the last city I wanted to go to was New York. And I learned, not just from this experience but from other ones that happened in my life, that you should Never say NEVER, because you will end up doing/eating/making/going to… that single thing sometime in the future. Or at least, most likely…
After my first divorce, my photography business started growing very fast. I couldn’t handle it, not because I was unable, but because I was not mentally prepared. So, my friend Ricky (a very successful business man), probably noticed that and recommended me to take a “mindfulness” course. And I had to admit I took it just because HE recommended it, I was totally and completely in love with him, I could of jump off a cliff if he recommended that instead, but to my luck, he recommended one of the things that changed my life forever, not just in my career, but in a personal, emotional and psychological level. I was able to cure my chronic depression, be more focused, efficient and happy (the best gift ever, thank you Ricky).
Later on, I started to consume all business advice content on YouTube like crazy. And since Ricky was a Tony Robbins fan, well, I became his fan as well. I remember telling him that one day I would go see him. And then this little word appeared in my heart: New York, New York… I even saw the name everywhere, on publicity, panoramic, when I was at my friends house, on tea time I would get the “I love New York” mug. Signs were everywhere, but I had a few questions: Why New York? Why not another city? I don’t want to go there. So I avoided the call for over a year. Until I bought my new car, I swear, when the lady put the keys in my hand, the instant the key touched my palm, the first thought that came from my heart was: road trip to New York. And I was like: what? Road trip, yes; to New York? No, I’ll do a road trip somewhere else.
I went to a few cities with my car, and a few months after, a notification came to my phone from the Tony Robbins app (of course I had the app and everything). “Tony Robbins in New York, buy one ticket, get one free, just today”. My instant thought: why New York? And then I thought… well, for some reason I have this stupid feeling of going there, maybe I can kill two birds in one shot. Message to Ricky: Hey, there’s a two-for-one ticket to see Tony Robbins in New York, let’s go! To which Ricky responded: I can’t go. So I entered the website and there was a 40% discount if you purchase just one ticket. It was all the money I had left on my credit card, and I bought it at 11:28pm. The show was in 3 months. I put all my packages with a 20% discount, I created a few workshops and worked 16-18 hours a day, Monday to Sunday those 3 months. I can’t explain how exhausted and disappointed I was the day before traveling. The Universe conspired “against” me, and as if all my clients gathered together and agreed to delay my payment, I only had 400 dollars on my credit card, no money on my bank account and adding all the money my clients owed me was the sum of 5,000 dollars. UNBELIEVABLE. All my work, for Nothing!
Probably most of you would cancel the trip at this point. I said: there’s no way I am canceling this trip, I am f****** going, I trust everything will fall into place. I planned to go for 20 days, 8 days on the round trip road, and 12 days in New York, and I only had 4 nights booked on a AirBnb and I had nowhere to sleep and not even money to eat, because the 400 dollars pretty much vanished in the road trip to get there.
I was lucky to have friends and family on the way where I stayed during the road trip (Wille, Gabriela, Stephany, her husband’s family and Mike). And then I got to New York, straight on time to the show. I don’t have words to explain how HAPPY I was, I cried of happiness, I felt I was going to explode from the feeling. I started sending messages to all my clients every single day, and I was repeating to myself: everything will be fine, everything will be fine, trust.
I used the 4 nights in the AirBnb and I contacted a good Friend, Lindsey, who was living in New York at the time. She allowed me to stay in her house for one night (I managed to extend it for 3 nights without telling her anything). She was also so kind to give me an interview for Storyteller. And then the quest began, Luckily one client sent me 50 dollars the 3rd night I was with my friend, and I booked a night in another AirBnb. The next day I only had 20 dollars either to eat or to find another bed to sleep, somewhere… I was walking and I entered to Etaly on the 24th street, I loved the place and I thought, I could be eating here with no problem and having a great time in New York if all my clients would have paid on time… but here I am, hungry and with no place to go. I sat in a bar, and I ordered spaghetti bolognese, the cheapest one, and maybe the only one I could afford. I ate it and at the end, another client made a 100 dollar deposit, and I was able to book 1 more night in another AirBnb and have some extra money to eat.
At the end of the next day I met Mike, I was walking around and in a corner a guy said “hello”, I was carrying my camera so he guessed I was a tourist. We started talking and he invited me to go with his friends to a bar, he paid my check that night, and another client sent 150 dollars, perfect to book the last 2 nights I had planned to stay in New York in Another AirBnb, and some extra money to eat.
When I bought the ticket to go see Tony Robbins, I had the idea of starting to follow New York artists on Instagram and interact with them so when I got there I could meet some artists. Well, I don’t remember how many artists I added but I had genuine contact with 3 of them. So before leaving, and now that I had my last 2 nights ensured, I decided to contact the 3 artists. Only one reply and we organized a meeting in his studio that night. I went to Mana Contemporary in Jersey to meet Alex Merrit. I still remember his silhouette backlit. There were no pictures on his Instagram, I didn’t know how old he was, how he looked, nothing. To my surprise he was actually a handsome man around my age… We clicked immediately and I never left the studio, his art inspired me to solve my collage problem I had with my Adam and Eve project. He recommended a place to take the pictures for the project (Union Square), and I am very grateful to him for that. This has been my biggest project and I am finishing one section of it to hopefully show it in some galleries’ or Museums.
The day before I had planned to leave New York a client made a 600 dollars deposit and another client booked a photoshoot for 4 days later (meaning, now I really had to go back, because before I really didn’t have anything scheduled in a week period). Alex asked me to stay, but I couldn’t. My responsibilities were bigger than my fall love (it was during fall season). I promised him I would return after I made all my commitments, but the love didn’t last more than 2 days… the day before arriving in Mexico (to work that night), he asked, out of nowhere, to stop talking to him and to never seek him again.
My New York visit was very magical and complex. The feeling I had when I was in the city was like an affirmation. I felt that THAT was the place I had to be, why? I don’t know, I just felt it. And when I was driving back I was feeling like someone or something was pulling my soul back. It was SO strong, and clear, I gave myself 2 weeks to see if this feeling was real or just the attachment of a magical story. After 2 weeks I made the decision, I contacted all my clients to let them know I was closing my business in 2 months. I put my car on sale and I cancelled the contract to buy the house I was living in. I had everything “I wanted”, but I was miserable, I knew I needed to do something and I decided to follow my heart rather than my comfort. It was a very tough decision because I worked SO hard for 10 years to build my business and be successful and have respect and a good position, buy the car of my dreams… I literally cried for a month after I bought my car because I was able to do it. With my own sweat and hard work I bought what I wanted. But like we all now, money can’t make us happy, can’t buy you love or peace. So basically I left everything, I reduced my life to 2 pieces of luggage and moved to New York with no job, having no friends or family living there, nothing. Just me, 2 bags and the trust that my heart was leading me to my happiness and my purpose in life.
Is there mission driving your creative journey?
I always wanted to help people. I actually cut 3 of my fingers helping the gardener to cut the grass when I was 6, and that didn’t stop me to have the desire to help. People come to my life and I have the feeling that somehow I have to help them, how? I don’t know, am I been able to do it? I don’t know. But I always try, and I feel this is one of my missions in life. I know everything I do has this purpose in the background, my art, my books, the film, my life…
Share my knowledge, my doubts, and help the world be a better place is my goal.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.barbarahermor.com
- Other: [email protected]
Image Credits
Bárbara HerMor.