We were lucky to catch up with Barbara Alba-Gonzalez recently and have shared our conversation below.
Barbara, thanks for joining us, excited to have you contributing your stories and insights. Is there a heartwarming story from your career that you look back on?
A client of mine witnessed domestic violence between her father and mother as a child. This experience influenced her relationship with men; viewing them as unsafe and activating her defensive mechanisms. We worked together on releasing the pain from these memories and establishing a relationship with her inner child through guided meditation and body exploration. After some time, she was ready to speak to her father about how she felt as a child growing up in an unstable environment. Having cared for her inner child, she was able to lower her defenses and speak to her father from a place of vulnerability vs anger. Her father met her vulnerability with his own. He reflected on his behaviors, validated her pain and sincerely asked for her forgiveness. They now have a loving relationship. These stories always remind me of why it is that I do what I do. It is a blessing to support others along their healing journey and an honor to witness the beauty that unfolds as a result of their transformation.
Barbara, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?
I got into my industry by actually wanting to receive understanding and healing for myself-I just didn’t know it yet. I had experienced an abusive relationship while studying Special Education during my undergrad years. This relationship took a massive toll on my well-being and on top of that I was addicted to drugs and alcohol. I ended up being asked to leave my program and took a month to “find myself.” During this time I did realize that I enjoyed reading students’ history much more than creating lesson plans. I then decided to re-enroll in school and study Psychology. Once I graduated, I didn’t believe I had the grades to continue on to higher education so I reverted back to what I knew-drugs and alcohol. I attempted to stop using drugs and alcohol multiple times until I had finally hit a breaking point. Overcoming addiction gave me a new perspective and a new found belief in myself. I went back to school and received my masters in Mental Health Counseling. I was on a mission to support others in their healing. A few years into my practice, I changed my career path after I experienced Somatic Therapy and underwent a 2 year Peruvian Q’ero healing training. I found these modalities resonated with who I was becoming more than traditional talk therapy. I now offer both Somatic healing sessions and Q’ero healing sessions from my home in Miami. Clients are able to visit me in person or meet with me online through zoom. Each session is unique and I believe that my own life experiences allow me to relate to a wide range of people who have experienced childhood trauma, drug addiction and sexual abuse. It has been an incredible journey and I am most proud of transforming my pain into purpose.
Other than training/knowledge, what do you think is most helpful for succeeding in your field?
I believe being self aware, humble and vulnerable are helpful qualities for succeeding in this field. Self awareness allows me to not take on my clients’ stories as my own. Their pain is not my pain, I can see the similarities and my words are inspired from these similarities yet I can also appreciate the differences. In this appreciation, I am forever learning from my clients. Humility is incredibly important as I am not the expert of their lives, they are. I am merely a guide, here to support them through their own healing journey. There is nothing for me to take personally as my clients explore the depths of their inner world. Lastly, vulnerability is needed in and out of sessions. A professor once told me that I could only take my client as far as I am willing to go myself. Connecting with my own vulnerability outside of sessions allows me to continue my own healing journey. By continuing my own healing journey, I am able to show up more authentically and more grounded for my clients.
Learning and unlearning are both critical parts of growth – can you share a story of a time when you had to unlearn a lesson?
When I first graduated with my masters, I felt I had do to everything perfectly. I felt I had to know exactly what techniques I was doing in every moment and I judged myself quite harshly after ever session. This stemmed from wanting to do a “good job” and wanting to “help” my clients the way I was “taught.” I soon realized that this caused me anxiety and was actually counter productive. I learned that by having a clear channel and a pure intentioned heart, I was doing more for my client. Also, I am incredibly intuitive. I am able to read the trauma of another very easily and at the beginning I would see exactly where the clients’ negative thought patterns and/or behavior came from, and share it-cringe. While I can still do this, I don’t. It’s not my business and it also disempowers the client. Robbing them of discovering their own unique tapestry, that is their life.
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Image Credits
Sofia Garcia Sanchez- Lens Transcend