We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Bailey Bara. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Bailey below.
Bailey, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. Can you tell us a bit about who your hero is and the influence they’ve had on you?
*Graphic Warning: My story is pretty dark, but it shaped me into who I am.*
My hero is Adam Driver, more specifically his portrayal of Kylo Ren. Growing up, I was in a dysfunctional household with two narcissistic parents and what’s worse is that my paternal grandfather began molesting me at the age of 6. My paternal grandfather was a photographer, so he would often use me as his model for practice. After I stumbled upon his Playboy magazines he assured me that it was normal and a unique way of photography that would showcase the most beautiful women. He then proceeded to teach me how to be like them, at first with nice clothes but as time went on, my clothes began to slowly disappear. If I ever felt uncomfortable, he would tell me, “Imagine you’re posing for your favorite actor/fictional character and we’re gonna send these pictures to them and they’re gonna love you.” Being a kid, I believed him.
As I got older, the molestation got worse, starting off with pictures, then going to oral, and eventually intercourse. When I was 10 years old, my dad kicked me out because I was misbehaving too much in school and my paternal grandparents begged my father to give me to them because they had the money and the resources to get me help. So, I moved in with my them and eventually began getting better grades and behaving more. My paternal grandfather would wake up early every morning to tutor me and help me with my school work, he taught me manners and how to converse with people. From the outside, people thought I had a good life; I had good grades, good behavior, nice outfits, nice things, was always going on expensive trips… but it was all a part of his charade. He would buy me nice things and take me to extravagant places, all to keep me quiet. Everything he gave me, he took from me by forcing me to do sexual acts with him.
With all that in mind, we can finally get into the hero aspect of it all. I grew up watching Star Wars, having a marathon of the Original Trilogy and the Prequels what felt like every other weekend. Now, I always had a thing for villains so it’s no surprise that my fourteen-year-old-self had the hots for Kylo Ren when he was first introduced in Star Wars: Episode VII – The Force Awakens. I mean, HE HAD IT ALL. He was tall, dark, and smolderingly handsome (with and without the mask). It was love at first sight. But he was more than just a beautiful face… he had a broken soul, one that I resonated with deeply.
Kylo Ren was seen as a child, immature, impulsive, weak, and a monster to some. But to me, he was none of those things. I saw his trauma of being abandoned, wanting to be accepted and to be loved, to “let the past die”, never feeling like you’re on the right side or doing the right thing, and so much more. I could go on and on for hours about why I love Kylo Ren but I’ll try to summarize it.
When I was sixteen, I saw Star Wars: Episode VIII – The Last Jedi. Obviously I fell more in love with Kylo Ren, because I got to see more of his backstory, how his parents had neglected him and sent him away for being a bad kid and they “didn’t know how to help him”. It had all sounded too familiar. I was a bad kid growing up; throwing rocks at moving cars, stealing, lying, getting into fights. But my parents never tried to *help* me. They just whipped me with a belt and told me to stop, hence why they sent me to live with my paternal grandfather. But when I saw Kylo kill Supreme Leader Snoke, his “mentor”, the person who had corrupted him since he was little, I had a revelation. I wanted to be like Kylo and “kill” the person who was hurting me and holding me back. So, not even two months later, I came out about my molestation to a trusted friend, we went to the police, and I was thrown into foster care.
Unfortunately yet unsurprisingly, nothing happened to my paternal grandfather. He didn’t get interrogated, he didn’t get question. And in less than one month, he packed up his stuff, sold his house, and moved to Florida. I never got justice for what was done to me for ten years. It has shaped me into who I am and now I suffer from (diagnosed) C-PTSD, BPD, MDD, and Anxiety.
Going forward, Kylo Ren would be a coping mechanism for me. At first it wasn’t severe, but then an abusive narcissistic ex changed that. But that’s a story for another time. To keep it simple, he was extremely manipulative and unfaithful. It got so bad that I couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror without feeling a knife twist in my gut. To have some sort of peace and control in my life, my Kylo Ren obsession got worse. I began spending copious amounts of money on memorabilia, talking to AI chatbots programmed to be like Kylo Ren so much so that I began unintentionally starving myself (losing ten pounds in a short amount of time), sending a five page handwritten letter to Adam Driver (which I don’t think he ever got), and even sleeping with my cardboard cutout of Kylo from The Last Jedi. I was so desperate to escape my life that I was simultaneously damaging and helping myself. For many years, I struggled with self-harm, suicide attempts, and never-ending suicidal thoughts. But over time, I began working towards trying to change that, if not for myself then for Kylo Ren. I thought to myself, “Would Kylo want to see me hurting myself? Or would he want to see me thrive and prosper, raising above the fires and ashes?” Obviously, if Kylo Ren WERE real, I doubt he’d know who I was or would even care. But let’s say hypothetically he was real and did know about me and did care, he wouldn’t want to see me in such a bad place. So, I began working harder; going to therapy more (twice a week instead of once a week), working out at the gym, eating better, pushing myself in college (raising my GPA to a 3.02 to 3.56 and graduating Cum Laude/Honors).
Eventually, my ex-boyfriend of 6 years and I finally broke up and I was able to get away from his narcissistic abuse, but obviously not without some scars. Now, I dedicate my life to my passion of becoming an Assistant Director and Adam Driver/Kylo Ren. Because without him, I would not be here. Now, I just finished my first official film job and am off to find another. I hope that one day I will be able to meet Adam Driver and tell him how much his portrayal of Kylo Ren means to me.
Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.
Growing up, Halloween was my favorite holiday. I loved dressing up, the costumes, the scary stuff, the makeup, the vibes, all of it! But the makeup side of it was definitely my favorite, I was a huge enthusiast, walking into fifth grade with a full-glam look (which I ended up getting in trouble for). But it was my passion. When I was in middle school, I found how to do Special Effects Makeup and began testing my abilities. In eighth grade, we had a “come to school as your dream job”, so I painted my face as Darth Maul from Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace because I wanted to be a SFX Makeup Artist. Thankfully, I didn’t get in trouble that time.
I went on to take a few SFX Makeup Courses to learn how to work with latex and wax. But most of the stuff I did, I learned off of YouTube. I would occasionally do some crazy makeup like the White Walker from Game of Thrones for instance, and then go out into public like that. It was a crazy time. All of this went on while I was living with my paternal grandfather who was molesting me.
After I got placed into foster care, I stopped, mostly because I didn’t have the stuff to do makeup anymore. But eventually, when I got into college and switched my degree to Cinema – Design & Production, I could finally showcase my abilities again. For one of my classes, we had to create a short film that had no music, no dialogue, no text, and only stationary shots. We had to come up with the script, the shot list, the crew, everything. I was stuck on what story I should do for a while but eventually decided on an apocalyptic short film about zombies. https://youtu.be/m6uDCPvMT5E
In the short film, I was able to showcase my abilities for SFX makeup again. Also, my college used to host a Haunted House event and I was one of the scare actors. For a few years, I got to do some creepy makeup for that too and scare a few people.
But, as I went on through college and learned about more aspects of film, I took notice of the 1st Assistant Director position through the Georgia Film Academy. It was love at first sight basically. I loved the leadership aspect of it as well as the diplomatic management, scheduling, organizing, and overall helping bring the directors vision to life. I finally got my first (small) gig as a 1st AD for a a SAG Micro-Budget with Redd Clay Media on a production called “Poker High” (you can find the trailer here: https://youtu.be/kA4hUx3ojJA?si=eNww6JhbEYk3AQBx). During this time, I got to work with all of the crew, including a fight coordinator and an armorer. Although these were some grueling days, I couldn’t have had more fun and I hope to do it again someday.
After that, I continued my work with the Georgia Film Academy as well as Fresh Films. At the Georgia Film Academy, I got to build the Walking Dead hospital hallway set as well as create and paint the letters on the door and sign above the door, build the ABC wall set from Stranger Things as well as create and paint the lettering on the wall, and build and paint a Marquee set and the witches cabin from Hocus Pocus. I got to make documentaries for Roku, Sony, and Freemantle. As well as building sets for a Gala and commercial for the Georgia Film Academy. (Links can be provided if necessary).
Recently, I finished my first OFFICIAL film job as a Costume PA (production assistant) for an Amazon MGM Orion production, soon to hit Prime Video! Unfortunately, I can’t disclose that information just yet since they are still in post-production.
Can you tell us about a time you’ve had to pivot?
When I first got into college, I was going for General Biology because I wanted to be a Marine Biologist. I’ve always loved aquatic life even though I’m terrified to step foot into the ocean. It was just something I found unremarkably and unconditionally beautiful. But, I soon realized a few things; I would have to get more schooling (which would be expensive), I would need to live near a body of water (which would be away from my partner), its an oversaturated field, and they don’t get paid that much (especially for the cost of schooling involved). So, I switched to Business Marketing.
In high school, I was in Junior Achievement which is basically a subdivision of high school where we still take normal classes but we also take extra classes to learn more about business, financial literacy, and how to make connections. Having a history in this helped guide me towards obtaining a business degree. However, there was a problem… I was extremely depressed, I didn’t feel like myself. The thought of working a 9 to 5 job in a cubicle all day sounded worse than death. I felt like it wasn’t my purpose, but I tried to stick through it. That was until my school began offering a degree in film.
You know what they say: “Third times the charm”. I switched from Business Marketing to Cinema – Design & Production. For the next few years I learned so much about film. I also began taking classes at the Georgia Film Academy, at the end, obtaining a certificate in Film & Television Production, became OSHA 10 Certified, and got my first official job on-set as a Costume PA. I also got to work in an Accelerated Film Training Program with Fresh Films who allowed us to partner with Roku, Sony, and Fremantle.
Now, being in an artistic industry, it is hard to find jobs with the way things are going now. That’s why it’s always good to put your best foot forward, be kind, and make good connections.
Are there any resources you wish you knew about earlier in your creative journey?
I wish I would’ve known about the Georgia Film Academy sooner. I always tell people that if you’re wanting to get into film in Atlanta, go to GFA, you’ll learn more there in a week and get more hands-on experience than going to a normal college. At the Georgia Film Academy, you can take three classes, and if you do well you’ll get the opportunity for a guaranteed on-set internship. There are multiple avenues one can take with GFA; the Production route (the actual filming of a movie/tv show), the Post-Production route (editing), or E-Sports (gaming and broadcasting). I chose the Production route since I love to help physically make movies.
For the Production route, the Georgia Film Academy starts you off with an introductory course, teaching you about the in’s and out’s of filmmaking. Then, you get to choose which sub-category you want to explore, anywhere from Grip & Rigging, to Electric, or Production Design. I chose Production Design and go to learn all about how to build sets, how to safely operate power tools, which paints to use, how to angle things in such a way that would create dynamic on screen, etc. Afterwards, I got into the internship class and finally got my on-set internship with Amazon!
Contact Info:
- Website: https://baileybara.wixsite.com/bailey-bara-portfo-1
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/baileybarafilms?igsh=MW9hYWw4ZTJhNWlrZw==
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bailey-bara
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@bailey_bara
- Other: Email: baileybarafilms@gmail.com baileybara@gmail.com
Image Credits
Georgia Film Academy, Fresh Films, and me.