My worst investment was absolutely been scammed.

I started a model November 2018.
I started collab many of photographers , exposing social media more and started getting paid gig some times 2019.

I had offered couple of agencies but never belong to anyone else. I tried research and ask around but I only have poor knowledge. I paid unnecessary background check fee or membership fee for learning lessons.
Since then I stay away agency and work as a freelance model.

But model job is always come with gray area. Some “photographers” are very suspicious. We have to very careful and protect ourselves.

Some of job offers looks legit but many of are scams too.

Beginning of 2020 , I had very painful learning lessons.
This job offer was 2 days photoshoot and used legit company name , address and more details sent me via email.
That person was sent me a check and asked me kept 1/3 and send rest of money to MUA and designers. That was big flag but I didn’t know.

Yes I got a scammed and lost almost of $2000….
Thus incident made me expensive lessons but same time teach me how much dangerous freelance model and how to make sure legitimate officers or not.

I started model after competed bodybuilding show 2018 November. I attended group shoot event that was first time.

Beginning of my journey I shoot with many of photographers, tried expose on social media to have more connections.

Mostly bathing suits, urban fashion shoot I wasn’t comfortable other themes shoot.
As I continue modeling I made small goals each time to achieve and wanted to proud myself.
For example, published magazine, attend fashion shows etc.

I invested myself same as other models does . (clothing, hair/makeup, jewelry, travel expenses, comp card, training, and time yes family time)

Sometimes I have to challenge myself to step out my comfort zone. Boudoir, fine art are one of my challenge.
I didn’t wanted to be a cookie cutter model. I wanted to be a multi genre model. But. As I shoot many of different pictures people are also judged me too.
I saw many of “Friends “ turned out no longer friends. I learned humanities as well.

I still challenging myself to seek my potential, I still learning posing, style coordination, makeup , practice runway walking and etc.

Never satisfied myself, always humble but also take time off sometimes to have family time to have balance of life.

I am originally from Japan and our Asian culture was very narrow body images. When I grow up our culture was “skinny is beautiful “
I was over weights child , having a bully and very low self esteem.

As I grown up and I started bodybuilding journey it was fun but extreme challenge mentally and physically. As I achieved my body goal I bring back to my self confidence and feel good myself a lot.

2020 pandemic happened. My last contest was canceled, my all plan was breaking down. I was in depression also diagnosed bulimia (eating disorder).

I went to treatment first time 3 month , I leaned how to love myself no matter what I look like.

Used to be model = skinny but not anymore!

Every size has a beauty, we have right to be dress nice, sexy and be shine like a diamond !!

My weight is about 30lb different than before but I want to be a transparent. I want to tell you how important self confidence and self love is