Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Arielle Sokoll-Ward. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Arielle, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. Setting up an independent practice is a daunting endeavor. Can you talk to us about what it was like for you – what were some of the main steps, challenges, etc.
I started my private practice in 2020. At the time, I was working at a higher level of care eating disorder facility as their grief specialist. As COVID took over, like many other people in healthcare spaces, I experienced a lot of uncertainty and transition in my day-to-day. I had the goal of eventually starting my own practice, though due to the uncomfortable shifts I was personally and professionally feeling at my job, it sped up my motivation. I first used my network to reach out to different group practices in the Austin area that would be open to a VERY part-time contractor, taking on less than 10 clients. Moonstone Counseling was the practice that I clicked with, mostly because of the two incredible women who run it. It was brand new. Like, I don’t even think they weren’t even taking on clients yet, and I was their first hire! I feel like this gave me a unique opportunity to see some behind-the-scenes details of opening a group practice, which was helpful when opening my private practice.
When I first started, I decided to join a company that credentialed me with different insurance providers and paid me a flat rate for each session I did with a client. This was helpful in the beginning because dealing with insurance is super stressful and messy. It was worth it to me to get paid a lower rate per session, but not have to deal with the insurance part of things at all. It allowed me to focus on the clinical side of my practice and not the billing or admin side as much. Also, because I took insurance, my caseload filled up pretty quickly. For a while, I was still in my full-time position and seeing clients at Moonstone on the side. Eventually, as my caseload grew, it allowed me to quit and start doing a combination of seeing clients through the group practice and my private practice full-time.
For someone who is thinking of starting their therapy practice business, I HIGHLY suggest NOT doing it as your first job, because frankly, you simply are not ready. We work in a field of specialty, so it takes a while to build that into your practice and have the skills to do the work ethically, competently, and confidently. I believe there is a lot of value in working for an agency first. You understand systems at play, work with different types of professionals, and learn clinical skills that can’t be taught unless you are in the trenches. I don’t think I would be the clinician that I am today if I had never had the opportunity to work for the agencies that I did before starting my practice. Being in private practice is such a great accomplishment, however, it leaves you vulnerable in several ways. Having consultation, ethical clinical and business practices, and knowing your own boundaries of your clinical competence is extremely important. Talk to clinicians who have successful practices to get a feel for what it’s like and what it takes to be successful.
Arielle, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?
I’m a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who does psychotherapy first and foremost, but I would say my professional self likes to dabble in a few different areas, such as professional speaking, writing, and consulting. Additionally, I’ve been working on formatting a couple of trainings about grief for professionals in the field and for individuals who aren’t but want to learn more about it and how to support themselves and the people in their lives. I am also super excited to be in the beginning stages of creating a grief-focused card game, which I hope to release next year.
The letters after my name (LCSW-S) represent the professional license I hold, also stating I am a board-approved clinical supervisor for lower licensed clinicians wanting to gain clinical hours toward their clinical licensure. I’m also a Level II Certified Complex Trauma Professional, CCTP-II. I specialize in grief/loss and trauma and I got into doing this work after a significant loss of my own. I was in grad school at the time when my partner, Drew, overdosed on heroin and passed away in 2015. It destroyed me in more ways than I think most people can imagine and still significantly affects me today. I found the most healing through writing, professional speaking, and helping others who have experienced similar deaths in their life, which is how I came to specialize in grief and loss.
In 2019 I did a TEDx Talk in Colorado Springs titled, “Reframing Grief: From Destruction to Resilience”. It was the stage of stages and I feel extremely proud to have been part of it and have the opportunity to share my story. Writing has also continued to be my creative and emotional outlet and on February 8, 2022, I released my first book called, “Adding the E: Perspectives of Grief through Recounts, Letters, and Poetry”. In it, I share my journey through grief, responses from the research I did on the lived experience of grief, and anonymously share client experiences within the therapeutic space. Writing this book, having people know that Drew existed, and being able to honor him every day in the work that I do by making my clients feel safe and empowered is what I feel most proud of. I love my job and honor the courage it takes for my clients to enter a space that often is uncomfortable and confrontational to the parts of them that are misunderstood and scared.
In my practice, I work with adults and do individual therapy. I use an array of therapeutic models such as Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), Motivational Interviewing, and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), to name a few. I also have specialty training in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), Internal Family Systems (IFS), and most recently Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy (KAP). Though I primarily specialize in grief and trauma, I’ve worked extensively with people who have eating disorders, chronic illnesses, or are members of the LGBTQ+ community. I instinctively provide therapy from a relational, self-empowering, and anti-racist perspective and create a safe space for my clients from all walks of life.
What I believe sets me apart from others in the field is the experiences I’ve had personally, my training and specialty, and my professional experience working with many populations, More than that, I’m good at sitting with people in suffering and don’t turn away from it. When on a consultation call with a potential client, I tell them that I’m a “validating challenger”, meaning, I’m a validation queen and I’m going to call you on your shit. I think I make my clients feel seen and encourage them to be curious and not judgmental. I offer a lot of humor, humanness, and unique expertise that I have seen help my clients in impactful ways. If you work with me, you will be challenged, seen, emotionally held, curious, encouraged, uncomfortable, accepted, and resilient. You will laugh and cry and discover new things about yourself and your life and learn tools to deal with the hard shit. And when I mess up (because I will, because I’m human) I will lead you in repair and model how relationships can heal.
We’d love to hear a story of resilience from your journey.
*Trigger Warning: Medical Trauma*
In 2021, I went into the hospital for a routine colonoscopy. I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease when I was seven years old, so having colonoscopies was nothing new to me. When it was over, I was told that the procedure went well and there was nothing significant to report. Over the next 24 hours, I moved from feeling the typical slight discomfort that anyone might experience after a colonoscopy to debilitating pain that had me unable to walk or speak. The same evening, I contacted the GI doctor on call and she told me that I needed to go to the emergency room because my symptoms became so severe. She would let the front desk staff know that I was coming and that I had just received a colonoscopy. After waiting for hours, not getting seen, and watching the ER fill up with people who were not wearing masks or distancing, because I was immunocompromised, I left.
By the next morning, the pain was excruciating and I was taken to a stand-alone emergency room, where they were able to run tests and scans and saw that my colon had been perforated during the colonoscopy. I was then taken to the hospital where a surgery team was standing by to do an emergency exploratory laparotomy. As I was being pumped with Dilaudid, the five doctors standing around me said that my body was now septic and that if I decided against the surgery that would potentially change my life in ways even they were unsure of at the time, I would have 15 minutes to live. When you are told something like that, you sign whatever they tell you to sign.
After having major surgery that also resulted in complications, I had multiple hospital stays under my belt and a significantly long recovery ahead. I lost my ability to sit up or walk on my own and eat regularly, among many other things. I definitely went back to work sooner than I probably should have, but I told myself I had good reason. Because I work in a solo practice, throughout the hospitalizations I continuously emailed my clients from my hospital bed, telling them that I was unable to work but expected to be back at “X” time. The reality was, was that the timeline kept getting pushed farther and farther out and I stopped giving a date for when I would return to seeing clients. It not only felt unfair and unprofessional, like I was stringing them along, but honestly, I became hopeless that I would be able to return to my life as I had left it. It would have been completely appropriate and reasonable for my clients to have jumped ship and either ask for referrals or find another therapist on their own. As their therapist, I’m supposed to be there for them and even though this was out of my control, it felt like I failed them.
But not one person left.
All of my clients stayed with me and patiently waited. In fact, I even gained a couple of clients who happened to reach out at the time and were down to wait for a consultation until I was back. Words can’t describe the immense gratitude that I had then and now for my clients, many of whom I still work with. It’s now two years later and it still makes me tearful thinking about how much that uplifted me and brought me back to life and back to a profession that I love and care so deeply for.
As a therapist, I have a responsibility to pay attention, to see people in ways they may not yet see themselves, and to hold space in a way that is deeply empathetic and authentic. What my clients during that time didn’t know, is that it felt like they saw me in a way I couldn’t yet see myself. And that even though the kind and thoughtful words about my recovery that my clients shared in response to my cancellation emails were greatly appreciated, it was remembering the strength and grit that I witnessed from them in sessions filled with pain and grief. That was the foundation of my resilience.
So, if any of my clients that I was working with during that time are reading this now… Thank you. You helped me remember who the hell I am. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Other than training/knowledge, what do you think is most helpful for succeeding in your field?
Knowing how to network and being open to meeting people who do different work than you is hugely important. Approaching the individuals you meet in your field or adjacent fields as a potential networking connection can help lead to either a client referral or advancing your career. The therapy and/or social work field, in Austin especially, is smaller than you might think. And people talk! Both clients and professionals- positively and negatively.
Confidence is also a must! I think it’s unrealistic to say that you need to be confident all the time because no one is, but not being afraid to get curious about any imposture syndrome that comes up. To be confident in this field and with your clients, you have to first admit that there are people who know more than you and will always know more than you. Which is a good thing! Find those people and learn from them. Don’t be afraid to look dumb or ask questions. It’s part of our ethics as social workers to continue learning and becoming more competent. Being patient and taking the time to do what you need to do and learning what you need to learn to become COMPETENTLY confident and not just confident. There’s a difference. You know it and your clients know it.
Know who your ideal client is and who your audience is. This is specifically important when you are in private practice and can kind of choose your clients. You cannot and will not be everyone’s cup of tea. I know I’m not. And it took a while for me to be okay with that and not feel hurt by it. I often think of the saying, “Stop trying to be liked by everybody. You don’t even like everybody.”
Even if you aren’t in private practice, knowing what populations and settings call to you and which ones don’t can really help your job satisfaction. This usually takes a little trial and error.
And lastly… get out of your own way.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.ariellesw.com/
- Instagram: @adding_the_e
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/arielle-sokoll-ward-lcsw-s-966aa854/
- Other: Book: Adding the E https://www.amazon.com/Adding-Perspectives-Through-Recounts-Letters/dp/1737846977 TEDx Talk: Reframing Grief: From Destruction to Resilience https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KfxCcMUWTp4
Image Credits
Headshot: Nediva Sokoll-Ward TEDx Photos: Steve Moraco