We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful April Smith. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with April below.

Alright, April thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. We’d love to hear about the things you feel your parents did right and how those things have impacted your career and life.

My parents separated when I was 15. I was grateful because they constantly fought and there was always tension in the house. What they did do right was teach me how to read people and how to emotionally regulate on my own. I spent a lot of time learning to read my parents so that I could figure out how to navigate the home environment. This skill is still very helpful to me as a psychotherapist. My father was emotionally volatile and my mother would go inward and shut down in times of conflict. Neither of which are good coping skills. I learned how to do something in the middle. I would express myself to both of them yet I was very controlled and regulated because I didn’t want to “trigger” either one of them. Another important skill to have as a therapist. I’m sure you can imagine all of the heart wrenching things I hear and witness during a session. I sometimes cry because I empathize with the client, but I also am able to stay regulated when I learn things that can ignite lots of emotions. I am grateful for these two skills even though they developed from a place of conflict and turmoil.

April, love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?

Counseling is my second career. I was an acupuncturist for over 20 years. I specialized in Women’s Health with a focus on fertility issues. As an acupuncturist I did some “counseling” as any health care provider does “counseling” to a certain degree. I noticed a pattern starting to emerge during a typical acupuncture session about six years ago. I spent the first 10-15 minutes of a one hour session talking with the client getting information about their current physical state; 10 minutes to insert needles, 20-30 minutes of needle retention time ( I would leave the room and let the client rest with the needles in) and then 10-15 or so minutes of needle removal and wrap up. Well, I noticed that clients were “talking” a lot more and we would talk longer than the allotted time and I would be rushed to get needles in and let them rest. I would say to an acupuncture client, “I really need to start needling or you won’t have any relaxation time”. Clients began telling me, “that’s okay, let’s just continue talking”. I was like a deer in headlights. I was surprised that they wanted to keep talking and skip the acupuncture part. I would think to myself, “isn’t acupuncture why you are here?”. I did some self reflection and realized that I liked the “talking” part of the session and would get caught up in the conversation and forget my time management routine. Perhaps there was something subconscious going on that I was attracting this people and allowing the “talking time” to run over. After 20 years of doing acupuncture I had the time management routine down to a science. Apparently something was going on with me. Hence I decided to look into graduate schools and I decided to get my Masters in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. I am a relationship counselor. I support all stages of a romantic relationship. I offer premarital counseling, relationship counseling, and I help couples transition out of relationships. I work with all types of couples, regardless of gender identity and/or sexual orientation. I work with people of all faiths and spiritual practices. I offer in person and telehealth sessions. I have a niche for helping couples heal from infidelities.
The biggest thing I think that sets me apart from others is that I do not judge the client. I’m here to help the client, I don’t have the time or the desire to judge you. My job is to provide a safe space where you can share your thoughts and feelings. I don’t heal you, you heal you. I am more of a facilitator. I come up with ideas and you decide to run with those ideas. You do all the work. I’m just a well qualified personal cheerleader.

If you could go back, would you choose the same profession, specialty, etc.?

If I had a time machine and could go back in time I would have done things differently. It took me decades to grieve this reality. I would say I got over this in the past year. When I say, “get over this” I mean I finally made peace with the fact that I’m not a medical surgeon. Since I was a child I wanted to be a “brain surgeon”. If you ask any one of my elementary school friends what I was going to be when I grow up they all would have answered, ” a brain surgeon”. I talked about it all the time. My academic focus since I can remember was to go to medical school and then do a residency in neurosurgery. That was my path until I got to undergraduate school at UC Davis. First year biology majors take all the hard classes such as: anatomy, physiology, biology, chemistry all with labs. In addition you take calculus (I’m not very good at math). That program weeded me out. The classes were insanely hard and very time consuming and I simply was not in the right space to work that hard at 18. I switched majors to psychology. I couldn’t handle the pressure nor the workload. Had I known back then what I know now, I would have powered through the curriculum with my C in calculus and my other pathetic grades in the other science classes. I would taken my average GPA and gone to medical school in another country. I would then have come back to the US and taken the state boards to get my medical license and tried to find a residency program anywhere that would have taken me. As I tell my daughter who is in high school now, it’s not where you start, it’s where you finish.
I took the easy way out which is not typical of me. I’m embarrassed as I type this to admit that. It still makes me sad. However, I have come to accept that I may not be doing actual surgery on a a person’s brain but metaphorically speaking I am still a brain surgeon because I am a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist and we work to change one’s maladaptive cognitions. In a more abstract way, I am still working on people’s brains.

Have you ever had to pivot?

After graduating from undergraduate school with a BA in psychology I took some time off and got a job working with a chiropractor in the San Francisco area. I worked there for about two years. The chiropractor would refer patients out to alternative therapies like massage and acupuncture. That was my first exposure to acupuncture and I found it fascinating. I ended up going to graduate school to get my Masters in Traditional Chinese Medicine. I practiced acupuncture for over 20 years. About six years ago I decided to go back to graduate school and I got my Masters in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. I was in my late forties when I went back for my second masters. I thought I would be the oldest person in the program. I was not. My cohort consisted of amazing people and I am happy that we were able to stay in contact and they are my friends and my professional peers. I have been working as a therapist for three years now and I am glad I made the switch. I feel like I have lots of tools in my healer repertoire. Sometimes people ask me if I would ever incorporate acupuncture into my psychotherapy practice. My current answer is “no”. Psychotherapy is much harder than practicing acupuncture. My job can be emotionally draining and I hear all the awful things people do to one another on a daily basis. My job is very hard. I also realize that it’s an honor and privilege to work with people. They are trusting me to provide a safe space without judgement. I take that responsibility very seriously. I pride myself in being 100% present for my clients. I am not thinking about what I want for lunch or if I remembered to respond to that important email. My clients have 100% of my attention regardless of what I have going on personally. I think being an acupuncturist for so long helped me with separating my personal life from my professional life. When you are in session with me you get all my attention, skills, and time. Always.

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