We were lucky to catch up with Andi Pelfrey recently and have shared our conversation below.

Andi, appreciate you joining us today. Are you happy as a creative professional? Do you sometimes wonder what it would be like to work for someone else?

I think the societal expectations today for many people is to work in an office until you retire. I did that for many many years. I’ve worked in hotels for over 10 years previous to that. While it was a consistent, expected paycheck, it was never fulfilling. I liked having the monotony everyday of entering numbers into a computer over and over again, but interpersonal relationships in a tinderbox got very old very quickly. Being an artist, especially selling at festivals and shows, isn’t guaranteed. Just recently, I attended a show we do every year and make a huge profit from and it was a complete bust. There was little traffic and no one showed up. That’s the name of the game, though. The uncertainty is my most hated aspect of being an artist.

I am happy doing what I do. I get to meet tons of people who have similar situations in regards to losing a child and have never had the voice or the chance to talk about their kid. It is a bond that parents tragically share, but I never forget them. I have had the honor of working with remains from people’s loved ones and making absolutely beautiful sentimental pieces that bring them joy in sadness. I am incredibly hard on myself, though. Sometimes that puts me in a funk where I think that I am not good enough to continue or people really don’t like what I do, they just are being nice. I was diagnosed with OCD in 2019 and part of my disorder manifests as intrusive thoughts. Therapy and knowing you aren’t your thoughts helps a lot. Especially when I start to attack myself. I feel like I am honoring my daughter in the best way I know how.

Andi, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?

My company started out of utter tragedy. In 2017, we found out we were pregnant with our first daughter, Scarlett. It was fast and we were thrilled, as you can imagine. I was high risk and had to do a lot of testing and we found out at 26 weeks she had a terminal brain disorder called Semi-Lobar Holoprosencephaly. Essentially, her brain didn’t develop properly. It didn’t separate into two hemispheres and it had little to no definition. Devastated doesn’t even compare to the feelings I had knowing she was going to die and possibly inside of me. It was true anguish. Thankfully, she was born alive and we had 4 1/2 amazing months with her. We were in and out of hospitals but we had her. I will never look at that time as anything other than miraculous. She was our little angel. Towards the end, we knew it was coming. She passed in October of 2017 in our arms.

We are fortunate to have Nationwide Children’s Hospital in our backyard and they have a great program for parents with children on palliative or hospice care. They follow you two years after your child’s death to make sure that you are “okay” and are getting any help that you need. Our social worker (Heather, I will never forget you!) introduced me to my particular painting style called acrylic pouring. Because I have OCD, structure is very important in my daily life. This type of painting is purely abstract and I can’t control anything aside from the ingredients in my formulas. I have to accept beauty in complete chaos. It has helped me grow as a person and I thank her every day for it.

When you have a massive amount on grief, you accrue a massive amount of paintings. My husband suggested trying to sell some at an art show and it was a success. It’s been 6 years and we continue to trek out in the hot summer days selling little pieces of me in her honor. Some days are really hard for me because my art comes from such a deep place of pain. Other days I beam with pride. It is continuously learning to accept the worst thing that has ever happened to me, and to flourish and still grow with it inside. Knots in a tree aren’t ugly, they add character and beauty.

I would like my potential clients to know that I work very hard to make art as customizable to you as possible. I don’t charge outrageous fees for my artwork. I could if I wanted to, but art should be accessible to anyone. If I can make a piece of artwork that you smile at everyday, then my cup is filled. Life can be so dark and empty sometimes. Sharing or creating a tiny bit of light for someone who truly needs it is the most fulfilling thing for me. It isn’t about profits. Don’t get me wrong, I gotta feed my kids and pay my bills, but it is the experience of seeing someone’s eyes light up over something I poured myself into.

I am most proud of my cremation art. I am so thankful that people trust me with the remains of their loved one. I treat them with the utmost respect and my goal is to bring comfort. People and pets are important. Death is hard and awful. But a part of them can still live with you. You can touch their ashes or talk to them. My point of view is of someone who is still very much grieving the losses in her life. I will take care of them, as they were my own.

Is there something you think non-creatives will struggle to understand about your journey as a creative?

I think not putting everyone into the same box that you are in, helps greatly. I HAVE a real job. I work 15 or more hours a day to run this business. If you could quit your job and do something you wanted to, wouldn’t you? I did, and that shouldn’t be an attack on my character. Artist work really hard. Sometimes down to the bones with sore, aching hands, sore backs, constant fears of disappointment. Just because you see a piece of art that you don’t understand, it doesn’t mean that someone hasn’t put their entire soul into it.

Are there any resources you wish you knew about earlier in your creative journey?

I grew up in the 80s and 90s when social media wasn’t even a thought. I have found that the hardest thing for me is keeping up with social media trends and apps. I wish I would have put together a social media game plan and learned more about what the kids are doing these days. One post on TikTok can either make or break a company, and that is uncomfortable.

Contact Info:

• Website: www.thegildedrosestudio.com
• Instagram: www.instagram.com/thegildedrosestudio
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/thegildedrosestudio
• Other: tiktok @TGRStudio

Image Credits
Andrea Pelfrey