Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Anastasia Zadeik. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.

Anastasia, thanks for joining us, excited to have you contributing your stories and insights. Can you talk to us about a project that’s meant a lot to you?

My latest project, The Other Side of Nothing, a novel Kirkus has called “a stunning story of mental illness and its challenges,” comes from the heart for several personal and societal reasons.

Though I didn’t understand it until I was older, I’ve suffered from depression, anxiety, and insomnia most of my life. I remember not being able to sleep as young as six or seven and, in middle school, having to take a low-dose tranquilizer before eating to prevent nervous colitis. In college, I suffered an insomnia-induced psychotic break, at which point I started seeing a psychologist, but only episodically. When asked how I was, I wanted to believe my answer, “I’m okay.” From 19 to 58, I primarily turned to exercise, journaling, and yoga to tamp down my mental health struggles, techniques that sometimes worked and sometimes didn’t. Most people never knew I loathed myself or spent the wee hours panicking about something I’d done wrong; I was an excellent masker.

So I shouldn’t have been surprised when, in 2010, my then nineteen-year-old daughter told me she’d been struggling with depression since she was sixteen. And yet, I was. I heard myself saying, “But you always seem so happy. Everything is going so well in your life.” I should have known what she was going to say before she opened her mouth—that what you see on the outside is often not what’s going on inside. We talked about her feelings and how she used exercise and journaling to tamp down her struggles in much the same way I’d done (and perhaps unwittingly modeled for her), but the conversation was awkward and unfulfilling. I wanted to take her struggles away, but I couldn’t.

And then, in 2012, my nephew tried to end his life. I was out of the country at the time, and my sister didn’t want to “ruin my trip,” so she didn’t tell me until I returned home. I was devastated when I learned she’d been alone while dealing with situations that had taken her breath away—agreeing to put her son into a medically-induced coma, sitting by his bedside wondering if he would be okay, having to leave the room when they brought him out of the coma in case she was the reason for the attempt. Adding to her pain, many of her friends had avoided her because they didn’t know what to say. No one brought food or sent cards, the way they would have if her son had cancer or an accident. “Suicide is not a casserole kind of thing,” she said.

All of this whirled around in my mind, the impact of mental illness not only on the person struggling but also on the people who love those engaged in the struggle. I thought about how hard it was to talk about it when I was in the throes of depression or an anxiety attack, but also how much I longed for my daughter to talk to me when she was in the same situation. I thought about my sister and my nephew and all of the families impacted by mental illness. I thought about how, when someone famous dies by suicide, magazines put their faces on the cover, accompanied by a short article of tributes and the inevitable expressions of shock—”I never knew.” I thought about how quickly those covers revert to happier content, and the vows to talk openly about difficult topics fade.

I wanted to write something with more staying power than a magazine article. So, I wrote The Other Side of Nothing to address some of those difficult things we don’t like to talk about—grief, mental illness, loss, self-harming, and suicide—without sensationalizing them or glossing them over. I set out to show, not tell, what depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder look like and how they are experienced. Their impact on families and relationships. The philosophical conundrums faced when self-determination butts up against a loved one’s best intentions. The bad. The difficult. But also the good and the extraordinary. Passion and dedication. Friendship and finding your way. The power of hope and art and love and small moments of joy.

How the other side of nothing can be nothing—or it can be everything.

While writing The Other Side of Nothing, I fell into a profound suicidal depression myself until, one day, my own behavior forced me to admit I was not “okay.” As life influences fiction, so, too, fiction influences life. Knowledge I gained in the writing of this book has helped me turn “struggling” with my mental health into “managing” my mental health. It has also helped me talk more openly with others, my family, friends, and community, to start broader conversations, break stigmas, and spread the word about resources available to individuals, families, and communities. I hope the book will encourage readers to speak up and, as the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention says, “talk away the dark.”

Thank you for sharing that with us. Before we get into the rest of our questions, could you please take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers?

Hello, everyone! My name is Anastasia Zadeik-Hipkins, but I write under my maiden name, Anastasia Zadeik (which, I know, is a doozy of a name). I like to say that I am in “my third chapter of life” and my third career. My first career after college was in neuropsychological research in memory. My second was as a professional volunteer for organizations focused on education, healthcare, and community outreach. And my third is writing.

The truth is, however, that I have always been a writer. I write to process life; I started with a little pink diary (with one of those tiny, ineffective locks and tiny key), moved on to fabric-covered journals in high school and college, and then to black moleskins, yellow pads, and spiral notebooks as an adult. I have dozens of these—some on my office bookcase, others tucked away—and I often pull content from them when writing. As one of my writing idols, Judy Reeves would say, “Nothing is wasted.”

During the time I began writing to share with others, I started getting involved in the San Diego writing community—first through the literary nonprofit So Say We All (“SSWA,” whose tagline “helping people tell their stories and tell them better” perfectly explains their goals), and then through the San Diego Writers Festival (“SDWF,” whose tagline, “before we tell our stories, we are separate; after, we are family,” is also accurate!) and the International Memoir Writers Association (“IMWA”). I’ve performed over a dozen stories for SSWA’s VAMP showcase, served on the board, and continue volunteering as a mentor for other writers. I serve on the board of the IMWA and as Director of Communications for the SDWF. Our fifth annual festival was held at the beginning of April 2024, featuring 90 speakers and 40 events—all in one day and all free. All three of these organizations epitomize what I love about San Diego’s literary nonprofits: those involved are welcoming, inclusive, and determined to build a supportive, enriching community.

In addition to making me a better writer, SSWA, the SDWF, and the IMWA have given me the opportunity to help others become better writers and get their work out into the world, to expand offerings for local writers to learn and grow, and to celebrate the creative talent here in San Diego. While I will always love writing itself, I am most proud of the work I do to support and lift up other writers.

What do you find most rewarding about being a creative?

As the saying goes, I grew up with a book in my hands. Books enabled me to live in a little house in big woods, solve mysteries and murders, survive alone on a mountainside, switch bodies with my mom one Freaky Friday, fall in love with a prince (and multiple misunderstood rakes), and have a room of my own.

Publishing a book changed my perspective in ways I never could have imagined. Now, every time I walk into a bookstore or library, I am struck by the time, passion, and dedication it took to put the books on those shelves. I remember the day my debut novel was released, I saw a blue and white Amazon truck on the road and thought, “oh my god, my book is out on Amazon trucks today.” Thinking of my book sitting on a library shelf or someone’s bedside table remains thrilling. Hearing from someone that they couldn’t put one of my books down reminds me of all the nights I scrunched under a blanket with a flashlight, willing my eyes to stay open just a bit longer—and the idea that words I wrote might evoke emotions and experiences for others is beyond rewarding.

Any insights you can share with us about how you built up your social media presence?

I am still building my social media audience! When my first book appeared on Amazon for pre-order, months before its publication date, I received a call from a friend who had somehow found it. I was unaware it would be online so quickly and had absolutely nothing in the way of a social media platform—no website, no Instagram, no TikTok. My only presence online was a username on Twitter (with three posts) and on Facebook, where I mostly just watched what other people were posting. My publicist introduced me to a social media consultant, who advised me to start with one platform and go from there. Since I like photography, she suggested I begin with Instagram. She told me to think about building a platform as building relationships. “Treat a post like a conversation you might have with a friend over coffee.” The most important thing, she said, is “be yourself.”

My daughter advised me to create a public Instagram account, and a linked Facebook author account, using the name under which I publish because public accounts allow you to boost and advertise. I learned about hashtags and how some of them allow you to post without having to create a lot of text (i.e., #throwbackthursday, #wednesdaywisdom, and #mondaymotivation). I found out there are websites that provide the best days and times to post based on activity and engagement. I learned that you can easily cross-post between Instagram and Facebook. I also learned (too late) that having a set order of posts will create a pattern on your Instagram grid, which many people find aesthetically pleasing. After a number of fellow authors’ accounts were hacked, I decided it was worth the money to have a Meta-verified account.

My advice would be to do as my consultant advised and start with the social media platform or platforms that make the most sense for your interests and communication style. Instagram is great for photos. Facebook has a slightly older audience. X is the post-Elon Musk name for Twitter, which may appeal to those wishing to write shorter posts. Threads is Meta’s version of X. TikTok content is video-based, and the audience tends to be younger. Each social platform has its own algorithms for sharing posts, some of which can be difficult to understand and keep abreast of—just because you posted something doesn’t mean your audience will see it, which can be discouraging. Interestingly enough, my consultant’s advice to “be yourself” has proven to be true – when I try to be clever or follow trends or other people’s style, the posts tend to get less engagement than when I am myself—awkward, old-fashioned, and prone to using words like Moreover or Nonetheless in messages. Moreover, the posts when I am myself are far easier to create!

Contact Info:

• Website: www.anastasiazadeik.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/anastasiazadeik/
• Facebook: @anastasiazadeik
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/anastasia-zadeik-hipkins-5a825966/
• Twitter: @anastasiazadeik
• Youtube: several performances on So Say We All under Anastasia Zadeik (and Anastasia Hipkins)

Image Credits
Michelle Goane (headshot only)