We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Amie Barsky a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Alright, Amie thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. It’s always helpful to hear about times when someone’s had to take a risk – how did they think through the decision, why did they take the risk, and what ended up happening. We’d love to hear about a risk you’ve taken.
Truthfully, I’ve been a risk taker my entire life. Moving out at 18, choosing a dance career at 19. Starting college at 21 when everyone else my age was graduating. Moving across the country (South Jersey to Southern California.) Working in the entertainment industry, traveling the world, building schools in 3rd world countries, starting a nonprofit, and shifting careers countless times. Perhaps I’m a humming bird at heart.
Here’s a story about a “small risk” with a HUGE reward.
In 2013, a year and change after my divorce, a friend of mine kept saying, “go to this weekend workshop, maybe it’s time to get out there again.” I asked her what it was about? She responded something about “attracting your soul mate.” Back then I was good at putting a “I’m fine” smile on my face to hide the shame I was feeling as I struggled with anxiety, loneliness and depression. Little did she know and had zero desire to “attract my soul mate.”
I used every excuse in the book, “I don’t have time”, I can’t afford it” (which was partially true as I was barely making ends meet at the time). But there was another part of me whispering internally, “go.”
I had never attended a workshop like this before, so I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I was still fairly new to self development as I started practicing Kundalini yoga not long before. What I did know was underneath my “I’m fine” smile, I was desperate to get out of the vicious cycle of anxiety, low self worth & self beat up. To be honest, I walked in with skepticism, sat in my seat along with about 100 other women and said to myself, “attract my soulmate? this is a crock of crap- this better be worth my $250 bucks.”
Little did I know this workshop had NOTHING to do with “attracting your soulmate” and EVERYTHING to do with learning to love yourself. (Which I didn’t even know was a thing that could be taught) Throughout the weekend we were guided through a variety of mental and emotional exercises – I sobbed like a baby, I had incredible realizations, insights and breakthroughs and by the end I was completely curious as to what else was possible.
On the final day there was an opportunity to sign up to work with this coach one on one. I thought to myself, I took a “small risk” and look what happened. I want to keep going, otherwise I will always wonder “what if.” The cost of this coach, in my opinion at the time, was extremely expensive. My credit cards were maxed out but I knew I had to take the risk, to figure out a way to invest in myself. So I committed to save up, and soon enough, I signed up. I was proud to hire my first life coach.
Needless to say that was my first personal development workshop, and I got way more than my money’s worth. After working with that coach the flood gates opened. I was hooked on healing. I read books, listened to podcasts, attended seminars and more workshops. I became a yoga teacher. Over the years I worked with some of the best trauma & nervous system coaches out there. Each time peeling back layers of past childhood wounds, pain and trauma. (In case you’re wondering, healing is not linear and definitely not a “one stop shop”)
There came a point where I felt called teach others what I spent years learning and embodying. I took more risks, investing in many trainings and certifications over the years. I have studied the intricacies of how the mind, breath, body and nervous system are connected. I love all the science that have proven how our bodies are like a living library of our entire lives, storing every experience including suppressed emotions, along with unresolved pain and trauma.
I still continue to take risks of all sizes, both personally and professionally. I’ve learned that it’s not only a part of being an entrepreneur and it’s also part of who I am- even when it’s not easy. I’m a firm believer that with risks comes rewards.
Over the years of saying “yes” to my inner “yes” has paid off- my coaching business continues to grow and feel extremely honored to work with clients around the globe.
As a Trauma Master Coach and Breathwork facilitator my intention is to keep guiding people towards healing. Guide them to get to know their mind and body and fuel them with self empowerment, so they can move through life’s challenges with as much ease and grace as possible.
As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?
Hi, I’m Amie Barsky is a high energy, firecracker devoted to guiding women who have successful careers, but are operating from the “gotta hustle, people please and push through it” mentality. Driving them into overwhelm, anxiety and burnout, left feeling disconnected from themselves, their relationships and their careers.
My own journey to healing past emotional & physical abuse in childhood, being bullied, sexual assaults, death and divorce has led me to coaching women all over the world. Unconsciously I was living from this place of “survival mode” most of my life. What my body and brain were doing internally to “just get by” left me feeling anxious and overwhelmed with spouts of depression and burnout.
The sudden death of my brother, followed by the loss of a friend to suicide, I started asking questions… what is the purpose of life? Who am I? Why I am here?
At that time my career path was chaotic,(I was pursuing acting), my marriage was very rocky and my emotional state was under distress. Through these questions I got clear what I valued in life and what my top priorities were. Turns out it wasn’t what I was taught growing up. It wasn’t money, it wasn’t a huge career, nor was it a big house, fancy cars and expensive clothes.
It was inner peace and love. It was feeling comfortable in my own skin. I wanted to stop the chaos in my mind, stop feeling like I had to hide behind a masks or pretend to be someone I wasn’t, in order to fit in or feel good enough.
One of my favorite quotes is: Elevation requires Separation. And that’s what was needed at that point in my life. If I was going to walk down this path of “finding myself” (FYI- we are never actually lost) then I new that some of the people in my life would either accept my choice and climb the mountain with me or fall to the wayside. My husband, at that time, was not aligned with me and so he was one, of many, who fell to the wayside.
My identity of “who I thought I was” was completely shattered. Fear of judgment from others while simultaneously starting over was incredibly scary and painful.
There came a time when I realized that all the things I was seeking externally: love, appreciation, attention, approval, respect, validation, could not happen until I learned how to give it to myself.
I dove into self development since then and hasn’t stopped. If you want to hear about my hilarious experience of my first personal development workshop please check out the question about taking risks.
As a Trauma informed coach and Breathwork facilitator, I am an exceptional leader in my field, not only because of my extensive knowledge and skillset, also because I’m pretty down to earth, raw and relatable. My life experiences have led me to swim in and move through deep, dark waters of discomfort and I now, yes, I am lead a fulfilling life- and I am still human. My compassion, deep listening and vulnerability are my super powers.
What sets me apart from other coaches is that I work with both the mind AND body which creates long term results. You walk away with tools, techniques and process you can use to self- regulate for the rest of your life. I offer monthly online and in person workshops, as well as one : one coaching programs completely tailored to your needs.
Life is not going to stop “LIFING” – it will always have its up and downs. When you heal your past, learn your patterns and rewire your system you can feel stable, energized, confident and a sense of inner peace no matter what life throws at you.
Any stories or insights that might help us understand how you’ve built such a strong reputation?
Beyond my skills, knowledge and overcoming my own life’s challenges and traumas, I have built a solid reputation when it comes to curating a very safe place for my clients. This safe space creates a level of deep trust where my clients feel comfortable to share their deepest fears, insecurities and challenges in life.
I am also known for my compassion, my sense of humor, keeping it real and raw, as well as when to be a loving interruption and call them on their BS. I hold them at their highest potential and keeps them accountable to their vision.
Have you ever had to pivot?
A personal pivot in my life. It was a Tuesday in June, 2012, I’ll never forget. I was standing in my living room of my beautiful home in Marina Del Rey, California. I was looking out over the water at the Malibu mountains off in the distance.
Outside, a picture perfect, sunny and 70 day. Inside my life was falling apart as I broke down and cried. And not just your regular “let some tears out” sniffle a bit cry. I am talking the “ugly cry.” The guttural kind where the pit of your stomach is so heavy it weighs you down to the floor. I curled into a ball and sobbed.
My mind was scattered with racing thoughts, my breath shallow, my body shaking. Anxiety attacks were not new to me, but this one was next level. 12 years previous to this moment I had unconsciously gotten myself into an unhealthy, emotionally toxic relationship. I then married this person, with the hopes that things would “get better.”
After 5 years of marriage, numerous attempts of “trying harder” and therapy, this was the day I knew without a doubt that if I wanted to be the person I knew I was capable of becoming (emotionally & mentally healthy and happy) and create the life I desired, then this new life would cost me my current one.
I made one of the hardest decisions of my life and walked away from everything I knew to be a “stable” and “normal” life and this was the start of breaking free of the “people pleaser” and “good girl” that had been running most of my life. This was the start of reclaiming my voice and restoring my self worth.
This put my on a path to deep healing of childhood wounds and past trauma. A path of unraveling the limiting beliefs, patterns and habits that were holding me back in all of my relationships. My relationship with my parents, romantic partners, friends, with money, with my body and MOST IMPORTANTLY my nervous system and with MYSELF.
I could see clearly why I made the choices I made in my past and the more I understood my nervous system responses the easier it was to feel love and compassion for myself.
Contact Info:
- Website: amiebarsky.com
- Instagram: @amiebarskycoaching
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100094299917738
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/amie-barsky
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzYTPe6euGZHmxOCSfDIuOw