We recently connected with Allyson Roberts and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Allyson, thanks for joining us today. We’d love to hear about a time you helped a customer really get an amazing result through their work with you.

My client – I’ll call her “Janet” found me online after her husband’s death. He committed suicide in their living room while she was on a girl’s weekend. When she came home, she walked into the aftermath. He left no note. She was beyond stunned as he’d never once talked about feeling depressed or needing help. While he did have a very stressful career as a trial lawyer, he won a lot of cases and was well respected in their community. He left behind Janet, three teenagers, and many siblings and friends.

When Janet and I started our journey of her emotional healing, she’d already been in therapy for two years and I suggested that she continue with mental health support as I’m not a therapist. My role was to support her in rebuilding her day-to-day life with focusing on her goals and ambitions.

It was a rough beginning because she was having a very difficult time putting her desires into action. This happens a lot when we have severe trauma. Our “emergency mind” focuses on everything that hasn’t worked and believes that nothing will work.

She lived in another state, and I made the decision to fly to her home and spend four days with her. During this time, and after many long hours of white board diagrams and tears, she made the inspired decision to sell everything and move. In her state, she would have to disclose that her husband died in the home and how, which proved to be somewhat of a challenge, but with myself, her therapist and an understanding real estate agent, she succeeded in placing her house on the market. Her children were relieved. Everyone had trauma inside the house.

Janet’s house sold quickly with multiple offers because rates were low. She never imagined that her house would sell in three days, and that she would have enough equity to, not only purchase a new home, but also start her own business. I was able to help her through her personal transition and plan out her business step-by-step.

Each step of her success brought up another layer of fear. That’s what our brain does. Just when we are about to embark on something great, our brain steps in and tries to stop us because anything new doesn’t feel comfortable or safe. That, along with the guilt she had of being able to accomplish her dream only because her husband died, weighed on her.

Her assignment with me was to meditate twice daily and report back her thoughts and feelings. At first, her reports were filled with sadness, desperation and anxiety. But, the more she meditated, the more in control of her life she felt and this opened doors internally for her to be able to see that she didn’t kill her husband. She wasn’t responsible for his death. Her anger toward him for abandoning her softened to compassion and forgiveness.

When Janet reached this milestone, only then were we able to start the journey of her building the wedding planning business she’d dreamed of since before her children were born. She visualized exactly how she would operate, her ideal client, how she wanted to feel running her company each day, the income she desired and every other detail that pertained to her new company.

Through inspired action, and my twenty years of business experience, we developed a step-by-step plan and through Janet’s determination, she followed it completely. Within six months she reached six-figures and today she not only has a wedding planning business, but she purchased an Airbnb on a resort for honeymooners. She has plans to add to her wedding planning legacy. The most important part of it all is that Janet found herself again and is expressing her personality through a business that brings her pure joy.

As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?

My life started in pretty rough circumstances. There was a lot of violence and abuse in my childhood home. At the age of nineteen I found myself homeless, pregnant and nearly freezing to death in my car. Through synchronicity I was handed “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill and everything in my life started to turn around. I began to understand that they only thing that was going to change in my life was my mindset if I wanted anything else to change. So, I began visualizing and experiencing emotionally the life I wanted before it ever happened. It didn’t take long for things to begin unfolding and that convinced me to keep going. The child I was carrying was placed for adoption as I wasn’t ready to be a parent but I always held close to my heart that I would see him again even though it was a closed adoption. Twenty four years passed, but one day through another string of synchronicities, my son and I faxed our adoption paperwork in several minutes apart as we were each looking for the other. A few days later we were standing embracing and a few weeks later I would attend his wedding. This was all because I visualized seeing him again almost daily for twenty four years. I believed it would happen and gave thanks for the reunion each and every time I thought about him.

This is ultimately what opened the door for me to begin working with clients on their mindset and belief systems. I’d seen so many movies and books where people say to think positively but that only scratches the surface. We have to be willing to face our demons first, forgive and love, before we can begin building a new life that is filled with daily miracles. I’m often asked why this is – why we can’t just think new thoughts and have amazing things happen. The answer is that most of us don’t believe we deserve it, therefore, we can’t receive it. What sets me apart is that I know you’re worthy of having anything you want, and that you’re capable of it, and I help you know it, too. I do this by teaching you how the brain works in a very elementary way so that you can easily understand. Once you understand it, you can start becoming the boss of your brain ™ and that changes life quickly and drastically.

The thing I’m most proud of is developing a system – PVP – Problem Vs Promise – that allows clients to see what their brain is doing at any given moment on any given day. Once the client sees their automatic brain and how it reacts to almost everything we do, then they can grasp the enormity of their thoughts and how those thoughts are literally sabotaging their lives. Once they step into Promise, everything changes! It’s exciting and fun to work the process and see the transformation unfold before their eyes. This process reveals the innate power that lies within each and every one of us and the innate love, if I’m honest. A love that is drowning in fear. Once we tame that fear by understanding its purpose and how it weaves in and out of everything we do, only then can we become the boss of it.

This is why I created Unapologetic Power. It’s a 12-month membership that allows clients to come into a community of people who care. We support our clients with live interaction, classes, retreats, workshops, coaching, meditations, and more. We are there…not automated on a screen…but, rather, live and in action helping our clients see their individual challenges and helping them to the other side. Unapologetic Power utilizes cognitive neuroscience along with spirituality to help individuals understand that the more they become themselves, the more of themselves they want to experience. It removes the masks and shields that keep us codependent and hyper-independent and offers a chance to truly know our genuine self underneath the life experiences that hurt and, perhaps even, tortured us. Unapologetic Power has been featured on NBC, ABC, FOX, CEO World Magazine and dozens of podcasts and other media.

We often hear about learning lessons – but just as important is unlearning lessons. Have you ever had to unlearn a lesson?

Owning a business is not for the faint of heart. There were many sleepless nights in the beginning as I was trying to build my business with revenue that covered my daughter’s college expenses, my rent, car, insurance, utilities, groceries and business expenses. Because of this, I considered anyone who could pay a good client and anyone who could refer business a good collaborator. There were no enrollment interviews, questions, or forms. I took anyone on who wanted to hire me. Why? Because I needed the business to pay my bills.

This is not a good idea under any circumstances.

What started to happen is that clients felt they had autonomy over my time and my iPhone. I received texts at all hours of the day and night with an expectation that I would answer them all immediately. As my client roster increased, this model quickly collapsed. Not only could I not keep up with the many text messages throughout the day, I was growing more resentful and bitter by the minute.

It was during a vacation to Disney with my then teenage daughter when she grabbed my phone out of my hands and started to cry, “Mom, please be here with me!” It was just the slap in my face that I needed to see the reality of my dire situation. The rest of the day I answered no one. The thing is, all of my clients knew I was on vacation. The majority of them who felt they owned me continued to text me anyway.

Once we arrived back at the hotel, I opened my phone to many angry messages from clients asking why I hadn’t responded. I sent this message to each of them, “I’m on vacation. You will receive a response once I’m back in my office. If you have an emergency, please reach out to your therapist or physician. Thank you for understanding.”

No one fired me and no one reached out again.

It was then that I understood the only person at fault in that situation was me for not using my voice and setting boundaries. Once I set them, and meant it, my business functioned smoother and I actually grew into a better coach for each of them because we were operating from mutual respect.

We’d love to hear a story of resilience from your journey.

Sometimes when we step away from people, if they don’t agree with the relationship ending, they will spread lies quickly. This was the case when I decided that a business collaboration wasn’t working for me. The person referring clients would call me wanting me to share confidential information and they felt entitled simply because they’d referred them. Each time I refused, they grew angrier and their demands larger. One day I had enough and decided the relationship was over. I had no idea that it would result in horrific retaliation against me.

The next thing I knew, she and some of her cohorts, contacted every single client of mine – even those she hadn’t referred, and told horrible lies about me. Most of the clients hung up and refused to believe anything they said while others who knew both of us were shocked and confused. The next thing I knew, clients were trying to get out of contracts and posting things on social media that were total lies. At first, I was completely devastated and frozen.

One morning I woke to the nastiest email anyone has ever sent and it was then that I decided to forward it to my attorney. As soon as he received it, he called and we decided together to file cease and desist letters, release clients from their obligations, and refund money to “take the higher road.” Meanwhile, I hired a publicist to clean up the mess on social media, blocked people, and kept my side of the street clean. It wasn’t easy.

Today, I can honestly say that I’m very thankful it all happened. I learned so many lessons in that process with the main one being that I do careful homework before hiring team or collaborating with anyone, no matter how well known they are or by the size of their coaching programs. My business has tripled since this all happened because I didn’t allow one thing to break me, rather, I learned from it and moved on.

Contact Info:

• Website: my linktree is below
• Other: linktr.ee/AllysonRoberts