We were lucky to catch up with Alexi Kyle recently and have shared our conversation below.

Alright, Alexi thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. Was there a moment in your career that meaningfully altered your trajectory? If so, we’d love to hear the backstory.

This moment. This chapter marks the defining moment in my practice. While I don’t have the “results” necessarily to prove how defining this moment is, follow along my journey, and you will see the metamorphosis happen in real time. What greater gift than to witness life in transition and transformation? Have you ever seen a caterpillar go into its cocoon and emerge as a butterfly? Or seen a rose grow from a bud to a full bloom? Most of us don’t get to witness this miracle of life, but we know it has happened when we see that butterfly and rose in their peak beauty. This is the moment I am opening to: an awakening to the limitless love and beauty within. It is something I have been working to cultivate with clients, while being human and moving through my own struggles with limiting beliefs of unworthiness within.

For as long as I can remember, I had a gift of empathy and a desire to make others feel good inside. I didn’t know, however, that this was something I could do for a living. I spent the first 10 years of my adult life working in corporate sales jobs. I changed industries many times, always searching for the one that was going to satisfy my soul. I couldn’t keep a job longer than two years because the initial allure of learning something new would wear off, the mundane and detached pattern would expose itself, and I would lose all drive.

Being immersed in the healing and wellness world always sparked a light inside. I grew up with an extremely health-conscious mom who instilled good health practices in me and my sister from an early age. It has always been a big part of my life. I grew up playing many sports, and ultimately played Division I soccer at college. I found yoga in my late teens, after my dad passed away in a tragic accident and I was moving across the country for college. That is what I mark as the start of my healing journey.

Living in Boulder, Colorado, provided many opportunities to deepen my connection with nature and explore further into the wellness space. This led me to begin teaching yoga.

I grew up in a real estate family; my mom, dad, and grandfather were all in the business. My grandfather came up from very little, did well for himself in the space, and paved the way. Because of this, mathematics was revered in my family. There was this idea that had been instilled in me from a young age that, as females, we are at a disadvantage in this world, and in order to be successful, we had to put ourselves at the table with men. My mom was determined to make my sister and I strong, fearless, powerful women who could hold their own. She wanted us to know there was nowhere we couldn’t be or do because of our gender. In a lifelong effort to win her love and make her proud, I became a version of that which I thought would be most accepted, needing external validation from my family to show up in the world. Because of this, my career path took me to many crossroads, and at each point I faced an internal battle: do I follow what is interesting to me (what makes my heart sing) or do I follow what will make me financially secure and socially accepted? At each point, I would want to move into the healing world—acupuncture, nutrition, yoga, psychology—and each time I would convince myself that I wouldn’t be taken seriously in life or that I would be broke if I did that. And it left me with only one logical option: take another job in corporate sales and leave your “interests” to be just that—interests and nothing more.

This carried on for almost a decade. And while I was miserable, I was also proving myself to be a valuable producer in the corporate world, climbing my way up the ladder and collecting nice commission checks. I was beginning to feel my self-worth wrapped up in the identity I had created as a corporate professional. When I began my career, however, I would cry myself awake and asleep during lunch because I was so miserable and felt like my life ended once I entered the workforce. I was using my innate abilities of empathy and desire to help people to make my corporate life more bearable. But at a certain point, selling them an insurance policy, an office lease, or a tech product left me lifeless inside. During this time, I came in and out of phases with my own healing journey, abandoning it many times along the way, falling out of alignment with my truth.

Raised in a family entrenched in the business world, I had accepted this norm despite an underlying dissatisfaction, unaware that an alternative path, the path of my heart, was really possible—and not only possible, but my destiny.

With this hazy awareness, I reignited my healing journey and began to slowly shift this peripheral exploration to become the core of my practice. Collaborating with many healers and mentors, clarity emerged, affirming my belief that I belonged in this transformative space.

I received a call to reconnect with nature. So in 2019, I left NYC for Los Angeles, where I began engaging with the greatest teacher of all—mother earth—along with many other mentors, healers, energy workers, yoga teachers, somatic practitioners, creative expression through multidisciplinary arts, and delved deeper into my spiritual expedition.

In strengthening my intuition, I unearthed an enduring connection that had always been present. Peeling away layers of suppressed emotions became a focal point, ultimately guiding her to David Elliott. I was compelled to undergo breathwork and healer training under his guidance. After completing David Elliott’s training in August 2023, I knew I was ready to hold this sacred healing space for others . Everything crystallized around breathwork, and it became the foundation for my offerings. It was through breathwork that my intuition grew in ways I didn’t know was possible, and self-love emerged in a way I had never known. I began to believe in my ability to guide others on their transformative path of healing and self-realization.

I took the long-anticipated leap of faith and put myself out there to be received by others as a guide on their journey. For the first seven months, I have been fighting so much internal resistance and fear. While I knew I was in the right place and there was no going back, I still experienced many moments of weakness and negativity, mostly during times when I would have a light client week, be tight financially, or go days without actively working to grow my practice.

The moments of weakness were overwhelming and all-consuming. I would perpetuate my own suffering and make it worse because I would let this voice within me convince me that I would fail and that I would never make enough money to make a living for myself. I would wallow in self-pity and do nothing to take action against it; I would choose my own fate because that way, at least, I would be in control of my own failure.

But then it became clear that what was on the other side of all this suffering, was deliverance. I have battled with this internal confusion: who am I? It wasn’t clear to me who I was because I spent so much of my life trying to be someone I was not, so much so that I had forgotten who I really was. I stepped into this space because of my desire to help others. I didn’t realize that, in doing so, one of the big rewards would also be that I was healing myself as well. I have been in deep study and practice with spirituality, self-realization, and self-love. I had gained many tools and practices that helped me and countless others who walked the path before me and beside me. I wanted to share these teachings with others. I wanted to be an active participant in the healing of mother earth and her beloved inhabitants. I would face these moments where I would be holding space for others to connect with their own self-love during times when I couldn’t even connect with it in myself. I felt in those moments that I couldnt even be worthy of holding the space because I wasn’t there myself. Nevertheless, I persisted. And through the witnessing of another, I also felt a little bit better inside.

I needed time this winter and in the transition to spring, to nourish myself, replenish my energy, and care for myself. I had to put my own needs before those of others if I wanted to be of service to others. This time, it felt like everything was caving in on me. And then, in the final moments of it, when I felt I couldn’t even connect with the burning “yes” inside, I couldn’t connect with my dreams, when I questioned, if my dream are the reason for living but I can’t connect with my own, what’s the point of all this? At that moment, on the eve of the spring equinox, the transformation was at it’s apex. It took me taking myself down into the lowest of lows, in order to break through the chrysallis and emerge with wings.

This whole time, I was going through motions of learning and applying little by little how to treat myself kinder, how to appreciate who I am, how to listen to my own inner knowing. All the while, not totally getting it, knowing that something, some big piece was still missing within me. And then, I became aware of my own suffering, of how I was making it worse. I saw a vision of my life in the future, of everything so perfectly aligned and full of abundance. And it made all those fear-based illusions I had been running on a feedback loop. It showed me the absurdity in what I was doing. How much time and energy I had wasted being unkind to myself.

I started to relate it to how if I was a child, would anyone ever treat me that way? No way! A kid in the sandbox gets their toy taken. Does the parent say, well kid, you are a push over, you are weak, you might as well give up on life now, nothing is ever going to go your way! Of course not! A parent is going to tell their child not to worry, everything will be ok.

So why do we abuse our inner child in such a way? Why do we let our adult self be treated like this?

It is only now, through this unbecoming, through this “molting,” that I have begun to feel worthy of my own self-love.
I was reminded of who I am. A question I have long meditated on.

Nature reminded me of who I am. The universal energy running through me reminded me.

I share this poem I wrote to bring forward the awakening and the transformation I have undergone:

i know who i am

she flows like the sweet waters of the earth,
washing honey upon the banks,
bringing the sustenance of sweetness to the lips of those that sip from her overflow

she pays no mind to the stones she overturns,
trusting even the most jagged of them are meant to be made smooth in her presence

she shapes her body in harmony with the contours of land,
she listens to the whispers of the trees along her shore,
and she knows when to break a branch that impedes upon her path,
surrendering all of herself to the matters of the heart

flowing sound in her tenacious current of humility and grace,
she does not fear the landslide,
for she knows she is not what muddies the water, but that she is the water itself

upon her head, her crown shines bright
and reflects to you the crown upon yours; the crown of creation

i am in love with who i am

I have had the gates open. I am knowing my self. I know myself like I know the river water, and the fresh water of rain that falls from the sky and brings life to the earth. My nature is a generous nature. My nature understands, takes care of, and listens to others. I have an empathetic nature. I remember this is my true nature. I do not feel guilt or fear for being this way. It is who I am. Just like the river is water that receives us, hugs us, and does not have fear.

I am not afraid of who I am, and I don’t have doubts on my choices or my path. I don’t question my worth, or my gifts. I choose to receive myself as the highest good of who I am. I trust the process and understand my nature is to flow. I see now how in not receiving myself, as this was giving my own power away. I release these limiting beliefs, false truths, and dogmas. Only I can define myself and define my way and my path. I hold myself in an embrace, free from judgement of being anything but that which is the essence of oneness. I am a reflection of self-love, self-confidence, and self-esteem for others.

This is my defining moment. The moment I chose to fully love and accept myself in my highest light, highest vibration. The greatest gift my teachers ever gave me was the reflection of what was possible within myself. This is the gift I give to myself and those who walk this path beside me.

Alexi, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?

I shared a lot about how I got here on the first question. To summarize, I had hit something of a rock bottom within myself after holding onto decades of unresolved trauma and limiting beliefs. I have fallen so far off course with my purpose, and with knowing who I was that I was starting to question the meaning of my life. It felt dull, surface level, empty, when it seemingly looked like it had grown into something beautiful and prosperous. Inside, I still suffered greatly. I was lost. I didn’t have a choice. I was forced on this path. My inner guidance had given me no other choice. And to make sure the universe had my full attention and committment, the fibers of my surface-level seemingly prosperous life started to unravel. Among other matters, my marriage was on the brink of disaster. The fabric I had woven myself into was breaking, and the identity I had secured myself in with dissolving. I dove head first into the pool to save myself. I worked with mentor, Diane Hudock-Pleeter, on self-alchemy and yoga studies. I worked with Sherri Brown on somatic therapy. I enrolled in a 4-year somatic practitioner program, Core Energetics. I took spiritual psychology courses at University of Santa Monica. I worked with yogic astrologist, Michael Nourse. I worked with mediums, energy workers, shamans, plant medicine churches, indigenous elders gatherings, kirtan circles, nude gatherings, pottery class, harp and harmonium class, and so much more. I realized I was on the path to becoming a bitter woman if I didn’t start living the life I was starving for inside.

All of this brought me to curate my offerings I now have:
– In person and virtual 1:1 breathwork, yoga and somatic movement
– in person and virtual group breathwork, yoga, somatic movement and creative expression
– Psychosomatic bioenergetics 1:1 sessions: 1:1 in her 3- or 6-month packages, meeting weekly or biweekly depending on needs and availability. Dissolve your defenses, release stuck and sabotaging energy and behavioral patterns that deplete your life force and hinder productivity, well-being, and overall quality of life. Working with getting to the root of patterns of negative emotions and cycles, unhealthy habits, or unproductive thought patterns. We do this by getting out of the mind and into the body, growing an awareness of what our senses are telling us – we learn to befriend our emotions and listen to our physical pains and symptoms so we know how to purify and cleanse and transmute what is constricting our image of ourselves. We are sovereign sentient beings. We are not meant to live within the limits our 3-year old self set up for us. We are here to hold the hand of our younger self and cultivate a deeper love, intimacy, connection and knowing of self, others, and our home (earth).
– Self-love immersion 12-week 1:1 program (self-knowing, introspection, meditation, strengthening connection with inner guidance, higher self, awakening to own empowerment)
– Creative & self-expression activation 6-week group offering (includes somatic movement and voice activation as part of mentorships and group offerings) launching July 2024
– yoga/breath/nature: Rooted Radiance Retreat to cultivate self-love, self-confidence, self-knowing fall/winter 2024;
– membership to community for deeper connection and sharing with others on their journey to coming home to their spirit, their inner healer, and inner artist fall/winter 2024

what sets me apart? My corporate experience and the getting to where I am through my own journey of missteps, wrong turns, backwards leaps that were all exactly what got me to knowing myself, loving myself, and being myself – a healer, an artist, a guide. I relate to those lost on their journey, trying to find their way, doubting themselves, ignoring their dreams, living by default. That “This is it?” sensation…feeling deeply trapped and miserable, lost, not knowing another way. Can hold space for individuals in this space, for individuals that don’t know how to access it or where to begin, or if something is even missing in their lives. Individuals that are numbing themselves, and reminding individuals that the creative, healing, force is possible and is their birthright. The reason she is doing this work, is because she is realizing that we are all healers and artists, two elements that society programs us not to be, and that we lose touch with. Witnessing that her inner fire was low, and that she needed to change something quickly, even if on the surface she was successful, happily married, when on the inside she was dying. The power of what is possible when one person decides to step away from the system, heal themselves, love themselves, and the ripple effect is bigger than can be imagined. Never in her wildest dreams could she imagine moving back to Florida, but listening to this inner calling, that the land and people and her family need it.

what I am most proud of and excited about my work is how I am learning everyday how to channel my own healing and journey of cultivating deeper self love and courage and confidence in myself through the space I hold for others, the mirror I hold for others to find in themselves and also through my own creative expression – the arts. as I am channeling my self love and highest vibration through creative writing, poetry, music and devotional songs, and watercolors, dance and more modalities. i am experimenting to build the wisdom and creative connection within myself so that i can help others do the same on their journey.

Training and knowledge matter of course, but beyond that what do you think matters most in terms of succeeding in your field?

Your belief in yourself and faith in something greater than yourself. Knowing that you are doing what you do for something beyond yourself. It is vital, in this healing world, to remember that you are not healing others. You heal yourself, and that is all you are responsible for in this lifetime. We only guide others on their path of their own self healing. Releasing the doubts and limiting beliefs and fears that you are perpetuating within and allowing to hold you from standing in your highest vibration. Let go of the fixed expectation we have around how things should be. Surrender to the path and trust the path you are on will take you to where you are meant to go. We learn from the path, from being in service to others, where we are meant to be ourselves. It unfolds before us, reveals itself to us.

We often hear about learning lessons – but just as important is unlearning lessons. Have you ever had to unlearn a lesson?

Why do we create more suffering for ourselves?

We suffer. Sure.

But then we perpetuate that suffering by wallowing in it. Ruminating on it. Creating stories to exacerbate and amplify our current experience of suffering. We make it worse for ourselves instead of better. Why is that?

What is that sh*t about?

Who else is done with that old programming?

Why are we obsessed with our suffering story?

Why aren’t we obsessed with loving ourselves and living our best life?

When the suffering comes up, can we write a new story? One that is rooted in infinite love and grace for ourselves?

Can we care for ourself like we would a child? Let them know everything is going to be ok, soothing them when they are out of balance – the kid on the playground takes their toy in the sandbox. In that moment, they feel their world is ending. Do we pile it on when they are feeling that way? That kid must know you are weak and a pushover. Get used to it kid! You will always be treated this way! It’s never going to get any better!

No! Of course not! We tell them everything is going to be ok, because it is. And then what happens? Before you know it, they’ve stopped crying. They’ve forgotten all about it. And they are carrying on as if it never happened.

How can we nourish and soothe that inner child when the suffering arises. Even if we don’t totally believe everything is going to be ok. What’s the harm in doing our best to believe it will all be ok in the end?

I was thinking about how I have been wallowing in my own self pity for the last few days, and doing nothing about it but perpetuating more and more suffering through more inaction — the one thing that is completely in my control to change, and the main root of my suffering. I mean, I’ve been REALLY going through it. I felt like my whole world was caving in on me. I was in the doom and gloom zone. I couldn’t see the light and the end of the tunnel, I refused to even open my eyes to give myself a chance to even see light. I was WALLOWING IN IT. Something about it felt comfortable. Like I knew if I stayed there I could control the outcome. If I sabotaged myself, I would be responsible for my own suffering and therefore would not feel disappointed if my fate was out of my hands.

But I fast forwarded in my mind to the future and saw: business was thriving, and I had overcame current obstacles. And I shook my head in disbelief at how absurd and dramatic I had been about my current state. ITS NOT SO BAD. Rarely it is. And even then, we still survive. The universe only gives us what we can handle. So why do we choose to make it worse instead of better? Give the power back to our Creator, step aside and let your path unfold for you. The lesson I had to learn was releasing the false sense of control we think we have over our lives. Trust. Deep trust in the universe is the teaching.

Contact Info:

• Website: alexikyle.com
• Instagram: @alexikyle_

Image Credits
Lawrence Martinez