We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Alexandria Butler a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Alright, Alexandria thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. Parents can play a significant role in affecting how our lives and careers turn out – and so we think it’s important to look back and have conversations about what our parents did that affected us positive (or negatively) so that we can learn from the billions of experiences in each generation. What’s something you feel your parents did right that impacted you positively.
I am very blessed to have the most supportive parents. My mom and dad have been behind me, rooting for me since the beginning, and they are not afraid to show their support publicly. While there are so many lessons that I continue to learn from them, the most prominent one is this: do not let others tell you what you can and cannot do.
Throughout my life, many people – mostly adults- told me that my dreams were too big or unattainable to achieve.
I vividly remember adult individuals would try to discourage me, but my parents were always there, pushing me forward, even when I was too scared.
A great example is my journey as a background singer and dancer for the St. Louis Muny Opera. The Muny is America’s largest outdoor theatre and has an incredible musical theatre show lineup every summer. Every year, my mom and I would grab tickets to enjoy a selection of the most awarded Broadway shows—right in my backyard. It was incredibly inspiring, so much so that my parents encouraged me to audition as a background dancer and singer during my younger years. I distinctly remember other parents telling my mom I would not make the cut at the audition.
But for three summers straight, I sang and danced on that stage—in the face of many naysayers telling me I was not good enough. Meanwhile, I was being selected for solos and featurettes to showcase my talent.
Yet, it was still difficult. It was difficult being one of the very few Black performers. It was difficult hearing the backstage comments from other performers, directors, and even Muny executives were many times very negative and unforgiving.
Although I had a few allies in the Muny community who always supported my growth and my performance, it really was my mom who was at every rehearsal, every performance and encouraged me during those tough moments. She was also the parent that would push back on the people who told me I could not achieve.
Without my parents, I would not be where I am today. They are still reminding me of the brilliance I can bring to the world if I apply myself and do not listen to the haters.
Alexandria, love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?
I am a tech industry leader and celebrated workplace Freedom Fighter. As a sought-after speaker and workplace culture commentator, I frequently shares insights with organizations like Diginomica, Pearson, and CBS. My expertise in navigating the professional landscape makes her an invaluable resource for corporations aiming to enhance the employee experience and foster inclusivity.
My goal is to Lexi empowers audiences to unlock their potential and my most recent avenue is my LinkedIn Audio show, Live Coffee Chats with Lexi B. This show fuels a passion for continuous learning, equipping individuals with the tools to thrive in today’s competitive business world. Lexi B revolutionizes corporate approaches to growth and development, leaving an indelible mark on audiences and guiding them toward unparalleled success.
Learning and unlearning are both critical parts of growth – can you share a story of a time when you had to unlearn a lesson?
I am always unlearning and relearning lessons. One of the most impactful lessons that I have had to unlearn is the power of silence. Growing up, I tended to tell people what I would do instead of just doing it. I am naturally very defensive about dreams with people who think I cannot accomplish them. When I was actively trying to leave my first job out of college to pursue something more challenging with a higher salary, I called my dad in tears. I relayed to him the backlash I received from everyone—that they didn’t think I could successfully transition into this higher level. I let him in on the pressure I felt to defend my career choices verbally. He listened and said, “Why don’t you just stop talking about it and just do it? What would happen if you just did it? You don’t owe anyone an explanation about anything.”
Even as a child, I have had this tendency to want to prove myself to people through words, and the best lesson I learned in my 20s was that it simply takes too much energy to make people believe in me. When the truth is, I could turn my focus inward, work on myself, conquer my dreams, and the proof will be there for all to see. Sometimes we spend so much time trying to convince people that have no influence on our next steps and honestly don’t even care about our next steps. Allow your actions to be the driver. Just do it, literally.
Any stories or insights that might help us understand how you’ve built such a strong reputation?
Your reputation is the most powerful tool you can leverage in your career growth. I had a mentor in the early stages of my career tell me, “You must be good at what you say you do. Do the work to become really good at your job and be able to do it in half the time than others.” I followed her advice, and I worked really hard to not only understand my job but practice it. I come from a theater background, and in theater we have a rule that says, “You practice constantly so it looks so easy on stage.” I consistently use this ideology in everything I do in my career. I am always practicing, freshening up skills, and networking with other people who have skills that I want to strengthen.
The second component of your reputation is how you treat people. Do people enjoy working with you? Do they feel safe with you to tell you the truth? I am a natural introvert and do not naturally seek out social gatherings. But at work, I am very big on building 1:1 relationships with my colleagues. I want to learn about who they are and why they are doing this job.
While these two attributes have helped build my reputation at work, I am very clear on the most crucial element of reputation: the fact that I can always back it up with intentional action and results. I am very proud and grateful for this.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.lexib.com
- Instagram: @lexibspeaks
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lexib/
- Twitter: @lexibspeaks
Image Credits
Eyeconik Photography