We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Adelaide Graye. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Adelaide below.

Adelaide, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. We’d love to hear the backstory behind a risk you’ve taken – whether big or small, walk us through what it was like and how it ultimately turned out.

One of the biggest risks I’ve ever taken was trusting a complete stranger during one of the darkest times in my life. I was battling severe depression, compounded by long COVID symptoms and the physical and emotional turmoil of a challenging menopause. I felt like I was dying—or perhaps more accurately, I wanted to die. My depression was deemed “untreatable,” and no one seemed to have answers for my long COVID symptoms.
A client referred me to a psychedelic therapist, and while her services were beyond my financial reach, I opened up about my interest in ayahuasca—a medicine I had heard whispers about and never deeply explored. She was aware of it and promised to keep an ear to the ground for me.
Months later, my suffering persisted. I had undergone a failed D&C without anesthesia, leaving me with uterine scars, trauma, and relentless physical pain. Even after a successful surgery and physical therapy, my body and spirit felt trapped. And then, the call came.
The therapist reached out to tell me about a ceremony happening three hours away—in two days. There was no time for the typical preparation or cleansing, and I didn’t know how I would make the drive. Car rides longer than 30 minutes left me nauseated since entering menopause, and this was five hours with traffic. And Spirit was clear: I had to go.
I was terrified. I didn’t know who I would meet or what to expect. I envisioned being in one of those movies where the girl gets abducted and shoved into a basement for years on end. Clearly, I have an active imagination. The therapist mentioned that there would be someone at the ceremony who I was destined to meet, someone with whom I would share medicine. She sent me a photo of them, which gave me a spark of motivation to push through. They needed me.
The drive was grueling. I had to stop several times to get sick, and my body protested every mile. The Curandero hosting the ceremony checked in on me throughout the journey, his voice carrying a resonance that seemed to pull me toward my destiny. I kept going because I believed—deep down—that I had nothing to lose and everything to gain.
When I arrived, I could hardly believe I had made it. The therapist had paid for me to attend every night of the ceremony, asking only that I say yes to whatever was offered. I was embarrassed that I could not afford to pay my way, and I almost backed out, out of pride. Her response was that it was her job because there are people on the earth who are meant to be in service to The High Priestess’ that had come back during this time. She thanked me for answering the call. I cried. That first night was a painful experience of surrender, and as the ceremonies unfolded, I began to feel the layers of pain and trauma unravel. It was the most excruciating experience I could never have imagined. I confronted my fears and shadows, opening myself to healing and a new way of being.
By the end of the ceremonies, my symptoms had dissipated, and what I gained was so much more than physical healing. I had stepped into a life unknown, a life I didn’t even realize was waiting for me. I met the loves of my life—my Creator, my spirit team, my twin flame, and my truest self.
This experience taught me the transformative power of trust, faith, and surrender. It showed me that stepping into the unknown is often the only way to truly heal and grow. It wasn’t just a risk—it was a leap of faith into my destiny.
Today, I carry the lessons of that journey with me as I guide others through their own transformations, especially those navigating the challenges of midlife and menopause. I know firsthand how terrifying it can be to take the first step, and I also know how profoundly life can transform when we do.

As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?

What I Offer
At the heart of my work is a commitment to guiding midlife individuals to reclaim their power, wisdom, and purpose. My offerings are diverse yet unified in their mission to foster transformation and self-discovery:

Digital Courses & Coaching
Style as Medicine: A Spiritual Journey Through Menopause & Midlife
This signature course invites participants to embark on a transformative journey where personal style becomes a powerful tool for self-discovery and healing. Using my “O.U.I.” Method (Outside, Unity, Inner-essence), we answer the call midlife presents—to uncover and reclaim our essence (the true self)
Blending sacred entheogens, shamanic practices, traditional curanderismo tools, and modern modalities, this program helps release old habits, retrieve lost parts of the soul, and cultivate alignment with the authentic self.
This beautifully intense process combines the convenience of digital tools with time-honored traditions, guiding participants through menopause and midlife with wisdom, tough love, and sacredness. Offered as a group or one-on-one experience.

Guided Menopause: A Spiritual Journey
This group coaching program blends shamanic practices, habit formation, lifestyle medicine, and non-entheogenic plant medicine guidance to help participants navigate menopause with spiritual depth and practical support.

Content on Social Media
On my social channels, I share insights into spiritual healing, medicinal and psychedelic mushrooms, menopause, and midlife transitions. These platforms are safe spaces for my community to learn, engage, and feel seen.

Community Engagement
Through my Spice Mélange community, (Facebook) I create a space for deeper connection. It’s where I share my learnings, guide individuals in exploring the healing potential of style and spirituality, and facilitate growth through collective wisdom.

Through Style Milk Atelier on Patreon is a transformative membership where sustainable fashion meets spiritual self-expression. I offer 2 tiers for members where they are encouraged to define their style archetype and receive a curated style box featuring one-of-a-kind vintage or second-hand pieces, personalized styling sessions to refine their wardrobe, and access to exclusive content designed to inspire creativity and connection. It’s more than just fashion—it’s a sacred journey of rediscovering their essence through style.

Ceremonial Guidance
I provide education, preparation, facilitation, and integration support for those exploring sacred plant medicine paths. When ceremonies extend beyond my scope, I connect individuals with trusted practitioners.

Upcoming Offerings
Online 12-Week Microdosing Group Coaching Program: A guided program focusing on microdosing sacred plant medicines to support healing and self-discovery.
In-Person Menopause Style Retreats: Immersive retreats blending personal style transformation with deep spiritual work.
Monthly Newsletter: A recap of lessons, insights, and highlights from my social channels.
Botanica: An online hub offering plant medicines, resources on medicinal mushrooms, cutting-edge apps, and opportunities for growth.
There’s more and well, you’ll just have to wait and see.

Let’s talk about resilience next – do you have a story you can share with us?

Resilience, for me, is not a single event. It is an ongoing process, one that was amplified during the challenges of COVID and continues through my journey in midlife and menopause. COVID forced me to confront not only the virus but also its residual effects, all while navigating the profound changes menopause brought to my body and spirit. My first plant medicine ceremonies were transformative and provided immediate relief, yet the work didn’t stop there. Resilience became my guide.

On top of that, I’ve lived with brain damage from my years as a competitive skater, enduring countless concussions that left me with the neurological challenges of a boxer. During COVID, I lost loved ones without the chance to grieve in person, including my grandmother and two best friends. The combination of these losses, physical pain, and the emotional toll of midlife left me in a state of disconnect. I felt untethered, unsure of who I was or how I fit into the world.

After those initial ceremonies, I was faced with a question that would change everything: What now? Healing from physical symptoms is one thing, and rediscovering purpose is another entirely. My life at the time, running a pet concierge business, no longer fulfilled me. Though I loved the work, it didn’t honor the creative and spiritual parts of me that longed to be seen. The city felt loud and overwhelming, and I knew I couldn’t return to the “old” versions of myself. It was clear I needed to step into the unknown.

I felt a pull to return home to Arizona—a move that was as raw and challenging as it was necessary. Within months, I gifted away nearly everything I owned, packed up, and drove across the country. The desert and mountains called me back, as a home and as a sacred place for awakening. What I found wasn’t just a return to my roots it was a reckoning with who I was becoming.

This journey has been anything but romantic. The process of becoming the person I was meant to be has been gritty, beautiful, and deeply sacred. My family and community weren’t quite ready for this new version of me, and honestly, neither was I. And I realized that everything I had experienced—every loss, every ceremony, every challenge—was pushing me toward a greater purpose.

My business, Maison de Graye, is the culmination of this evolution. It allows me to combine all of my experiences, talents, and quirks into something meaningful and transformative. I get to be the stylist, the shaman, the curandera, and the businesswoman my ancestors always envisioned. Resilience has been my greatest teacher, and gratitude is my constant companion.

If you could go back in time, do you think you would have chosen a different profession or specialty?

I really refrain from looking backward, and no—I wouldn’t choose anything different. The experiences I’ve had—traveling and living all over the world, studying art, religions, and cultures while navigating creative fields and medical professions—were life teaching me exactly what I needed to know.

I’ve developed a deep appreciation for the tastes and flavors of the world, its people, and my connection to nature runs so deep it often moves me to tears. I was everything I wanted to be as a little girl, and now I’m everything I dreamed of when I dig into that little girl’s heart.

I am kind and tender, strong and direct, and finally, madly in love with myself. I’m excited to see where Creator takes me next, and even more excited to help others find their medicine to do the same.

No little girl of my generation grows up saying, “I want to be a shamanic stylist.” Certainly, no little girl of many colors. Shamanism is a way of life. Curanderismo is in my DNA—a way of living—and when I think on it, so is being a style guide. I had to be a business owner because working for someone else is difficult—I don’t play nice like that. I have to be in charge. I’ve come to realize that ultimately, Creator is the boss and Spirit is the navigator that guides me. I’m simply the vehicle to live and create within those values. I was chosen for this path. It’s woven into who I am, and my role was simply to step aside and get out of my own way. I am beyond grateful.

Contact Info:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theupstairsshaman
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/essenceofmelange/
• Other: https://www.patreon.com/thespicemelange

  https://thespicemelange-newsletter-c90cac.beehiiv.com/

Image Credits

Michelle Stafford
Eddie Harris