We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Adde Russell a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Adde, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. Learning the craft is often a unique journey from every creative – we’d love to hear about your journey and if knowing what you know now, you would have done anything differently to speed up the learning process.
Like most creative people I’ve met, I was a curious child and had an interest in knowing how to make things. I can remember repeatedly looking through my parents encyclopedias. I obsessed over two volumes: A for the book labeled “Art” and D for “Dress”. I knew I wanted to do whatever I was seeing in those pictures and illustrations. It wasn’t until attending art school that I learned how to apply my curiosity and began to believe that I may be able to “do” art for a living.
I don’t believe one needs to attend art school or have any official training to make a living as an “artist”. While I learned a great deal about the use of materials and the mechanics of creating, earning a BFA mainly just gave me a temporary identity that I think I desperately needed at the time. I went to school for painting, therefore I believed I was a painter. This concept of myself helped me for a little while, but it didn’t stop me from getting in my way. The feedback loop in art school can mess you up and make you unsure of what you believe. At some point competence and style will meet, but I was yet to learn how to trust myself.
I spent years working on developing skills I thought I needed to be successful. I got pretty good at painting and I was miserable most of the time. I believed that in order to produce I needed to struggle and that was the only way to succeed. Working like this gave me opportunities, but I was unable to truly value them. I was consumed with the expectations of who I thought I should be. If something came easy, I wasn’t good enough. If something was difficult, I was doing it all wrong.
It’s natural to see work that you think is good and be inspired. I got to the point where I’d see something I liked and immediately equate it to I’ll never be good enough. Everything was personal. I kept painting, but stopped showing my work. I believed that if I worked harder and perfected my abilities, I’d be able to prove myself worthy – everyone would know how great I really was! I’d spend six months on a huge painting and then one day decide it was terrible (or that I was). I would take it off its stretcher, roll it up or just destroy and start again. I did this for many years, everything more precious than the last.
Some of us move at the speed of pain. I know I do. I felt like I had to either continue painting in misery or just stop doing something I once loved. It wasn’t until I admitted that thinking like this was failing me that I was able to let go of my expectations. I began to shift my way of thinking and do the exact opposite of everything that wasn’t serving me anymore. It was a slow and incremental process to release my old ideas and move forward. It’s scary to change.
Knowing what I know now, I wish I had been kinder to myself. That is so easily said than one can do sometimes. Over the years I repeatedly heard, “Trust the process” and that sounded so good, but I never understood how to apply it. I struggled a lot with trusting myself and my intuition. Today, the idea of accepting my process feels more attainable. I have to acknowledge that I work the way I work and think the way I do and it’s okay. I’ve learned that when I’m in an acceptance headspace I can produce unapologetically and I’m a lot more efficient. I create work that truly makes me happy and I’m excited to keep going.
I think it’s true that one should make a living doing what they love because there will be days that you absolutely hate it and will want to give up. Some days I have to remember that five year old that couldn’t wait to figure out how to make stuff just for fun.
Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.
Born in Southern California, I have called many places home spending several years exhibiting work in the Northwest, New York and Italy before making the move to Austin, Texas.
I’ve also enjoyed a career in design and have been fortunate to work with talented musicians and authors creating cover and packaging art. Most notable being the art and design for Death Cab for Cutie’s Transatlanticism and PLANS. Along with my love of painting, I have played drums for different bands and was a Texas Rollergirl for a couple of seasons.
My diverse interests and background has informed the work I do today. Although, focused on traditional painting techniques, my work is far from conventional. I experiment with my process and examine the use of materials making the work unique and vital.
We often hear about learning lessons – but just as important is unlearning lessons. Have you ever had to unlearn a lesson?
Saying yes to everything is something I’ve had to unlearn. When I left a job as an art director, I later heard that they had to hire five people to fill my position. Initially I took this news as a compliment and saw it as an example of how great I was at my job. I now see this as a lesson in setting better boundaries. I should not have been doing the work of five people.
I use to pride myself on never saying no. If there was something I was asked to do that I knew nothing about, I’d say yes without even thinking. I would obsessively learn everything I could and get the job done. While this kind of work ethic and attitude can be an asset, my motivation behind it was a detriment to my self-esteem. I was constantly hustling for my worthiness.
Today when I’m asked to take on a project, even if it’s an exciting opportunity that I’m thrilled about, I pause and take the time to reflect on what my motivation is. It’s never fun telling someone no, but saying yes can cost so much.
Are there any books, videos, essays or other resources that have significantly impacted your management and entrepreneurial thinking and philosophy?
Therapy. Even when time and / or finances are tight, I’ve always made it a priority to see my therapist.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.adderussell.com
- Instagram: @adderussell