We recently connected with Abby Dormer and have shared our conversation below.

Abby, appreciate you joining us today. Can you open up about a risk you’ve taken – what it was like taking that risk, why you took the risk and how it turned out?

At the beginning of my adult life, I was a young 20-something with a musical theatre degree scraping by weekly to pay my rent in New York City- a familiar story, a common trope, but the desperate truth for many creatives trying their best to make a living. I was no different; this life seemed very glamorous in my teen years, but was decidedly less so while I was pouring boiling water into my styrofoam ramen cup for the 5th night in a row. I was working as a nanny, a server/bartender, and a birthday clown (yes, really…a birthday clown), and still found myself collecting quarters to pay for groceries. As you can imagine, working three jobs was fairly exhausting, and I began finding it difficult to muster the strength to stand in line at 4am in the cold to sing a few bars for a panel of strangers. I was beginning to fall out of love with my chosen pursuit, theatre, which came as a great shock to me. I was beginning to burn out, and I had only just gotten started.

Eventually, I was able to pare down the three jobs to just one full-time bartending gig in Chelsea, but the fire didn’t return to me as expected. I was still tired. The hours were tough. I had taken a break from auditioning, but I still couldn’t find that “fluttering thing” deep down that I once held so dearly, the thing that had driven me forward since I was a little girl. Well, I thought, what do I love right now? And the answer was music. I have loved and played music since I was 4 years old, when my parents stuck me in piano lessons. I still loved music, and I loved the music that had nothing to do with my theatre degree. I had always loved learning an instrument, and I still had an old beginner Fender acoustic sitting quietly in my closet. I decided I would teach myself guitar as a healthy creative distraction in this “break” from my career.

I had only begun watching guitar teachers on YouTube and had about 5 chords under my belt when Covid-19 struck. My bar closed with the lockdown and my partner, dog and I went to my parents’ home in New Jersey to stick it out. I brought my guitar, as the little hobby turned into a full blown obsession. With no work to be done and no errands to run, I spent hours and hours of each day learning guitar. Thankful for the internet, I started to get fairly proficient and was posting covers of my favorite tunes online to send out to family and friends locked down elsewhere. I was asked to play a virtual gig. I started to write my own songs, something I hadn’t done since I was a teenager. I said to my husband “if I could just play music for a living, I’d be perfectly happy.”

We headed back to our apartment in New York when the dust began to settle. The bars began to open back up, and I was told I could come back to work. Something inside of me shifted. I was terribly unhappy working these service jobs for years, and I froze when confronted with the reality of going back. I obviously needed to work, but I felt such a deep pull in my gut telling me that there could be another way. I apologized, and I told them I wouldn’t be coming back in. I could not believe what I was doing and I felt immense guilt, but could not shake the feeling that this was the right thing to do.

Shortly after my wild decision, I was lucky to get my first paid gig playing covers on the sidewalk in front of the pub my husband worked for. I was terribly nervous, but thrilled that I was able to earn money doing this thing that I loved. Little gigs began cropping up here and there- a small wedding, a few more bar gigs, a baby shower. I also worked part-time as an assistant for a photographer friend to supplement my income, but I was able to avoid going back to bartending. There were months that money was so tight, I considered giving everything up and going to school to become something practical, like an x-ray technician, but I plowed on. It all felt worth it. It still felt like the right choice. And as I plowed on, more gigs were offered to me. Since I began teaching myself guitar 3 years ago, I’ve got a steady, weekly gig that pays well and offers stability. I often play private events and weddings, and play shows throughout the city. In the midst of becoming a full-time musician, and with the help of a fundraising campaign, I was also able to write, record, and release my first EP, ‘Apologue’.

If you told that hungry, younger version of myself that this would be my life if I held on, she would be amazed. To be honest with you, I am amazed on a daily basis that deciding to pick up that dusty Fender and not take back my bartending job lead to this. As a worrier, risk-taking isn’t always on my agenda, but I am endlessly thankful that I took this risk, and look forward to the next.

Abby, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?

I am a singer/songwriter and a gig musician. I play music in bars and restaurants, for weddings, corporate events, and private parties. I always tailor my setlist to my environment or the client and take the time to incorporate their brand or preferences into my work, and most importantly, I do my best to ensure a great time with great music. As a songwriter, I am most proud of the record I released this past June, ‘Apologue’. It had been a dream of mine to make an album, and this EP is so very special to me.

How can we best help foster a strong, supportive environment for artists and creatives?

Hire artists! Pay for their art! Listen to their work! Encourage them!

Learning and unlearning are both critical parts of growth – can you share a story of a time when you had to unlearn a lesson?

Unfortunately, in the theatre industry and especially in the academic setting, it was expected to push yourself to the brink. You would be expected to perform sick, injured, and exhausted. Calling out of a show was weakness, it seemed, and suffering meant dedication. That was a tough thing to unlearn, and I still struggle with that mindset. However, right before a prospective big gig, I practiced so much that I ended up really injuring my wrist, resulting in me being physically unable to play. This turned into a chronic issue, and I’ve really had to learn how to know when to push and when to stop. It’s a completely different world, but I’ve realized that it does more harm than good to suffer and further hurt yourself. It’s not worth it, and you can only perform at your best when you are taking care of yourself.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://abbydormer.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbigurle
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abbydormermusic
• Youtube: https://youtube.com/@AbbyDormer?si=NheayFmvByNURIhN
• Other: Purchase ‘Apologue’ on Bandcamp: https://abbydormer.bandcamp.com/album/apologue Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/6ChDqEzwhXzNYRxyJHcBES?si=eQP42lrQQ7eWP2Oh7dTF6A

Image Credits
Mia Isabella Photography