We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Abbey Hunter. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Abbey below.

Abbey, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. What’s the backstory behind how you came up with the idea for your business?

I’ve always had an interest in themes of death and dying. My weird collection of dead things evolved into a desire to be a mortician. When I got into college, however, my other passions and strengths lead me to the arts but I took the theme of mortality with me. I took Physiology of death and dying, death in Hispanic literature, and anthropology classes. I learned about the social construct of “Death Cafe’s” where people gather in spaces over cake and coffee to hold these morbid conversations. It made me think about how our culture is pretty broken when it comes to talking and being prepared for death. I thought it could be an interesting concept to make an ACTUAL Death Cafe with conversations, workshops, lectures, and resources all wrapped up in a cozy little space. For over a decade I’ve ruminated on this coffee shop and what it would look like, how it would function, incorporating the arts, while being able to flex some culinary skills as well. I figured if there was some way to make these conversations more casual, people would be more open to having these conversations with their loved ones (and themselves). By having accessible workshops and grief groups, people could be more hands on with how they manage death.

Abbey, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?

I’ve bumbled my way here by haphazardly following what amuses me; but food, travel, the arts, and the strong theme of death has gotten me to where I am today. I studied metalsmithing and jewelry making which lead me to open a public metalsmithing studio to provide a space for people to learn and continue the craft. Welding was a gig I fell into after college and it’s been a strong identity for me and use it to make functional pieces and furniture. A few years ago I got into the traveling chef gig. I’ve worked for kitchens and have done catering before, so this was just an adventurous sidestep that gets me out of the country a few times a year.

When I finally got around to starting up the death-centric coffee shop, it was at the end of 2020. I had just spent the summer doing part-time gardening work at a retirement community to stay busy during the pandemic. I couldn’t open my metal studio back up for classes, so I was chomping at the bit for something creative to do. November rolled around and a friend of mine was finally opening her doors on the co-work space called Little Space Studio. It occupies a large industrial building downtown. She mentioned wanting to have a coffee shop available for her members. The gears started turning, we signed some papers, and I was getting the space ready before the year was over.

Coffee shops by nature don’t really stray too far from the norm. You’ve got espresso, lattes, batch brew, pepper in some teas and baked goods and you’ve got the standard algorithm. I wanted to offer the set standards but with another offering of intrigue to pull people in. I fell in love with robusta coffee when I was in Vietnam and really wanted to feature phin brewed robusta over sweetened condensed milk as well as the alluring egg coffee. There’s a lot more that I would love to offer by putting in a kitchen, but with any business there’s baby steps.

The main focus of this death-centric coffee shop is to harbor conversations and action aroud mortality. So far, I’ve started an online resource guide of local death industry folk. I’d like to screen through them all to be LGBTQ+ friendly and that will take some time but it’s a good start. The cafe also offers it’s monthly cafe mortel sessions which are open and casual conversations around death. There’s no set topic and it flows with whoever shows up. We also recently started Grief Group sessions that are also free. It’s my goal within the next year to offer more hands on workshops that put pencil to paper and have people more involved with the process of organizing and stating their wishes.

It’s been an ongoing endeavor to get this cafe going and to keep it afloat. Getting it started was largely a self funded effort along with a micro loan to pay for equipment. I can’t say these small businesses have paid off financially. I have bouts of hardcore stress from all these learning curves and my food supply is pretty minimal. However, I’ve learned that if you’re incredibly passionate (and frugal) about what you do, it can hold you through even the roughest patches. I’ve managed to create a business where I can build a community, change the culture around death, and incorporate my culinary skills.

What’s a lesson you had to unlearn and what’s the backstory?

I’m still trying to unlearn this but at least I recognize that it’s vital to getting things done. That lesson? Be a bitch.

I had a recent situation where I needed new windows at my metal studio. There was some grant funding that I managed to get, so everything was time sensitive. These windows NEEDED to get done before the new year. There was miscommunication on all sides: from the sales guy, window measurer, installer, and contractor. From the get-go I assumed everyone knew their tasks at hand. Come installation day I found out that was not the case. Needless to say after 2 failed attempts of getting these windows installed, I realized I had to be “that” customer calling, texting, emailing everybody, making sure everything was written down and agreed upon by every member of the party. It was incredibly uncomfortable for someone who grew up with the “midwest nice” default personality setting. But ultimately i’ve learned that being agreeable doesn’t mean things will get done.

Have you ever had to pivot?

The most profound pivot was at the end of 2017. My world was crumbling at home and work. I was employed in a heavily male dominated industry with a narcissist for a boss who made me feel uncomfortable in my own skin. It really messed up my headspace. My husband was unsupportive and eventually turned unfaithful. This lead to a divorce and me getting out of that industry. I burned a lot of bridges and let go of expectations. It was the loneliest time of my life, but also a time where all that pent-up creative energy was at it’s precipice. The only thing I needed to do was take one step forward. In order to move forward, you really have to be comfortable with the death of your former self.

Luckily i’m well acquainted with the notion of death.

The ashes hadn’t even begun to smolder before the New Year began, and I signed a contract for a building that would eventually become The Hot Spot metal studio. Making this leap propelled me into a world of entrepreneurs and strong leaders. I wasn’t expecting it at the time but it built a foundation of better communication, self advocacy, and friendships.

Contact Info:

• Website: www.themortalsgr.com
• Instagram: themortalsgr
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/themortalscafe
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/abbey-hunter-6a0571224/