Today we’d like to introduce you to Jenn Bethune
Hi Jenn, we’re thrilled to have a chance to learn your story today. So, before we get into specifics, maybe you can briefly walk us through how you got to where you are today?
I’ve always had this knowing that my life was meant for more. I just wasn’t sure of how much more until I embarked on an incredible journey living aboard a vintage bus and traveling the US.
The moment in my life that broke my heart and changed my soul was when we were struck by an oncoming vehicle, killing our almost 7 year old son 15 minutes after we began his birthday trip to Walt Disney World.
Losing our son was absolutely soul shattering and forever life altering. In that, I discovered what true and unconditional love felt like. The saying “you can’t know great love without great loss” became a reality for me. I truly didn’t know what I had, until it was gone. With learning that, I developed an immense amount of gratitude for the ones around me I love. I have this deep sense of appreciation for life, knowing that it could be gone in a split second.
9 years after losing our son, we decided to stop existing and start truly living. That came in the form of remodeling a vintage bus, moving our family of 9 inside, then hitting the road to travel the United States.
Through living in our bus with our 3 kids and 4 dogs, we have truly transformed our entire lives. In my upcoming book, I share lessons I have learned throughout my life, how I live in true happiness and contentment every day, while providing 5 practical and FREE ways you can live in it too-without moving your entire life into a bus.
My life has been anything but a paved path, more like a treacherous mountain climb that has never been explored before. I’ve taken those obstacles and reframed them as lessons where I can use my tools to grow through. Every lesson is an opportunity to learn how to manage my own emotions without taking them out on others. For me, Life is an entirely individual journey. I don’t have the ability to control what others do or say; so I cultivated the ability to manage my own choices and emotions.
I like to say that I am either a glimmer or a trigger for people. No matter which one I am has nothing to do with me personally and everything to do with them individually. Meaning, I’m not responsible for other people’s reactions or emotions; and neither are you. They are the ones that have to work through their own unhealed trauma-turned triggers and use their own tools to diffuse them.
Looking back on my life thus far, the most important thing I did was heal my inner trauma. Every decision and action we make, I believe, is rooted in unrecognized childhood trauma. As adults, it’s our responsibility to start seeing the patterns of the choices we are making and evaluate if they are in our highest good and alignment. If they feel icky or wrong, dig deeper and ask yourself what is making you feel that way. What were you thinking about right before you had that feeling? Can you think of a memory you have that could be tied to that icky feeling?
When I would do this, asking myself these and other questions in the moment, I would locate the memory, and it was typically connected to some trauma that I had. Once I knew what the icky feeling was connected to, like a memory of my mom shaming me for what my body looked like, I could then give myself the care I needed.
The care could look like me telling myself; “My mom was doing the best she could with what tools she had AND I deserved better. My childhood helped make me into who I am today and I am grateful for the person I have become. I am and always will be enough, in every moment that I am in.”
When I’d say this to myself, I would recognize the duality in life and realize that both are happening at the same time and both are okay. We all really are doing the best with what we have in each moment we are in.
I began to develop empathy and compassion for others and their journeys. I allowed the space for people to be themselves, in their own lives, because they truly know what’s best for them; just like I know what’s best for me. I trust that others can make their own decisions, just like I can make mine, and they don’t have to be the same for us to accept each other.
How I got to where I am and the “success” I have had in life has had very little to do with professional and business accomplishments. Rather, more so to do with focusing my energy on my individual growth as a human. Success is perspective and unique to every person. What I find successful and what you find a success could be two very different things and that’s okay. The important thing to note, is that you find what success truly means to you individually and not what society deems you should find successful.
By growing my individual self, I now live in peace, joy, and contentment in most moments of the day. Life seems to flow beautifully when I stopped swimming against the current.
Alright, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
Truthfully, I don’t believe anyone’s life is a smooth road. I do however believe that life goes more smoothly when you learn how to navigate your own emotions in the struggles. When you can manage your own emotions, you will find clarity in any moment. Thus, being able to grow through any difficult time that comes your way without staying in overwhelm, anxiety, or despair.
My biggest struggle? It was me.
Our Ego’s are very selfish and blatantly uncaring about anyone else’s needs or wants. Our Ego’s are clever at manipulating you using anxiety, fear, worry, and other heavy emotions in order to remove your clarity in making aligned decisions. Reading Ekhart Tolle’s book “A New Earth: Awakening to your life’s Purpose” was a game changer for me and how I viewed my ego.
Last year, I got a tattoo that forced my ego to die and be reborn. Reading the book above, made it all make sense.
This tattoo was a “sleeve” and the artist tattooed me for 15 hours straight with only a single 1 hour break. I had asked them if they would be going back to add detail and they reassured me they absolutely would. By 3am when the tattoo needle’s buzzing stopped and it was put back in its holster; I was utterly exhausted. My eyes were hazy and I was more than ready to go home, I didn’t get a great look at my fresh tattoo.
I crawled into bed with a very sore right arm and when I awoke, I cried every day for a month. It was AWFUL. The tattoo had no fine detail, lines were all squiggly, and my arm was adorned with dark black ink that wasn’t cohesive at all. It was hideous and very, very permanent.
I spent the next week crying with my ego constantly reminding me that it was ugly.
Within two weeks, I’d found a tattoo artist that was willing to cover up the monstrosity that was my arm. The downside was that I’d have to wait nearly 6 weeks for it to heal before we could begin to fix it.
Those weeks were agony and absolute torture. Looking back from here, they were also beautiful and exactly what I needed to grow through. During that time, I was able to reflect on what I wanted to define beauty as going forward. My tattoo wasn’t exactly discreet, people saw it and I could feel myself allowing embarrassment to seep in. I knew it didn’t look good and every time I looked at it, I wanted to cry. I knew I needed to do something to shift my mindset, and oddly enough it was something I’d done before…
I simply began to tell myself I loved my tattoo because it was a part of me now and if I love all of myself, I love this tattoo too. Whenever a negative thought would enter my mind about it, I would say to myself “I don’t agree with that thought; I love my whole body”.
By the time my appointment came to have it transformed, I had made peace with it and knew that it’s just another lesson on my healing path.
Today, my tattoo is everything I wanted and more. It’s exactly what it was always meant to be, I just needed to take a little detour to get there.
As you know, we’re big fans of you and your work. For our readers who might not be as familiar what can you tell them about what you do?
You know, I tend to look at “work” very differently than most. The work that I do, isn’t just about making money or having a business. My work is about being the light in a very dark place. Sometimes, that takes the form of parenting my kids, being a wife/partner, helping a friend, coaching a client, even having a conversation with a stranger at the grocery store.
I used to label myself by what I’d achieved professionally, and only professionally. The rest of life didn’t really matter if I wasn’t “successful” in the form of a career. Earning Money and Status in the community was the American Dream I was raised on. You work, work, worked until you retired and died a few years later before you could actually enjoy retirement.
In recent years, I’ve learned and lived my life finding balance with everything harmoniously; Not just a work/life “balance”.
I’ve tried the work/life balance and somehow, work ALWAYS would win.
As a single mom, I began a corporate career with a major pet supply chain, as a dog bather in the grooming salon. At 7 years in, I had worked my way up to academy instructor; where I taught and certified students to groom dogs.
I eventually got married, had children, suffered major life events, and owned my own Pet Styling Salon. It was wildly successful and I’d built a booming six figure business.
…I was also working between 60-80 hours a week building it and not prioritizing the “life” end of the deal.
Our marriage was failing, our relationships with our kids were nonexistent, and we were all insanely miserable. We threw a Hail Mary in the form of moving into a vintage bus, living and traveling the country with our kids and 5 years later; we’re the happiest we have ever been.
Now, through a lot of growth, I am able to find balance in all of my life. As Jenn, Mom, Partner, Friend, Happiness Coach, and many other titles I have; I don’t view success as work, work, working. I see success as simply Earning a Living as a part of my balanced whole self.
I am most known for being Jenn. Just me, being me in all that I do; whichever hat I’m wearing in that moment. Recently, a friend took a video of me walking through the Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta. I was staring at the balloons in wonder and amazement, unbeknownst to me that I was being filmed at the time. My son happened to see the video and he said “you didn’t know you were being filmed here? Mom, you walk the same way through the world whether you’re being filmed or not. You aren’t any different. You’re just you.”
I’m fairly certain that’s the best compliment I’ve ever received.
For me, I’m proud of so much and I am especially proud that no matter what I do in life, I am authentically me in every moment. I truly believe the best way to pave your own path is to learn who YOU are, down to your core and that’ll naturally set you apart.
If you’d like to live more in the moment and find out who you are, I can help you heal your self and grow. As a happiness coach, I specialize in emotional management to find clarity in any situation. I also speak at events, meetings, and retreats all over the country along my travels. We also film a bi-daily vlog on our YouTube Channel, Being Bethunes where we grow down the road with you, showing our real, raw, vulnerable (bus)life.
Those are just a few of the ways we earn a living in our balanced lives. Our life though, is about so much more than just the end result. It’s about being a kind human. It about helping others in need. It’s about raising our children to have beautiful souls. It’s about showing up every day to grow our marriage. It’s about showing our kids the world in front of their bare eyes. It’s about setting individual boundaries and learning who I am. Life is up to you to live and what it’s about is entirely yours to choose.
Our specialty is simply being the people that show you living life HAPPY is a real possibility.
What would you say have been one of the most important lessons you’ve learned?
One of My biggest and most important lessons was probably reframing what I defined a lesson as altogether. I used to view my lessons as struggles and I would absolutely DREAD them. I knew they would be coming up and I would say it over and over and over again in my mind “great, something else is going to happen, I know it. Another struggle, just what I need.”
The struggle would get here and I would already be exhausted from worrying about it getting here that I went straight to agitation once it arrived; sulking in anger that I had to deal with it. I spent the entire time the struggle was here being immensely frustrated, I missed out on so much life. I remembered thinking what a waste of time it was to be angry over things that are going to happen either way.
Later that day, my partner kyle told me something I now carry dear to my soul. He said “worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe.” I was obsessing over something that I could plan for and as soon as it was here, all the plans go out the window and I’d have to pivot anyway. Most often, needing to do the exact opposite of what I originally planned for.
I didn’t know it at the time, but the new plans turned out to be exactly what I DID need. I used SO MUCH energy to worry about it, by thinking I could plan around it. Once the struggle was over, I was too exhausted to feel relieved. It was then I had a thought, “what if, I view these struggles as lessons, and with each lesson I use my tools I learned from the one before it?”
More or less, that’s what I did.
Each time a struggle came up, I immediately reframed it in my mind to “lesson”. This was a lesson that I needed to grow through. Once I shifted my mindset, I made the conscious choice to take a deep breath. Then two, and three. Sometimes four if my body told me it needed it.
When I felt oxygenated, I could then find some clarity and put together a plan to stay balanced and know that whatever is headed my way I trust myself to make the best decision for me in that moment.
Reframing the Struggles into Lessons helped me realize that they are coming either way, the best thing I can do is learn how to grow through them.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://Www.beingbethunes.com
- Instagram: @beingbethunes
- Facebook: @beingbethunes
- Youtube: @beingbethunes
